I can’t get any satisfaction. 
I am a huge Suicidal Tendencies fan, but the very last sentence of the last song of their 1994 album Suicidal For Life, Benediction, is “And remember… cool is only 3 letters away from fool!” which puzzled the shit outta me, because fool and cool are the same except for one letter… then I figured out that he mean that ‘c’ and ‘f’ were 3 letters away from each other. Then it started to annoy the shit outta me because it’s stupid because no one talks that way and it’s not clever it’s just stupid and I friggin’ hate it; the line should be “…cool is only 1 letter away from fool”.
Sorry, Mike. Hey, it’s one mistake in 23 years; most people would- hell, I’d love to have that kind of stat.
Not necessarily a boy band fan, but the Backstreet Boys “As Long As You Love Me” comes up on my XM radio from time to time, and the former English teacher in me wants to scream at the line:
“I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did”
Aaagh - it should be “I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you’ve done” - its grammatically correct, preserves the tense, and has assonance between “from” and “done”. It’s just better.
In Dance With Who Brung Ya, by Asleep at the Wheel, the chorus goes:
You got to dance with who brung you, swing with who swung you,
Life ain’t no forty-yard dash,
be in it for the long run, 'cause in the long run you’ll have more fun,
if you dance with who brung you to the bash
The bolded line always bothers me, with the redundant “long run”. “'Cause in the long run you’ll have more fun” needs to to change to “in the end you will have more fun”.
Sandi Thom
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with safety-pins in my nose
There, fixed it for you Sandi!
Okay, I know it’s comedy music, and OLD comedy music at that.
But, still, how could anyone write these two lines
Wait a minute, mister!
I didn’t even kiss her…
and not realize that “I never even kissed her” actually rhymes?
Every day a little sadder
A little madder
Someone emptied their bladder ?
Neil Diamond - Play Me
Song she sang to me
Song she brang to me
Every time I hear this I think, Neil, you didn’t even try, did you?
How about:
Song she sung to me
Song she brung to me
Or:
Song she taught to me
Song she brought to me
Now, he may have had to adjust the rhyme of the next two lines, but not necessarily.
But “brang”? “BRANG”
Bitch, brang me a beer.
Sticks in my ear every time I hear.
I won’t get started on the free-association lyrics of Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers “Islands in the Stream”. Pay attention to the lyrics sometime. They are nonsense. No line has any logical connection to any other line. I’m still trying to understand how “Islands in the stream…” can come to “Rely on each other”
Blondie doesn’t do much better:
Don’t be bad
A mad hatter’s beret
Sometimes you look like you just made an escape
Don’t be mad
Or lose your medicaid cool
Of course cool rhymes with fool
That’s actually a cover of a Leonard Cohen song so Joel is relatively blameless, but I think the same thing each time I hear it from either of them.
Van Halen - Why Can’t This Be Love
I tell myself “Hey only fools rush in
and only time will tell if we stand the test of time”
All I know/you’ve got to run to win
and I’ll be damned if I’ll get hung up on the line
I don’t know what it should be, but it shouldn’t be that.
Oh my freaking god I came in just to say this one. I really like that song but BRANG?!
Funny - that song used to so totally pick my ass over the line “It’s got what it takes.”
Seriously - how can that not be the weakest, most pedestrian, phoned-in, hackneyed, douchily simplistic line ever? Sammy was trying to make it sound like a fucking beer commercial with that lyric.
“So honey - why, can’t, I have a Strohs?”
Tina Turner — Proud Mary
And I never lost one minute of sleeping [DEL] I was[/DEL] worrying 'bout the way the things might’ve been
If you were worrying, you probably WOULD lose sleep. that is why Fogerty wrote, and sang it … never lost one minute of sleeping, worrying about…
Nah, that hurts the meaning of the song. She’s waxing nostalgic about two separate eras ('77 and '69) that she was too young for, in a way that’s anachronistic and cherry-picking.
I came here to post this!
A couple I have to hum to:
You scumbag you maggot you cheap lousy HMM-HMM
When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy HMM-HMM in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow
It probably applies to more than one song, but it’s Pink Floyd that I’m disappointed in. There is no dark side of the moon. Just shift it to the far side. There is a far side.
Not something that I can complain to most people about. Thank you for listening.
Have you listened to.the entire album?
It’s all far, really.