I'll be damned if you fuck with my flying, asshole

The BBQ Pit
1

Well, today I got my bonus check from work, and as usual the High and Mighty Officer of the Company desired to hand them out. Now, normally this guy is a decent sort, but —

You see, due to the war (can something that one-sided be war?) in Iraq and the ORANGE ALERT and other sundry outrages perpetrated upon humanity lately, he has forbidden all employees to travel on business for three weeks. At least. Well, OK, I can sorta understand why maybe this is not the best time to visit Washington D.C. Fine.

But THEN he says that I should not fly this weekend. In fact, I should give that up entirely because it is MUCH too dangerous for a young lady such as myself. And I’m not qualified to fly safely. Couldn’t possibly be.

LISTEN Fuckwad, you can dictate to me in matters regarding my job and the company but you can NOT dictate what I do in my off hours. AND if you have a problem or question concerning my qualifications you may, with my blessing, take that up with my fellow pilots, my former instructors, the FAA designated examiner who administered my checkride, and even the goddamned South Bend, Indiana Flight Standards District Office. I’m sure you will find all paperwork in order and hear multiple good things about my abilities and judgement. Because, you ignorant slimepuppy, YOU are not, in any way qualified to pass judgement upon my flying skills. To put it bluntly, my friend with the MD and other multiple medical certifications and education, you are no more qualified to make sound judgements in aviation than I am qualified to perform surgery.

In fact, if you DID have even the modest education of a first-day ground school student you would know that I am required to pass the same tests as any other pilot working his or her way up the rating system and no quarter is given for me being a “hobby flyer”. I am expected - nay, REQUIRED - to perform within the system to the same exacting standards as any other pilot I have been examined and tested and stamped “CERTIFIED” by the FuckinAA you jackhole, and I find it damned insulting you think I am somehow constituionally incapable of performing tasks I actually DO perform properly on a consistent and frequent basis.

And no, it is NOT acceptable for you to say that you are telling - nay, ORDERING - me to cease and desist for my own good. Or because I couldn’t possibly know the risks I’m taking.

Listen, asshole, I’ve helped haul wrecked aircraft off a runway. I’ve gotten the blood of other pilots on my hands while doing so. You know something? An aircraft accident site STINKS in a very short time from the smell of rotting human flesh and blood. I’ve seen shards of aluminum bigger than myself embedded into asphalt and concrete up close. My airport buried two pilots less than a month ago. Yes, you ignoramus, I DO know the risks. Up close and personal.

But it’s just beyond your comprehension that I might know the risks and take them anyway. You just can’t conceive that I might make different choices than you do, or want something different than what you want.

Tell why the FUCK I’d want to be like you, huh? Away from home 2/3 of any given month, working 80 hour weeks, earning a shitload of money I don’t have time to spend, buying a beautiful house I’m never home to enjoy… Why the FUCK would I want that when I could be soaring above all the petty bullshit in the world, going where I want to go, not bothering anyone and no one bothering me? Take away my flying? What the HELL can you offer me in return, asswipe? NOTHING. There ain’t jackshit you have that I want.

Let’s get real, motherfucker. If you EVER hand me the ultamatium of either giving up flying or giving up my current job I am out of there. No joke. Sure, the economy sucks and it’ll cramp my style for a bit but I’ll still have my self respect and my pilot’s license.

Because, you meaningless piece of shit executive, flying is the best goddamned thing I ever did for myself. It gave me self confidence, self respect, and more freedom than I’ll ever enjoy in any other part of my life. I’ve accomplished something. I’ve fucking achieved something that for most of history people could only fucking dream about and most folks even now will never have the combination of desire, abiliity, and yes guts to do what I’ve done and do on pretty much a weekly basis.

So fuck you, you craven, sniveling coward. I don’t want to be like you, got it? Fuck you and your too-safe life and your play-it-safe and your infantile and SELFISH insistance that I make the same shitty choices you have.

Fuck you.

I’m flying this weekend, weather permitting, and I don’t give a damn if you approve or not.

2

Sorry. I didn’t read a word of the OP, but I just thought that the title was funny in light of the OP’s user name.

Broomstick … flying … get it?

There must be a Harry Potter joke in here somewhere, but I’ll be plooked if I’m gonna make it.

3

Well FUCK, why bother to rant when I can be sooooo fucking amusing with just a username and title? Hey, boys and girls - here’s a BLANK THREAD, just fill in whatever the hell you want for a reply!

4

That’s the spirit!

5

Did he actually order you to ground yourself? Did he order you to not drive on the highway, as well?

