What forum would you choose to moderate if you could be be one of those fasist, communist, etc, etc, moderators at SDMB?
Why?
Definitely the Pit.
Why? Well, I spend 95% of my SD time over there to begin with, and due to that I’ve developed just a tiny bit of dependence on the misery and rage of others. It helps me feel more sane by comparison.
bella–who doesn’t think it’s fair you asked a question you didn’t answer yourself. 
I would probably opt for MPSIMS. It’s, just, well, friendlier, although it’s really huge and busy.
And I always think that TV Time is a moderator anyway, because I always confuse him/her with TVeblen.
General Questions, because that’s the real usefulness and uniqueness of this board. The rest is just fluff that can be found on a million other boards.
Not that I don’t partake of and enjoy the fluff here, quite frequently in fact. But the real meat is General Questions.
Good point, but I am so wishy-washy, I couldn’t make a decision. Would I want to be in the pit where I could flame the firebrands with some feeling of security? Or confuse even more people in IMHO as apparently I have already done with The Wrong Girl? Or feel knowledgeable in GQ or…?
MPSIMS, so I could hang with UncleBeer.
Cafe Society, because that’s where I hang out the most anyway.
While hanging with UncleBeer would be cool, I’d like to be in GQ.
I don’t know what to think.
Should I be insulted that nobody wants to moderate IMHO, or should I be worried that the people plotting my overthrow are smart enough to do it in secret?
Well, I read all of the Pit anyway, but I read most of several other forums. I’d still have to say the Pit, but I’d be a terrible mod. I don’t especially like confrontation, and I don’t like people being mean to each other.
So I’d be handing out warnings left and right then cry when I got criticized. 
The BIGGIRL forum. All Biggirl all the time. All the posts would have to be about me or I’d delete them. The ones about me that are not flattering, I’d just edit.
And why is there not a BIGGIRL forum? My theory is that The Chicago Reader is afraid that we’ll be raided by The Lovers of BBW board. The Reader just doesn’t want the hassle.
[MOD HAT ON]
You’re all banned!
[MOD HAT OFF]
Just practicing.
I’m not that smart.
I’d probably be safest in IMHO. It’d be that or the Pit, but if I was in the latter I’d start recommending to Lynn that everyone including myself be banned. All sorts of problems.
Oh, yeah. You all think it’s all just fun and games being a Mod, huh? You are aware that the “daily backup” consists of some poor Mod manually re-typing all of that day’s new posts onto the backup server?* (Naturally, we stick whoever’s the newest Mod with that particular tedious chore–something to consider before sending in your application.) Then there’s cleaning out the sock filters–we tried to foist that one off on whoever was the greenest Mod, too, but it was just too much for one person, and now we all have to take a turn at it. And other little chores, like refilling the IP buffers (“123.45.67.1…123.45.67.2…123.45.67.3”…My Eyes Glaze Over, and by the time I get down to the “Class C” addresses, I’ve got a bad case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome), responding to ping requests from other nodes on the network (“Yes, we’re still here…Yes, we’re still here…Yes, we’re still here…Yes, we’re still here”), and doing all the binary-to-hexadecimal conversions necessary to keep a modern network node functioning. (Quick, what’s 1010110101010110010001111010100? Time’s up! The answer is 56AB23D4–c’mon, get the lead out. Now maybe you begin to see why the board gets so darned slow sometimes?)
Of course there’s the daily scan of the contents of everyone’s hard drive–sure, that one can have some compensations, but frankly, most of the time it’s a mixture of boredom (“Oh, joy, more detailed financial records”**) and disgust (“Good Lord, another goat porn afficianado?”). And some of the NSA guys we get to talk to are pretty cool (the FBI agents are all pretty dull, though, and most of the CIA agents are just insufferable).
Really, people. I don’t think you appreciate how much work we Mods do to make this Board the kind of place it is.
*This is what happened to all those lost posts. Turned out Arnold was typing them in Swiss or some damned thing.
**This may sound interesting, but believe me, it gets old real fast. After about a week, you just stop caring what people’s credit card balances are, whether or not they’re ever gonna pay off their student loans, or what everyone’s annual salary is. The number of posters who are really drug kingpins or who are being blackmailed over kinky adulterous love affairs is lower than you might think.
I’d quite like to be a mod, preferably of ATMB or GQ, but I don’t think I could devote enough time to it.
Super cool post, MEBuckner, although clearly you have too much time on your hands.
Yeah, that’s kind of a requirement for Mod-dom.
I’d have to do MPSIMS, IMHO or Cafe Society. If I ran the pit, I’d be closing threads right and left because people were being unkind to each other. That would sort of negate the whole raison d’etre of the pit, now wouldn’t it?
Mmm…to be a member of the mod squad.
I’d probably be a moderator of Great Debates. First of all, I could end all threads with “I win! I am the master debater!” and then lock them.
Secondly, I could finally change that sticky up top to something interesting, like “Please talk about my long and supple penis when starting threads.”
Finally, when they least expected it, I would off David B and MEBuckner in the bloodiest coup the world has ever seen. Many Shuvs and Zuuls will know what it’s like to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you. Gaudere will join my reign of terror as the queen of darkness, banning all in her path on my way towards world domination. That is if she’ll loan me her hat.
So where do I get an application?
I think I’d like to be a mod in one of the Comments forums, so I could set up the Automatic Mod-Posting Machine to post the “Remember to link to the column” posts for new and/or forgetful Dopers, under my username.