[QUOTE=storyteller0910]
I’m going to take one last shot at this.
You seem to have the idea that children are like little puzzle boxes, where if you can just enter the right “responsible parent” code, you’ll get predictably good behavior. It just ain’t so. Kids are tiny little humans, with all that implies. There is a period of time when they are no longer little poop machines - they are thinking, in some early way, trying to make and draw connections between things but not yet capable of rationality. There is no way, no foolproof strategy, that will allow any parent - no matter how responsible, dedicated, caring, intelligent, and creative they may be -** to guarantee a child’s behavior.** Your kid might go ten consecutive trips to the grocery store and never make a peep, sit quietly, and smile. On the eleventh trip, after an hour of shopping, when your cart is very nearly full, that child might get frightened by the Spider Man display, or suddenly feel sick, or just start to wonder what her own voice will sound like in this new environment. And she’ll cry.
[/quote]
I know you were answering a different doper but…
I haven’t seen anyone here insisting that parents are only good parents if they can “guarantee a child’s behaviour”.
I think some of us are getting our wires crossed communications wise. I won’t speak for jackmannii, but the problem for most of us that are complaining in this thread is NOT the kids who have issues like you describe above and are with parents who are actively trying to do something when the issues become earsplitting or potentially damaging to property.
The issue is with kids who are behaving badly and whose parents do nothing, or worse, smile on in cow-eyed idiotic adoration and act shocked that everyone around isn’t as enthralled (or deaf and brain-dead) as they are.
When I was a kid, (back when dinos roamed the earth :)), and I misbehaved, or my sister misbehaved and my mom’s back was turned? You better believe that the grocery store clerk, or my aunt, or the lady behind my mom in line would step up to the plate and “Young Lady!!!” me.
In this day and age? NO one dares say anything to parents about their precious angel, even if said precious angel’s climbing you like a grand old oak tree.
THAT is the crux of the issue, no one is allowed to be annoyed at a child’s bad behaviour and speak up about it. Oh, a 4 year old just crashed your grocery cart into someone’s leg? “Awww, isn’t he cute, he’s ‘helping’, Huh??? How DARE you say my angel is misbehaving, you must hate children”.
If you and others in this thread are not these sorts of parents, then you are NOT what the rant is about.
Kids misbehaving with non-caring, non-parenting parents in tow does NOT then equal “Children must always be perfectly and adultly (is that even a word?:D) behaving in public”. Of COURSE kids are going to have all of the issues you and others have mentioned here, and all and any of the bad or annoying behaviours.
The difference is how the PARENT reacts and behaves when this happens. Yes, most of us agree that a child needs to go out into public to learn how to be in public. That’s a pretty big DUH.
Some parents think that means “turn little Johnny loose, damn the torpedoes full speed ahead, and NEVER ‘stifle’ his individuality”. (translation :sit and drink coffee, gossip with your girlfriends and don’t bat an eye while Jr. or Missy terrorize everyone in site and behave like little heathens).
And while we’re at it, allowing a baby on up to older kid to scream incessantly and do nothing about it is on that list too. Plane rides aside, if your child is in pain, or is having an out of control fit, you do NOT “need” to be browsing for books, at a concert, or inside your apartment watching soaps (former idiot neighbor woman), while your children scream as if they’re being abducted and raped with a hot fireplace poker. (these weren’t "wheee, hahaha, we’re having fun and/or fighting screams, Nope, these were earsplitting, heard through the walls of an old almost soundproofed apartment, screams).
THOSE are the parents and the behaviours being complained about by most of us here. Not normal “kid is having a bad day and mom is trying, but nothing she does is helping” parents.
And someone else mentioned something to the effect of (paraphrased), you don’t know how sad and badly in need of something/anything to just get out of the house…blah de blah, to the point that you do have to take a badly behaving child somewhere and ignore it…".
I don’t believe that BS for one minute. THAT spells very bad parenting. That woman who played pool while her little baby cried was, if not a cold-hearted bitch, behaving in a decidedly NOT good parenting manner. Doesn’t mean I think she was a bad person, but at that moment, she was a person behaving badly.
And as to the “some kids could STARVE to death if their mothers don’t shop this very moment!” nonsense. Good God! catsix’s posts are insane, and generally completely lacking in any sense whatsoever, but THAT sentiment made even her have a good point.
Way back when, I went through some times where being flat broke would have been a move UP in status, and shopping was rare and budgeted to within pennies, and I still managed to get food into my family.
If you (collective you) get to the point where anyone in your household is going to starve if you don’t make a specific single shopping outing, you’ve got more problems going on than whether or not you’re a good, bad, or even mediocre parent. If one shopping trip stands between you and danger of starvation in your household, you’re a complete and utter moron, kids or no kids.
