Wolfman’s got nads!
I just wanted to say that I am finding this thread to be on of the most entertaining in recent memory.
Carry on. 
If I recall correctly from the White Wolf Vampire game, vampires are capable of sex, by virtue of their complete control of their own blood flow, but that it gives them no particularly notable sensation. If the nerve endings in the erogenous zones are dead, then it’s reasonable to suppose that those in their gonads would be as well.
In the D&D rules, vampires are in general unharmed by any normal weapon, so it would take a high-level monk or the assistance of a druid casting Magic Fang to do any harm at all to them using an unarmed strike such as a kick. This still leaves open the question of the effects of a magical weapon on the crotch region.
So in D&D you would have to be a Mage wearing Boots of Kicking +7 or greater to harm an average vampire? What die would you roll for that?
I am playing a Zombie in a MMPORG right now - :rolleyes: I would say kicking zombies only makes them hungrier!
In case anyone esle wants to play, visit http://www.urbandead.com/ 
BMax
Amp
SkipMagic
::tweet:: An offical time-out has been called for a ruling on the quotation. After review of The Monster Squad, the plays stands as called by Amp. Wolfman has nards. Carry-on.
Obviously…but then again, Werewolves aren’t undead(they’re very much alive).
Unless of course, this is the dreaded zombie werewolf we’re talking about.
P.N. Elrod’s vampires (The Vampire Files series and others) can sometimes distantly feel pain from hard strikes to sensitive targets, and may register brief, sharp pains from things like gunshots, but suffer no lasting effects. The exception is when they get hit with something made of wood–that jacks them up in a serious way, and can block their ability to go incorporeal. So, if you were wearing wooden clogs, a good swift kick would ruin Jack Fleming’s day.
Now for a type of undead we haven’t addressed yet: Mummies. The gonads of male subjects were not removed in the mummification process, so a male mummy might still present a target. However, given the presumably shriveled and hardened condition of the assets in question, and a typical mummy’s imperviousness to pain, kicking him in the nads probably wouldn’t buy you much. On the other hand, the drying process should leave mummies relatively light; you might manage to send him flying, even if you didn’t actually hurt him.
If you kicked a member of the undead in the 'nads, would it hurt?
Yes…after it tore your leg off and used it to savagely beat you, I think it would hurt.
Not if you’re wearing shoes.
Thankew! I’ll be here all week!
[hijack] A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a drink and a mop. [/hijack]
What about the Witch King of Angmar? If it was a woman doing the kicking?
Barrow-wights? They are corporeal - but just a fancy zombie with a dress-up-hobbit fetish, or nuttable?
That brings up an interesting issue. The Witch-King’s boast is “No living man may hinder me.” And Mablung (IIRC) prophesied that “not by the hand of man” would he fall.
Could a zombie take on the Witch-King? What about a vampire or a werewolf? One presumes that as a Maiar, Gandalf could, but his commission forbade it. What about Saruman (before he was cast out of the White Council)? Had his plans worked our a bit closer to his own imaginings, would he have been able to take out the Witch-King?
Oh you guys…what is this American obsession with being kicked or hit in the balls? Does it have some historical/cultural basis? This is like the SDMB version of America’s funniest home videos.
… with zombies.
Football…
Groin…
It works on so many levels.
“Mrrrrrrgh. Mur gruhn.”
This question is for Marlon Perkins from the Mutual of Omaha:
Not anything related to the undead or trying to suck out your brains, but with all the mention of nads and nards has gotten me to think about Merpeople and if you could defend yourself from a merman (not Ethel) by kicking it in the balls…if you could find them or are they egg layers or something?
Werewolf Nards would be an excellent user name
*Cold be hand and heart and bone,
and cold be sleep under stone;
never more to * WHOK *EEAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!
GAAAHHH! AAUGGHH! Hhaauunnggg… Nnguggh…
Unhh… Oh Jesus… Oh you little bastard…
Ohh when I get my hands on you…
I’m gonna rip your ***WHOK ** EEAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!
Oh my fucking God…
Terrifel, explain to my kids what’s so damn funny, would you? I can’t breathe…
Mel, I don’t know about the rest of the US, but yeah, I find it blindingly hilarious. My husband is horrified and disgusted by turns- he only needs to fake a groin injury and I am laughing so hard I almost wet myself. It’s always been that way.
I know it’s wrong, and I’m so ashamed.