“Obama suspends campaign to spend time with dieing grandmother”
“Obama attends rally of one-eyed black Jewish men while his grandmother dies”
Which headline do you think give him the most positive PR?
Why? Is she a terrorist or something?
I’m not particularly an Obama fan (nor a McCain fan, either), but I think his going to visit his grandmother is a good thing. I don’t see how it can hurt him and can probably only help his chances–but the best thing would be if he didn’t give a damn about that one way or the other. She’s his grandmother who raised him. He loves her. He wants to go visit her before she dies. Anyone with any decency would, IMO.
Basically, flying out there makes him human like the rest of us. His detractors can curse him all they want, but you go visit your dying grandmother and you get a bye for a day or two. That would be the logical thing to do, in my opinion. From a political standpoint, this could not have happened at a better time. When all arrows are pointed in the same direction [which they are now] then the end is inevitable.
I think the only way it could be a bad thing is if he starts trumpeting his visit to his grandmother in speeches.
To the actual question in the OP, I’d understand either way. I want a rollicking, drunken wake when I die, so I’d hope my death is after the election only so my offspring can let loose at the party and not worry about political consequences.
Of course he should go. I don’t understand why this is even an issue.
Because of awkward comparisons to McCain putting his campaign on hold for a few days so he could fly to Washington, which was seen by a lot of people as pointless grandstanding.
Never said it would. I am not asking if Obama should or should not go. I am asking if you were the parent of a child in a situation similar to Obama’s, and you were dying, would you want your child to “drop everything” and come be with you in your final moments? See the difference?
Which is good politics. Because it’s the right thing to do.
To add:
But why are you giving him credit for something I’d expect ANYONE to do (barring truly exceptional circumstances)?
I don’t know. It’s really hard to imagine being in that position. I don’t think it would make or break my afterlife whether or not I saw him right before I died, but on the other hand, he has the money and his schedule is flexible.
So to me it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other.
I’d want my kid with me. Not for selfish reasons, or at least not entirely, but because of the enormous burden of remorse the kid would be saddled with if he stayed on the campaign trail rather than come see me.
My mother died two years ago this Friday. I was not there the morning she died. There are few things I regret more, and I would not want my child to feel what I have felt.
This.
Agreed. I wouldn’t ask him to be there for my own needs. I’d do it for his.
As said right above, but also, there is a powerful strength in looking into your loved one’s eyes and holding their hand, on both sides of the relationship, as life eases out. It’s the uneffable, and you have to just be present to contribute to that moment.
I’m so very sad for Senator Obama that he sees it as the point he needs to have that presence for his beloved Grandmother. Perhaps she will be fine and pull through, but, I’m sure he will help with that. If not, then he will have some good time with her.
Let’s look at a metaphor. Say your kid’s a scientist, on the brink of discovering [a wonderdrug, time travel, the clitoris], but she’s in the critical stages of development. To leave the experiment for more than a few hours at a time risks losing years and years of work, and it’s uncertain whether that work could ever be regained.
Or to go to a political metaphor, say your kid is a peace negotiator who has spent a long time gaining the trust of two warring factions, and he’s the only person that they’ll talk to. He’s in an important stage of peace negotiations which could be damaged if he were to leave the talks. What about then?
I dunno, maybe we need some better metaphors, but to look at Tuckerfan’s question a little differently, we need to set up a situation where there’s a definite negative to having your kid visit you on your deathbed. What would your choice be then?
Thank you. That’s what I’m going for.
Well why didn’t cha say so? 
My own grandmother is 103, going on 104. She just advance voted in her 21st straight presidential election. If it had been me on the campaign trail I don’t know about her voting for me, because my politics are more “liberal” whatever that means, than hers.
But she loves me and I love her as much as anyone on earth. I wouldn’t care what others thought, I’d go see her and I’m glad that Obama has followed his heart in this one. It shows he has one.
I wouldn’t want his grandmother to have a prolonged death, but it sure would be a shame if she dies before seeing him become president. Because I think he will be president, and the cynic in me is going to enjoy watching a few heads explode.
Those are reaaaaally far fetched situations, more so than Obama’s current situation (are they even realistic?). Winning or not at the polls, many of the dopers here have expressed that visiting dying close relatives is something which is expected.
I cannot imagine myself not dropping everything at once and go see my dying relatives (surviving grandparents and parents). Heck, I’m feeling a bit of remorse for not being able to go to my siblings’ grandmother’s mass (I did see her a month before her death, and gave her lots of kisses and hugs).
My kid or grandkid? I’m not sure, I couldn’t force them (none of my grandparents force me to visit them). But what Skald said still holds.