to well-known songs. Ok, not always “dirty” but naughty. It wouldn’t be a problem, except it seems whenever I do it, I forget the original lyrics. An example:
Am I the only person who does this?
No, I do this a lot, especially if other people are singing a song I don’t know (which happens often, since I’m a pretentious ass and stopped listening to any non-NPR radio a long time ago). Just did this at my sister’s New Year’s party. Helped that I was drunk, and I will neither confirm nor deny I was stoned.
No.
(Little Drummer Boy)
*Come, they told me
parum pum pum pum
Across her face and breasts
parum pum pum pum
Right after the anal scene
parum pum pum pum
rum pum pum pum
rum pum pum pum
*
all the time
nothing I could print here.
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Jesus Christ is coming to town.
If I had a hammer
I’d hit you over the head
(Spoken) And laugh really hard.
I do this almost non stop. Every single song has a part that something vulgar can be inserted into it and my brain loves this game. Loves it.
All the time. I love to change a line or two and make a song vulgar.
For instance, Things that never cross a man’s mind by Kelly Pickler:
Maybe I will do my version of Before She Cheats later.
SSG Schwartz
I do this to music I dislike.
My wife listens to country music which I just loathe so I always change the lyrics.
A recent one I remember changed the lyrics from:
“She left the suds in the bucket and the clothes hanging on the line”
to:
“She left some crud in the bucket which came out of her behind”
The last one made me laugh. It’s not limited to Christmas carols for me either, just with another thread titled about Frosty, that one is stuck in my head. Honestly, I feel badly, because my kids don’t know the lyrics to that song – I cannot remember the real lyrics!
Of course, there’s always:
and:
That reminds me of how me and my brother used to sing a classic:
He sees you when your sleeping,
He knows when your awake,
He knows when you’ve been bad or good
(spoken) so be good god-dammit!
I enjoy this game, but even better is using extant lyrics and making them dirty with a nudge and a wink. My favorite Beltaine song* is “Joy to the World”
Joy to the world, the Lord is come! 
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.
And, for a close second, “Oh Come, All Ye Faithful”, of course.
The only drawback is that it’s really, really hard to sit through Christmas Mass with my mother-in-law and not gigglesnort my way straight to hell.
*Beltaine is a ribald nature “fertility” festival in my neck of the woods, when we celebrate spring and bunnies and fucking your brains out, and suppose that the gods and the goddesses are ruttin’ right along with us
I find your ideas fascinating and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Have you noticed that you can’t make AC/DC songs any dirtier? Just more explicit.
And I’ve tried.
Might I suggest for your perusal, the Battle Hymn of the Republic, Tea-style? 
(Why yes, the lyrics are changed, but I am proud of the driver’s seat on the bus I’m getting for this one…)
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!
He hath trampled out the vintage in his “grapes of wrath” was stored
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword
The Lord hath come too soon!
Premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation
The Lord hath come too soon!
ETA: Just don’t ask me what happens to Jesus Loves Me - 'cause I’m pretty sure you already know.
Very often. Sometimes it’s just a line or two, as with the 80s remake of ‘Puttin on the Ritz’, in which that line became:
suckin’ on her tits.
Dressed up like a million dollar trouper,
hoping he can slip it in her pooper,
Super Duper!
Wait, you can understand their lyrics?!? :dubious:
You know, I have noticed that it is mostly songs that I find annoying that I do this to, hmmm. Of course, in our house, it is commonplace to hear “read a book” in the middle of a song – that is the standard “I don’t know the lyrics, so I’ma just make shit up” line at our house.
Oh, and for your consideration, Rudolph the Small-Dicked Porn Star:
Yes, I have a whole penthouse suite reserved for me, why do you ask?
I do this all the time, but pretty much only for the hook or title lines to songs.
For example:
Elton John: “Don’t let your son go down on me.”
Backstreet Boys: “I want a three way.”
Led Zeppelin: “Your wife is gonna come.”
Ho, ho, ho,
she wouldn’t blow.
Ho, ho, ho,
she wouldn’t bloooow,
down in the alley lick, lick, lick,
but that fuckin btch wouldn’t suck my d*ck!
Am I the only one who thought about this thread in Cafe Society about America’s sense of cultural inferiority when I read this thread? 
Some of these are HI-larious.
And AC/DC’s (well, Bon Scott’s) lyrics are simply divine: