If you're such wonderful Christians, why don't you act like it?

The BBQ Pit
1

This may seem trivial, but to me it is an example of hypocritical behavior that probably manifests itself in other, larger ways.

The gift shop where I work has a large greeting cards section. We sell a line of cards called “Christian Expressions,” and they are very, very pious indeed. They refer to the Bread of Life; they have pictures of Christ carrying the cross; they bless, pray for, and admonish the recipient; they remind recipients that Jesus has their dead loved one in his arms; they tell the recipients that no matter what horrible, unspeakable things have happened to them, God does not send them more than they can bear.

Unfortunately, the people who buy, or contemplate buying these cards are more than I can bear, and I don’t think God sent them.

When we straighten cards or replace them (an on-going task), we find Christian Expressions cards all over the store: stuffed behind other cards, stacks of them dumped behind displays of candlesticks, crammed into crevices so they are crumpled and torn and have to be discarded. This does not happen to this extent with other lines of cards.

Lest you think this mischief is perpetrated by people who think the Christian Expressions cards are crap, I’ve observed people choosing several of these cards, then trashing the ones they don’t want and bringing the ones they do want to the register.

Also – we’ve all noticed that customers who buy Christian Expressions cards are usually rude and unpleasant. They don’t respond to a friendly greeting; they say “uh” when we say thank you; today a woman bought a “pastor appreciation” card from the Christian Expressions line and told me, “If this is the best you can do, you are sorry.” (Like I write the damn things.) Last week a man bought several of these cards. It was pouring rain, and I said, “Not a very nice day to be out.” He glared and bellowed at me: “This is the day the Lord has made, so you should rejoice and be glad in it!!”

I realize this isn’t the nastiest rant you ever heard, I’m a nice person, can’t help it, but I just want to put all those cards in the Dumpster and shove the people who buy them in too.

2

The people who buy this stuff are not representative of Christians as a whole. I am a Christian, and like many non-Christians, I find most of the ‘Christian’ merchandise saccharine, ridiculous, and depressing. I buy most of my Christian books on Amazon.com, because the junk that’s being peddled in the name of God at the Christian stores makes me leave feeling icky about my religion. If I want a card, I usually go with Shoebox Greetings; if I want something more serious, I get a plain card and write it myself.

So the people you’re being bugged by are that subset of Christians who would actually find such cards appealing, which I would say are not even most of them.

Therefore, my feelings won’t be hurt in the slightest if you put your dumpster plan into action. Have fun.

3

If some snitty pseudo-Christian is getting on your nerves, just look them right in the eye and snap, “Job 2:10.”

It worked for my great-grandfather.

4

I’m gonna go out on a limb here…

If someone’s only means of manifesting their depth of Christian Thought, Compassion or Hospitality is by means of a commercially produced greeting card, they’re not exactly a poster child for Piety Monthly.

Perhaps a solution for this problem would be to limit the stock of each card which is placed in the racks? If there were only one or two of each card out at any given time, perhaps people would be more careful with them?

5

Can’t say I think much of this as a card motive … there are some things, after all, that even Hallmark hasn’t made a card for. And I can’t say I’d have a high opinion of someone who bought a card with the specific intent of admonishing someone.

However, the problem lies not with the fact that these people self-identify as Christians but that they are jerks who happen also to self-identify as Christians.

6

Oh, FisherQueen! You write! You actually write! My customers (Christian or not) want a card that’s for “my daughter, I’m so proud of her because she’s getting her nursing degree in spite of the fact that she’s been through a bad divorce and broke her wrist last December. Do you have a card that says that?” When I suggest a blank card on which to write her feelings, I get a blank look.

matt_mcl, you have me fumbling for my bible, which is upstairs and I’ll go get it as soon as I finish this glass of wine.

tlw and all are right – these people can’t be real Christians, but why the pretense? Thisis the Bible Belt (where I live), but still… I’m afraid I just don’t get it. If I were setting out to pretend to be something I’m not, whatever that was, I’d try my best to carry out the charade to its fullest. These people hardly make a stab at it (except to those who receive these cards and feel blessed, admonished or whatever.)

A friend who went to school with Pat Robertson says Pat had no religion whatsoever in college, he just discovered a way to make money – but these people, who trash my store, don’t stand to make anything from their “religion.” Why bother?

7

All of what FisherQueen said. Another Christian who can’t stand sappiness over here. And I especially can’t stand people who use their Christianity for rudeness and self-righteousness. Luckily, I think the majority of Christians don’t do that, it’s just the few that do give the rest of us a bad name.

Ava

8

It’s only because
I love you so well
I bought you this card,
To save you from hell!

9

There’s a well-paying job for you, Miller, out there in smary card land!

OK, guys, here’s the thing. If you were me, would you say something to these Christian card-buyers when I catch them at their destruction, or face their rudeness? I won’t get fired. I’m the [i[closer*. We make objective because of me.

What would you say? Pardon me, sir, but what I think Jesus would do is slap you silly? Or what?

10

Just click on his link and your browser will take you right to it. Ain’t the internet grand?**

The amusing story of his military career can be found here.

11

One of the rules in the gift shops that I have worked at was that all Christian-oriented items be within visual range of the person at the counter, because the theft and damage from the religious types was appalling.

One of the larger shops put in video surveillance, not on the expensive collectibles, but on the religious stuff. Videotape of the fine upstanding Christians damaging merchandise and taking it to the counter to ask for a discount was often submitted to the perpetrators for perusal. THAT generally engendereda screaming hysterical hissy fit and threats of lawsuit for invasion of privacy. Nope, you were warned by the sign on the door, and the signs on the shelves.

