Well, for one thing, she’d probably still be alive.
If I had married the first person I had sex with, I would have finished college and been a devoted member of a sorority while there.
I would live in a comfortable house in a comfortable suburb in a midwestern state. I would drive a Volvo station wagon and have 2.3 kids. A boy first named after his father (the 4th), a sweet little sister named Tiffany (or some shit like that) and possibly a drunken mistake 6 years later. They would go to private Catholic schools and be total terrors.
I would favor navy or khaki slacks with sensible flats and oxford cloth shirts from Anne Taylor. I would always wear pantyhose. I would have mostly brown and navy shoes, save for one pair of basic black pumps, all with matching belts and scarves. I would always wear pearls.
My hair would be a chin-length bob, worn straight and highlighted blond. I would wear pink nail-polish and lipstick and brown eye-liner with “soft black” mascara.
My relationship with my husband would be friendly, but boring. I would spend my days decorating the house in various neutral colors and watching soaps, while he worked with guys he has know since they were in a fraternity together. He would have many affairs and I would neither care nor even be excited about it.
I would also bleed every time we had sex.
In short, I would pray for death, and probably die in a drunk driving accident…which would be declared suicide.
I’d be living in a trailer in Wilkes Barre, Pa., married to an Asian stripper whose goal was to one day be a porn star–but would only do lesbian scenes.
At least, that’s what I heard happened to her after she got married to a premed major I went to college with.
Sue Duhnym, you and I would have been the subject of Lifetime movies or Law & Order episodes.
…I wouldn’t even know her name.
Um … I’m such a loser!!! [swiping tear from eye.]
I would still be single. Actually, I am still single.
I did 
Just for the record, I don’t feel as though I’ve missed out. As strange as this may sound, I just wasn’t into it before (I was pretty horny, that’s not what I mean). Had the opportunity before my wife, just never bothered to captialize for one reason or another? I hope I don’t sound condescending(sp?) to those who have had multiple partners 'cause my wifes been with others. I’m just an odd duck.
Good god almighty.
Let’s see, I’d be living in Poland, despite not knowing a word of Polish. After all she thought Poland was better than America, possibly with her parents. We’d both have 23,000 a year programmer jobs which is big pay in Poland. I would have given up on dreams of owning my own game company because she would have convinced me that I just wasn’t good enough. She’d yell at me for being self-centered and jealous. (Note, since nobody here knows me I will point out that my current wife would likely laugh at the notion of my being jealous, and I don’t believe anyone else EVER has called me self-centered. Not that I can’t be at times, but certainly not as a general character trait.) She would also be having several affairs, especially after the honeymoon wore off, since she believed that people eventually just got comfortable with each other. I would have to close my ears and lie to myself as she told our childrens that jews were greedy and blacks were stupid.
Then I would shoot myself in the head. I hope.
Classic “Good god what was I thinking!” story.
LOL! Sure but yours would glamorous and highly rated…while my episode wouldn’t even be relegated to reruns on A&E.
I’d be living in Baltimore, married to a goofy but over-achieving doctor who’s gotten a bit balder and a whole lot sexier in the intervening years.
That doesn’t sound half bad, actually. Well, except for the Baltimore part.
Shit, she was 7 years older than me, which means she’d be absolutely ancient by now! Seeing as she already had her own house and made a good buck, I’d gladly have given into my inherent laziness and gladly been her kept man. I would still smoke heavily, do way too many drugs, and drink far more than I do.
Hell, she probably would have tossed me over after a couple of years to play Mrs. Robinson to some other impressionable young lad (with more staying power).
[ul][li]I’d be living in a trailer park in the middle of Nevada.[/li][li]I’d have an ass at least twice as big as my current one.[/li][li]I’d wear polyester slacks with that silly little seam down the front of the leg that’s supposed to look like a crease.[/li][li]I’d spend all day eating Twinkies and watching Springer.[/li][li]I’d have a huge collection of Franklin Mint plates with pictures of Elvis on them.[/li][li]I’d never go anywhere, because he’d always be gone in our one working car, a 1974 Dodge Dart with one unmatching fender.[/li]Eventually I’d snap and shoot him for his latest affair with a cocktail waitress.[/ul]
Ditto – on both counts. By choice.
Ok, you’ll have to humour me here and let me speculate on how things might be if I’d married the second person I had sex with. The first guy was just an experiment. 
So, here’s what my life would be like:
[ul]
[li] I’d be living in my hometown because he couldn’t get used to living in a big city.[/li][li] I wouldn’t be working in my field because there are no jobs in my field in my hometown. In fact, there’s not much there at all.[/li][li] I would probably have a few munchkins by now so I wouldn’t be doing much traveling.[/li][li] Actually I don’t think we would have done much traveling before the kids arrived anyway.[/li][li] Lousy sex[/li][li] Our Saturday nights would be spent watching hockey. Correction, he would be watching hockey. I’d be doing something else.[/li][li] He’d probably be even more self-righteous as time went by.[/li][li] Lousy sex. Oh wait, I’ve said that before.[/li][/ul]
Ok so it doesn’t look that bad (except the lousy sex) but it’s still not my kind of thing.
GLOBIE! 
(I can hijack my own thread to say hi to long-lost friends)
Wow … heavy question.
If i’d married my first kiss, I would probably still be a virgin (yes, I was that awkward!), however we would probably be confirmed DINKs, each with a University degree - we’d probably only see each other once every three weeks or so.
If i’d married my first shag, we’d probably be divorced.
I’m glad i’m married to my wife, who was neither my first kiss OR my first shag.
You want me to marry my sister?!?
That’s just sick.
If I’d married my first, I’d still be awaiting (quite anxiously by now) my first orgasm.
Let’s see…
He would be working for a car dealership, probably as a salesman, after deciding not to re-enlist in the Army. We would have lots of nice things, or at least things that started out nice, but since he never cared to take care of his personal belongings everything would be trashed. We’d have 3 or 4 kids and he would constantly yell at them and tell them how worthless and ungrateful they are.
We’d be in debt up to our hairlines, and probably would have declared bankruptcy a few years ago. Even after the bankruptcy we would have financial difficulties because he had a “me first” rule: HE works for the money, so he gets to pay HIMSELF first, (meaning he gets his blow off money) THEN he’ll pay the bills…IF he’s got any money left over. He would drive nice vehicles, though, since he would have his choice of a few different vehicles on the lot. I would probably still be driving an old beat up Toyota pick up with no bumper and evidence of several mishaps.
He would’ve lost interest in sex a long time ago, preferring instead to watch police and/or homocide shows on television and war movies. He would always walk several steps in front of me and the kids in public, and give off a vibe of “don’t touch me when other people can see.” I would be working either at a K-Mart or a convenience store, and I wouldn’t have gone back to school, because my dreams weren’t important or realistic (although his goal of being a professional bowler was.) I wouldn’t be allowed to speak my mind or to be involved in any decisions because HE’S the MAN of the house and I need to keep MY mouth shut.
We would be living in a cockroach infested, crap-piled-three-feet-high-with-a-walking-path-down-the-middle house because I would have long ago given up on trying to discover ways to keep the house clean despite his freakish ability to tear the place apart just by walking in the door. I would spend the time I had off work just sitting around the house in a robe and slippers, or maybe the occasional sweat suit, greasy hair, oily skin, not giving a rat’s ass about myself or anyone else, only what was going to be on the trash talk shows that day. And I’d be thankful that at least the smells-like-ass, flea-infested dog named Prince would lick my cheek once in a while.
Wow, look what I missed out on!!! :eek:
Congratulations to those of you who made it through my entire post without falling asleep or skipping to the next post.