What in the heck do you do that he has to worry about it? (Or is he working up to hitting on you with “concern” for your safety?)

6

HEY, JACKASS BATTY, YEAH, YOU…

The name is Broomstick because I’ve been accused of flying them

And I’m a pilot. As in airplanes. Now please run along, the grown ups want to talk adult talk now

7

Okay, so maybe not the plane you fly, but I still think feeding choads like him into the intake of a jet engine isn’t a half bad idea.

So long as I don’t have to do the cleanup.

Maybe you could find a nice test unit or something - you know, the ones they test chicken carcasses on.

8

No, apparently driving down the highway is a perfectly acceptable risk in all weather and all manner of deathbox SUV’s.

Well, fuck, I don’t know. I’m just a damned glorified secretary in my day job. Maybe he sincerely thinks I’m making a mistake or is convinced I’m gonna kill myself, but the fact is I’ve been flying about twice as long as I’ve been working for him, it’s not like this is a new development or some sort of secret.

I think he’s just a fucking nervous nellie/chicken little type jumping at every shadow and police siren.

9

Kickass rant. 9.2 on the Trip-O-Meter.

Question: Do you fly in your own plane for business travel? I wish I could. That’d be so cool.

Tripler
What do I know? I just drive a bulldozer.

10

Thank goodness for that comma in the title.

Flying assholes? Where’s the Lieu smilie?

11

Yeah you got me too…I figured this was gonna be a rant about anal sex.

BTW wasn’t there a Harry Potter broomstick toy out last Christmas that served as a vibrator too.

and Broomstick that was a hell of a good rant! nicely done, now let’s print it out and send it to the sorry piece of shit.

Who the fuck does he think he is anyway. It’s not like he was actually concerned for your well-being, right?

12

Precision drop a bag of shit down his chimney. He needs fresh brains for monday morning.

13

Yeah, I think so, too - except company policy expressly forbids an employee flying themself on company business. This policy was in effect 20 years prior to my arrrival at their door, it’s certainly nothing directed at me, and, in fact, I could give some pretty good arguments why flying yourself on business increases your risk of Something Bad. And since my job does not require travel it really isn’t even an issue. Hey, it’s THEIR company, THEY make the rules.

But I don’t believe my employer (or a representative of the employer) has a right to dictate to me what I can and can’t do on my off time.

And, frankly, I think it’s a complete doublestandard. We’ve had managerial staff who indulge in things like free rock climbing and scuba and so forth and apparently that’s OK - it’s just us little peons who are too stupid to know that fire it hot, I suppose.

This has REALLY got me pissed off, and that after a week of frayed nerves, heightened security, mass demonstrations in the streets, and having to wander through gobs of riot police to and from work the last couple days. I really want that feeling of control I get from guiding a half ton of metal and plastic through the air in defiance of gravity.

Assuming the Transportation Insecurity Agency is still allowing that. Plenty of folks want ALL the airplanes out of the sky, which to my mind is like completely shutting down all the freeways to traffic to prevent drunk driving.

I mean, I am fucking PROUD to be a pilot, but these days that can get you treated as if you are a criminal. I have done nothing wrong, I am a solid upstanding citizen, I have never acquired so much as a fucking parking ticket in my life - why the HELL do local and state governments keep insisting that people like me should be fingerprinted, pay for background checks, and otherwise treated as criminals? Why search me before I get into a plane by myself and then justify it as “for your protection”? WTF? I need protecting from myself??? Seriously, when is the government going to propose rounding up all the pilots, putting them in camps, and then “processing” them through the security apparatus? I’m sure Mayor Daley, at least, would love that. There’s another one that thinks the little people are too stupid to be trusted with heavy machinery.

It’s supposed to be a free country. I went and fucking spent the time, money, and effort to learn to fly, learn the rules, and have spent the years since behaving myself and having a blast. I hurt no one with this, I’m even considerate about the distance I fly above houses and subdivisions, scrupiously stay out of the way of commercial traffic, and otherwise conduct myself with safety and courtesy. Because some fucktard pig-felching criminals used airplanes to kill people I must now be punished? Gee, my mom’s afraid of driving - maybe we should criminalize holding a fucking driver’s license.

It’s nobody’s goddamned business what I do on my own time so long as no one gets hurt and the law isn’t broken. Didn’t that used to be the American way?

14

It gets worse. Piglover Daley son of Daley wants to declare all of Chicago a no-fly zone yet again. Not getting it, it looks like, but it seems he has this major hardon for private planes. What, is he asking for attention?

