… He’ll want some ammunition to go with it.
So you’ll give him your supply of RPG-29s that you got for last Christmas and accompany him downtown.
You got a supply of RPG-29s for Christmas!?
I only got one empty SKS magazine.
If you accompany him downtown…
… he’s going to want an AK-47 to shoot into the air in celebration.
I think that’s awfully racial profiling of you. Anyone who gets a grenede launcher wants ammo to go with it. Sheesh.
The sand caked in the magazine and lower receiver will remind him of his cave in Damascus. He will insist on buying an antique Syrian dagger to clear it out.
Once he has the dagger, he’ll be so excited, he’ll want a hostage use it on.
He’ll ask a policeman for directions to the nearest embassy.
Then he’ll want a camera to put threatening video on the web.
Once he takes the video, he will want you to take him to a place where he can upload it to the web.
Christian militants are so much easier to please. A pipe and some explosives is all they want. Maybe two pipes to form a cross.
Once it’s uploaded, he will want to behead you, but he won’t, because he won’t have a way to get back home.
When he uploads it to the web, he’ll want to check his email.
When he opens his email he will find a message from Osama.
Osama will want him to train 5 locals for a new terror cell. He asks you for the names of four of your friends.
When you give him the names of four Moderators, he’ll want their IP addresses.
Talking about IP will remind him that he hasn’t gone to the bathroom for a while, so he’ll ask you to make a quick pit stop.
In the men’s room, he will spot a condom machine, will cadge all your spare change to buy a lime-green one, which is an American Infidel color he has never seen before in a rubber.
And then he will need a female to try it out on.
So you will take him to a bar.
And he found a woman, but his hands are already full, so he decides he needs a bag to carry it all in. So you take him to Macys.