The percentage of self-proclaimed Christians who do this may be small, but they are obnoxious, and taint the waters for us all.

The day I was passing the monitor in the back room and saw my pastor’s wife damage a $35.00 book of poetry (heavily illustrated, self-published, and we made NO mark-up on it) was the day I decided to quit quietly reporting it and go out and confront. First she called me a liar, then she tried to slap me, then she went to call her husband. When he saw the tape, including what she’d done…Baptists don’t approve of divorced ministers, so he sent her to a couple of Christian psychologists and keeps her in some kind of therapy. She hates me. Not my fault.

WHY did they put the monitors in MY floral department??

12

I’m lost as for the reason why they do this. What does trashing the stuff you don’t want get, other than hurting the store?

About the only rationale I can hazard a guess for is that the vandals think your store is “not a true Christian place of business” and want to retaliate, but I would imagine folks who feel that way would shop elsewhere to begin with…?

13

Oh, those weren’t Christians. Those were my evil minions. They buy the cards and we put my ‘special’ messages in them in order to corrupt and dishearten the general public.

I should have told my minions to be more tidy.

Mea culpa.

:smack:

14

I’m what I consider to be a reasonably serious Christian, and I have always gotten the heebie-jeebies from these overly-obvious displays of Christianity. My mom (a typical “Church Lady”, but in a nice way) feels exactly the same way. “There’s just something about it.” she says, with a shudder. And I know what she means.

I don’t know what it is—certainly we know of some really decent and sweet Christians who have all sorts of “Christiany” stuff in their house. (You know what I mean—figurines, framed prints, knick-knacks.) And they really go in for the “Christiany” stuff. And that somehow is OK for them. But then there are those who are just, well, I dunno—creepy about it. Over the top. Making too much of a point of it, as if they have to make sure that everyone knows how SPECIAL they are. Frankly, all it does it make sure everyone knows that a CHRISTIAN cut them off in traffic, or a CHRISTIAN snapped at them in the grocery store, and whatnot. Because you know damned well that people will always remember the negative things like that. It’s human nature, I guess.

If I snap at some poor hapless clerk in a store (hey, I had cramps, OK) or if I make some traffic blunder (sorry, I just wasn’t thinking) I want people to blame me, not my religion. Because it wasn’t my religion my religion’s teachings that caused me to behave like an ass. So my house, my clothing and my car are bereft of Christian-themed articles. Yeesh. Some of that stuff just gives me the heebie-jeebies. Can’t explain it.

15

I think there’s a pretty even distribution of assholes throughout society.

And you always notice assholes, because, well, they’re assholes.

Some situations might bring you into contact with a disproportionate number of members of a class of people, that class being one you don’t consider yourself to belong to. You notice the assholes, and think “that class of people are assholes”.

Examples:

You work at the yachting club, you notice rich assholes.

You work in Chinatown, you notice Chinese assholes.

You work in the trailer park, you notice poor assholes.

I can understand the perception that the Christians that frequent your shop are assholes, but it doesn’t really say anything about Christians in general.

16

Our cathedral has a website and amongst the things posted there are the text of sermons for the last two or three months. Last Sunday’s isn’t up yet, the one for July 13, or I would post a link to it, as the Dean said something that got a chuckle out of us. When speaking of living a Christian life in general he mentioned a seminary professor he’d had who said “There’s nothing meaner that a mean Christian, and let me tell you, there are some mean Christians out there!”

17

Excuse me, please… I’m a Pagan and while I am fairly literate when it comes to the high points of the Bible, I’m afraid that particular reference just whooshed me.

Could you please explain the relevance of that chapter and verse to the subject at hand so when I whip it out on an obnoxious pseudoChristrian I don’t unintentionally come off looking like an idiot?

Thank you.

18

I’m inclined to agree with Desmostylus. After years of working with the public in a variety of jobs, one tends to notice that the squeaky wheel gets the grease…

(one remembers the assholes, and tends not to remember ordinary people, or people who didn’t give you a hard time, no matter how nice they were).

(well, that’s not true. I’ll never forget the guy who gave me a hundred dollar tip. But even he was a bear about wanting his drink refreshed regularly).

…but, yes, we remember assholes far longer than we remember the people who paid for their merchandise, said “thank you,” and left.

When I’m in a position to see one of those soggy, sappy “Christian Merchandise” stores, I always find myself wondering what Jesus would have done if he’d found himself in one of those places.

Would he like it?

Would he gross out on the sogginess of it all?

Would he go all medieval on them, like the moneychangers in the temple?

19

Destmostylus is, of course, right. But my store sells lots of other lines of greeting cards, plus decorative items, stationery, costume jewelry, women’s accessories, stuffed animals, collectibles, ACC merchandise, etc. – and we all agree (discussed this at our last store meeting) that it is the people who buy the merchandise that is specifically Christian who are the assholes.

Example: recently a woman bought 50 $2 bookmarks as favors for her club members. She asked nicely if we offered a volume discount, and our manager gave her 10% off her total. She was appreciative.

Another woman brought 14 small gold-plated, $2 crosses to the register, saying she wanted them for her Sunday School class. She asked the manager to sell them at half-price. The manager said she couldn’t do that, but would have offered her a discount if the woman hadn’t immediately snarled, “So you don’t want to do anything for little Christian children! Just keep them!” and threw them on the floor.

Again, it seems to me that if I were pretending to be a Christian (I’m a Presbyterian, whatever that says about me), I’d try a little harder. I’d at least be aware of “do unto others”.

20

Well for destroying the cards, I would suggest this:

“While Jesus loves you, the local police are on their way to make you their bitch.”