15

Nope, looks like he’s getting it after all. From the AOPA website this morning:

And it’s all fucking Disney’s fault:

And AOPA’s president raises a good point:

Great, just fucking great. Like the Loop isn’t squirrely enough these days!

This what I mean - apparently I can’t be trusted to fly by the Loop a half mile or mile out and up from the buildings, but it’s perfectly acceptable for me to drive my car or truck through the streets, or walk around. Maybe even join some fucking anti-war protest and shut down traffice on Lake Shore Drive and Michigan Avenue for six fucking hours but God forbid I fly a small plane along the lakefront, over the water, without posing a threat to anyone.

Fucking asshole frog-felching latrine scrapings, all of them!

16

Wow, I wasn’t aware you were so friggin’ humorless.

I apologize deeply from the bottom of my heart.

Dick head.

17

Broomstick, my knowledge of personal aviation begins and ends with my monthly perusal of Flying magazine in the barbershop. I have read the columninsts and found it all highly interesting, especially the one where the guy talks about continual education and certification. That one woman’s column regarding her flying experiences and all the people, planes and places that she has encountered and the crash report section.

To me, it all shows one thing: That the mind of a pilot (with the exception of a few idiots who are wealthy enough to just buy a plane on a whim and wind up killing themselves, or drug/alcohol impaired pilots) is a finely tuned and precision thing. Also, that flying has many checks and balances and hurdles (both financial and time-wise) and that people who fly are pretty much intensely focused on the whole process. I guess what I’m trying to say is that from what I gather, flying is a PASSION. Perhaps your ASSHAT boss is resentful of your drive, committment and passion to, well, basically anything that he is unfamiliar with and therefore threatened by you.

I have some dipshit in my office that would continually poo-poo my investing in the company 401K. He would deride the whole endavor as “gambling” and say I’m wasting my money. It wasn’t until I found out that he was $30,000 in credit ard debt that I figured out his real motivation.

18

Did you ever think the guy might have just been concerned for your safety? Maybe? Just a little bit? Is that so wrong? Especially how things are going right now? And you’re blowing it way out of proportion? I ask these questions nicely, not out of being snotty or snarky in any way, since I don’t know your day-to-day relationship with this person.

And Jack Batty was only trying to make a funny–he didn’t deserve that response.

19

Yes, when one adult tries to restrict the activity of another adult - one who has FAR more knowledge, training, experience, and certification in the particular activity - then YES, IT IS WRONG.

Just because HE is afraid of flying does NOT give him the right to deprive me of one of my life’s passions.

He doesn’t know enough to make a judgement about safety. That was the whole point of my anology between medicine and flying - He’s a doctor, qualified to diagnose disease, not to fly. I am a pilot, I am qualified to fly, not to doctor.

Does my mother have a right to outlaw bicycles because SHE’S afraid to ride them?

Yes, I absolutely think the guy really is concerned for my safety. And that’s why he’s so fucking scary. Because his mind set is that he knows better than me what’s safe and what’s not (never mind he knows jack shit about aviation) and that, to his mind, justifies any action including depriving me of my free choice and freedom in order to protect me from myself. That is a fucking condescending attitude, it’s demeaning, it reduces me from the status of an adult to that of a child, it’s an insult to my intelligence and training, and yes, it IS fucking out of line.

I work in fucking downtown Chicago in an 80 floor skyscraper, less than a mile from the Sears Tower, across the fucking street from the 2nd tallest building in the US, we’ve had demonstrators shutting down traffic, scuffles with the police, gobs of cops in riot gear, concerns about gas in the subways, worries about bombs in vehicles - and he’s fucking worried about me on the weekends???

Oh, excuse me - I make an angry, impassioned rant about something I take VERY seriously and I’m supposed to laugh it off as a fucking joke? This is the PIT. You want congenialty go to a different forum. I come here to cuss, swear, and vent. I’m so fucking sorry my conduct is not up to your standards.

Or maybe I could just do the usual dodge and claim I was joking myself… nope, not gonna.

I’m really sorry if some folks think I’m overreacting (:rolleyes: like that’s the first time I’ve ever been called “hysterical”) or needlessly pissed off, but yes, I do feel that strongly about this. I abosolutely love flying. If I didn’t have that in my life I’m not sure how I would get motivated to get up in the morning and go to work and put up with a lot of the bullshit I deal with in an ordinary day. If you don’t have a passion you don’t have a life. At least that’s how I see it. If I didn’t have flying I’d have to find something else equally exciting and challenging to replace it - and that would be a very hard thing to do.

20

I did read your rant. It was very impassioned, reasoned, and well done.

However, on this one point I think you need to take your name out of your ass.