In all seriousness, Goo has an excellent point. I used to lie like a rug about everything, and I lied ONCE to my husband. Once. It will never happen again as long as I live. The disappointment and hurt it caused took years to repair, IMHO.
When you use lies as a defense, it’s an awful thing to stop doing. My bottom line was: I didn’t know it was safe or OK to say I’d made a mistake. I would lie even in the face of the truth.
Zette
Well color me stupid. Sorry Tib
My SO hasn’t quite shed the habit of telling really stupid little kid lies, as a kind of annoying joke.
Me: Hey, use your own towel!
Him: (while drying his hands in my towel) I always use my towel!
He isn’t afraid to tell me things any more, and he doesn’t get worried as often. This is because I kept on telling him that I loved him, and that he didn’t need to be frightened.
Let her know that there’s nothing to be afraid of - and that you’ll love her even more if she’s honest. Good luck.
[Patrick Star voice]
Tiburon’s a girl?
[Patrick Star voice]
Check’s in the mail.
But that is the absolute truth!
Packers rule, and the Bears still suck!
Brett Favre and Bart Starr are the two greatest QBs in NFL history!
I don’t lie, swear, smoke or drink.
Fucking hell!! I left my ciggies in the pub!
Of course I’ll respect you tomorrow.
DaLovin’ Dj
Okay, I gotta admit,…these posts made me laugh.
They were right on target, too. She tends to fib about really stupid, petty stuff. I’m not into excuses but I met her ex and her ex flies off the handle about really stupid, inane things. For example, Ex might say, “Have you seen my camera?” and my SO might respond, “I put in on the desk.” And the Ex would scream at her about touching her (Ex’s) stuff. So if I say, “Have you see my camera?” SO will say, “NO…definitely not.” Meanwhile, it will be on my desk and I will have to explain to her that I don’t care one bit if she moves my camera. I mean, what the hell is the big deal? It’s certainly not something to lie about - and really, what the hell is?
She knows that small things like that won’t bug me and every time I don’t get upset, I can tell she is getting used to not being defensive about it. But shit, it gets tiring cleaning up the mess that someone else left. Christ on a cross.
I’m enjoying the hi-jack more than my OP; it’s giving me some perspective and the advice was good - I will try to be patient and reassuring that she can relax a bit. Thank you for the good words, especially ** Tansu, Zette, and Goo**. The rest of you…go fuck yourself! 
Thank you for the laugh.
Tibs.
p.s. Yes. Girly parts, jarbabyj 
Oh, no, I don’t need a cite.
Most people don’t seem to realize how their lies/deception impact others, similar to chaos theory. White lies to strangers or those who have no real significance in our lives is one thing, but to lie or deceive someone who cares about you is quite another. And you will certainly always be found out. Perhaps the one being lied to won’t have anything concrete to go on, but there will always be an element of distrust in the relationship…call it instinct.
Of course, there are habitual liars who get off on that sort of thing, creating an image for others to believe, then, I guess, they sit back and laugh as these people fall for it. But they’ll be old and gray before too long, and likely filled with a lot of “what-ifs?”. That’s a decent payback for the disappointment they’ve brought to others.
Relationships are hard enough without the sabatoge of lies. One has to look down the road a few years, and imagine what life would be like with the liar after the romance cools. Do you want this person as your life-long partner, co-parent? Will you ever be able to trust him/her in anything?
It’s really not that hard to be honest. Once you accept that there are six billion+ people on this planet and you can’t please them all, it’s pretty easy to focus on the few who do mean something to you.
Pardon the rambling…coffee hasn’t kicked in yet.
Thank you for the thoughtful post, T-3. I appreciate it.
Tibs.
This post is a lie.
Am I telling the truth?