Introvert, not outcast. Very different.
Not a member but a guest, and concerning the outcast… yes and no, mostly no. I would rather call it social laziness. I can interact with people and sometimes do, about once a week is enough, sometimes less: I have learned to be less awkward and not say what I really think, I have greatly moderated my sarcasm and irony. Do not try to show I am right about unimportant things without sounding haughty and detached.
My wife and me speak to each other daily, but can remain isolated for a long time. The pandemic was not hard on us in this regard.
I’m maybe as far to the left of locals in meatspace as I am to the right of folks hereabouts, which (a) is a lot, and which (b) I’d figure would kick off a quick race between getting shunned there or banned here, but, uh, not yet, I guess?
The people I share holidays with never want to talk about the things I want to talk about, so while I’m not exactly an outcast, I have been told not to bring up any topics outside of recipes or the like. I find this boring as hell.
Unfortunately, since we moved away from our home of more than 30 years and then split up, I have been unable to find a new tribe. I find this also boring (and lonely) as hell.
Thank goodness for this place.
The holidays are a stressful time for me. What with all the imagery of social gatherings and happiness and shit. Our actual gatherings have been awkward - my wife’s sister and family, which we see only around the holidays and I dont really care about, and my wife’s parents, who are elderly and frail. It’s boring AF, and no interesting discussions.
My small circle of friends have similar interests in terms of outdoor activities, but a lot of them are more conservative than me, so I try to avoid the political talk after some discussions got too heated and feelings were hurt.
I do prefer solitude and keeping a low profile, and this place allows me to explore and learn about a wide range of topics (and people - all of you), so scratches that itch. I don’t know about labels and such, but outcast seems not right - the way I am is the way I have chosen, not that others chose for me.
I’d say I’m more of a loner/hermit. I work from home and my wife does not. It can go weeks that I don’t see anyone but the occasional waiter or store clerk and my Wife.
I have a small circle of very, very close friends. The closest one to me lives 60 miles away, the next lives 100 miles away, next is 200 miles. I talk a couple of times a week with one of them and see them about once a month. We talk into the wee hours of the night.
And of course I have work associates. Don’t do anything socially there. And to be honest, they are scary smart (at least in their profession). But we yap during the day on IM. Not all of that is work.
I really started avoiding any social type events like x-mas parties when my hearing went south. I can’t hear a thing in a noisy room. I no longer attend meetings in person. I can join on video and use CC. Works pretty good.
And of course I have you guys to keep me informed and thinking about things.
Last night my Wife and I played three games of chess and a game of cribbage. We sit across from a beautiful fire in a cast iron stove with our dog laying in front of it drying off from the snow.
I love my lifestyle. Finally working from home. People type me questions instead of mumble them to me.
Exactly.
I can very much relate to this. I mean, I like to talk about makeup and TV shows and cats as much as anybody, but I also like to talk about deeper subjects, and I have a hard time finding other people who want to go to that level. Or people will listen politely to me, but then have no comment on what I’ve said. It’s like playing tennis by bouncing the ball against a wall instead of having a player who will engage and return your serve. That’s why I like to hang out here. My people!
I’m very extroverted and have more friends than I know what to do with. I find this board useful for some things, but I’d never mistake it for a social life.
I’m extroverted and engage well with others, but because I’m smart, a lot of conversations bore me. I’ve learned that most people just want to express opinions and aren’t interested in facts. Part of what I liked about being a counselor was that many my clients were also looking for meaning and creative alternatives. Some people are sometimes afraid of or dislike me, but I’m not an outcast.
I’m an introvert, but not an outcast. I have no problem being charismatic and interacting with others, but I find it draining (I refer to my work obligation as being “professionally charming”).
I have friendly relationships with the people I work with, but we don’t socialize outside of the work environment, and I live alone. I have two close friends, although most of our communication is via text. I’m recently divorced. My son (aged 10) is the only family I have that I keep in touch with (he’s with me every other weekend).
I vacillate between wanting to date and enjoying my solitude. For the next months, I’m focused on me, but I’d like to eventually end up in a long term relationship. I have faith it will happen, but I’m keeping my standards high.
I’m fine in social situations, and enjoy them generally when I’m in them, although I have learned to shut up about politics. Half the time I’m to the right of someone I’m talking to, and half the time I’m to the left. But more importantly, most people who want to talk about politics at parties don’t actually know much, and will get very angry if you suddenly take the conversation to a level they can’t cope with. So I talk niceties and get along with everyone. No problem.
It’s just boring. So I don’t enjoy parties very much. I have lifelong close friends, but none of them live close anymore, so we don’t get together much. My mother and brother died in the last five years, so I have no original family left.
I live a very introverted lifestyle now, even though I’m not really an introvert. But I have lots of hobbies and love reading, so I spend most of my time alone, or hanging out with my wife. I can go a month or two without seeing anyone socially, and that’s fine with me.
I don’t think of myself as an outcast at all - but I am regularly impressed by the number of ways I seem to be uninterested in much of what interests a great many of my fellow Americans. I’m not big on consumer goods, not interested in phones/computers except as tools, not interested in watching sports or superhero movies, … I hate crowds, and the idea of making small talk at a large party is essentially my idea of hell. Plus, I’m pretty much disdainful of organized religion or any belief in the supernatural.
But I just got back from my regular Sunday golf date with a group of 10-15 guys, some of whom I’ve played with for 30 years. Every Saturday I play music for 3-4 hours with a group I’ve known for 10-12 years. Every week I practice one day with an acoustic trio and another with a classical ensemble. And I regularly bike with my sister and see the one of my kids who lives locally and her kids. So I certainly get all of the social interaction I wish. But I’m perfectly happy to stay home with my wife, maybe do a little gardening, or just read a good book.
Rather than being an outcast, perhaps it is I who is doing the casting out, as I tend to be somewhat of an intellectual snob. Not saying I need to be discussing “important” things all the time - but I have little interest in people who are incurious, or who favor belief over facts/evidence/logic.
In America, a large number of people cannot read well enough to enjoy a novel.
In Tennessee, where I live, this number is higher.
Nuff said.
Not an outcast in real life. I’m fairly outgoing and like parties and happy hours. COVID and WFH have cut into my socializing, but I’m trying to reestablish it. I don’t mind small talk, and I find that almost anyone has something that like to talk about in depth, it’s just a matter of finding out what it is.
QFT. Everybody has a story to tell, and I like finding out what it is.
Lemme tell you one🙂
One, or two, or … yanno, Beck, I think you could just tell stories forever. You seem to be blessed with having happenings occupy your life, whether it’s Arkansas state troopers, tame possums, stray dogs, stray cats, ghosts, or anything imaginable or unimaginable. Keep 'em coming! And may each one be bad, bad, bad!
Ditto. I’m fairly socially active. I certainly don’t fit into every social group, but I’ve found social groups that I am very comfortable in.
I’m not a Member. I’m a guest. Says so right up there.
I’m not sure, but I don’t think the the OP meant to cast out those w/o member under their Dope name. I don’t think there is any distinction anymore. I’m not entirely sure how member got under my name.