I find I’m a bit of an outcast in RL. When I am with acquaintances, I only want to talk about intellectual things. Things that are a bit “deeper” than regular people want to discuss. I find, however, that most people don’t want to discuss things at this level. They prefer a discussion at a much shallower level.
I don’t consider myself exceptionally smart or exceptionally educated. (I am neither.) But I do like depth. Especially on a philosophical and logic level. I find, however, that very few people are in the same boat. As a result I feel awkward when talking with people, and sometimes I feel the need to “dumb down” what I have to say, and then I feel bad about doing so.
I feel as if I am, for better or worse, a member of a very small group who are on the “outside” of regular, everyday folks.
Pretty much the same here. Mostly I have learned to not get into those discussions with friends. I have some who enjoy them if one-on-one but in a group setting…not so much. My GF likes them so that’s good but even there I need to be a little careful.
I guess it comes down to a time-and-place thing and realizing when and where to “go there” (so to speak). Mostly I am pretty good at it and I am not an outcast. I have friends and get on fine in social situations. But I am not 100% at it and sometimes friends have a feeling of, “There he goes again.”
When I was a young person, particularly in grade school and high school, I definitely did feel like a social outcast. I was very smart, but not as adept socially, and I struggled to make friends.
Once I got to college, I finally “found my tribe” – a group of nerdy friends, who first met as Dungeons & Dragons players, and discovered that we shared a range of interests, as well as intellectual curiosity. (Forty years later, most of us are still in touch with each other, and we still consider each other to be among our best friends.)
As an adult, I’ve not had a lack of friends or social outlets, especially as I’ve been able to become close friends with quite a few similarly-minded nerds and gamers.
I’m 59 and I have tons of friends and a very active social life. I’m out three or four nights a week for live music and most of my friends are in the scene ranging in age from mid 20s to late 70s. Musicians and music freaks. I also have a fairly active dating life and often the two intersect. Much to my surprise as I enter late middle age, I’m very well known in the local live music world. I’m about as far from an outcast as possible.
Not so much. We have lots of friends, and they like to engage in those sorts of discussions, though I find them less interesting than I used to. Wait - am I the dullard in this conversation? Am I the baddy?
I’m outcast for lots of reasons. Being a deep thoughtful person isn’t exactly one of them. I think I think deep thoughts, getting them out of my mouth is a big ask.
Yeah. I depend on the Dope to think my thoughts out loud, as it were.
I split the difference . I’m neither an outcast, nor a social lion. I have a pretty modest circle of friends still in the area, remnants of a rather larger one that has dispersed over the years. But they’re all pretty intellectually curious (not that surprising, some are former schoolmates from college). My hobbies tend to be (semi-)solitary and I’ve always been a bit of a loner, but I’m perfectly comfortable doing the occasional social thing as it arises.
If I was being excessively nerdy (and I can be), I’d probably label myself as facultatively social. I can be a chatterbox when engaged and will cheerfully hang out with a small group if I know most everyone, but I’m also perfectly happy taking a solitary vacation somewhere. I probably still can get a little shy and be a wallflower in larger groups or folks I’ve just met - though less so than when I was younger.
Very few friends, closest “friends” I have are family and far away… liberal in the deep red of Wyoming; divorced dad who’s kids are now all officially adults; and on the family front, aside from my uncle (the close friend, along with his wife, mentioned above), I don’t actually do “family” things. Just never was part of my wiring.
OP: outcast is the wrong term–it means “a person who has been rejected by society or a social group.” For many it’s not having been rejected; instead it’s little or no interest in interacting with people in RL.
I’m pretty much in line with what OP says. Aside from church friends (whom I only meet for a few hours a week anyway,) I have very little social life. I am an extremely active Redditor, though, I have well over 300,000 karma there and post very prolifically there.
Nearly all my time is spent at home reading and reading.
On the one hand, I’m very much an introvert and don’t like talking to people, especially strangers. Many days the only people I speak to are my wife and my son, and that’s fine with me. On the other hand, I love live music and go to many concerts — I went to about 30 last year. And some of those were very popular and very crowded.
Due to my job and family dynamics I’m quite social yet the neat thing about this board is I can ask people follow-up questions. In a similar way it’s like being in Science Olympiad or Academic League when younger. I get to hang out with people who are curious in a good way. Ten minutes a day on here is golden.
Social awkwardness? Check. Niche interests? Check. Few friends? Check. Prefer to be alone? Check.
I wouldn’t say I’m particularly intellectual, though I was leaning that way for a time. I’m more of a Pop Culture nerd. But even when I follow YouTubers who are broadly in the same category as me, their interests still don’t align with mine. If they’re into Star Wars or animation or Fantasy, they get excited about things I don’t care about, and dismiss things that matter to me.
It’s not that big a deal, I’ve long since gotten used to it, but it does isolate me further from what is already an isolationist type of pursuit. It makes me feel particularly alone sometimes.
Outcast? No, I have a small group of friends who regularly tell me they wish they saw more of me.
Shy person with hermit tendencies and introversion of the solitude-is-as-necessary-as water type? Absolutely.
I am a definite introvert, and a bit of a curmudgeon. I also work retail 5 days a week, so my desire for fun nights out and weekend parties is generally low. I’ve never been a big holiday or milestone celebrations kind of person, and I do NOT enjoy entertaining.
My social isolation, such as it is, is all my own doing.
. I’m neither an outcast, nor a social lion. I have a pretty modest circle of friends still in the area, remnants of a rather larger one that has dispersed over the years. But they’re all pretty intellectually curious (not that surprising, some are former schoolmates from college). My hobbies tend to be (semi-)solitary and I’ve always been a bit of a loner, but I’m perfectly comfortable doing the occasional social thing as it arises.
