Illinois DMV, God Bless You.

The BBQ Pit
1

I got my truck registered here in the state of Illinois this week. I’d have said today, but it actually took two days.

Well, two days, and FOUR trips, totalling over 100 miles. I’m not in the best of moods.

On the THIRD trip to the Secretary Of State Driver Services Facility, I was told that I could not, in fact, get my truck registered or plated without the original title in hand.

I don’t OWN my truck. It’s leased. I had all the paperwork one needs, including power of attorney, the information about how the bank will send the title to the SOS upon request, but not to me. They told me, in essence, Tough Titty.

I went to another branch of the driver services office, and got my plates in under an hour.

So. The moral of the story is Everyone continues to be fucked in the head, nobody knows a goddamn thing, and I continue to be amazed by the amount of stupidity and apathy I encounter here on a daily basis.

The Illinois Tourism board had BETTER not hire me.

Come to Illinois! It’s FUXXOR!

2

My heart soars like a hawk.

3

Heh, they lost/failed to submit the voter registration info for both my husband and I, when we registered during our license renewal process. Imagine my surprise when I showed up at my designated polling area (literally next door to where I live) and we weren’t registered.

4

I have a Texas DMV story that may not top yours but is right up there with it.

A friend of mine was moving,(her husband was Air Force) from Alaska to Texas. When she went to get a new license she was told she would have to take a written test, a driving test, and produce a whole slew of other records, because Texas didn’t accept the licenses of foreign countries. She tried to explain Alaska was a US *state, * but the stupid clerk wouldn’t believe her. She had to get the supervisor before she was allowed to roll over her license.

5

DMV story time!

I’m registering a pickup truck for my father (I’m unemployed at the time) Because he needs to drive on a “parkway” to go to work, he also needs to get a cap for the pickup bed, so it qualifies as a passenger car. He also lives smack dab in between 2 DMVs, about a 20min drive to either one.

Go to DMV #1, trip #1, I am told that I have everything I need except form XYZ, which my father has to sign. Leave, go back home with the form, get dad to sign, and return the next day, trip #2.

I am then asked to provide a receipt for the required cap, which I do not have. Leave, go home, tell dad I need the receipt, get dad to pick up a reciept (which he didn’t have before) and return the next day, trip #3.

The drone asks for the receipt, and says “This receipt is for a 1989 pickup, you are registering a 1988 pickup, get a new receipt”. This is a handwritten (poorly) receipt, from a store 20 miles away. Leave, go to the cap place, get the guy to change the receipt. Since the cap place is nearer to the other DMV, I go to DMV #2, trip #1.

Go up to the window, the lady processes my paperwork, no problem. I ask about the receipt she says “Oh, that type of thing isn’t required, if you didn’t have the cap, you’d get pulled over on the parkway anyway. You went to a County DMV, instead of a State DMV, sometimes they use their own rules.”

You know things are bad when the unemployed find dealing with you a massive waste of “valuable” time.

6

Cheesesteak,
I loved your story. After the (non Registry related) nasty day I had I just feel so much better.

7

One time a DMV in Iowa tried to refuse my younger sister a drivers’ license because they required a birth certificate from a city and hers was from a town. Like we have any control over what the municipality of our birth called itself. Plus, all three of us were born in the same hospital in the same town and this was only a problem for her.

8

And you moved from lovely Iowa why?:wink:

I once watched a man that looked at least 100 try to take the vision test and failed it horribly like five times.
The lady issued him a temporary card until he could get something written from his eye doctor.
Damn, I feel safe on the road now!
It was really pretty scary to think about how many others get by like that.

9

Ah, Illinois DMV.

I have a friend who read all of Huckleberry Finn while waiting in line to get her license. And that’s technically a good experience.

10

See, I just expect things like this from the DMV.

I somehow managed to lose the registration renewal form for my 86 Jeep, and I don’t drive it much, and I got busy… Well, the upshot of this is that the registration expired at the end of May and I still haven’t renewed it. I’ll have to go to DMV in person, emissions certificate and proof of insurance in hand, to do that. I have these documents.

Our main DMV office is in a shopping mall right now (I don’t know why, probably just because this is New Mexico. We’ve learned not to ask). I’ve been there twice in the past month with my paperwork in hand, ready to do my time and register my car. The first time, the office was closed. On a Wednesday at 3 p.m. (I don’t know why…see above). I went again this past Friday, and there were a lot of people milling around, the number I took was 405, and the “now serving” sign said “158.” A woman there said that someone told her the line was moving, but she hadn’t seen anyone get anything since. I was apparently the only person who noticed a little handwritten sign taped to the door that said their computer systems were down and they couldn’t access any records. Luckily, since my registration is already expired, I had nothing to lose, so I left, reminding myself to bring my Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupon next time.

I read in the paper this morning that the MVD computers are still down. Apparently they have a very efficient firewall that’s refusing all the field offices access to all records. I plan to go back sometime toward the end of the week. And I am fully prepared for the drone at the mall office to tell me that the paperwork the Santa Fe office said would be sufficient is not good enough.

This isn’t a rant, though. This is just par for the course, because I live in New Mexico. I feel very sorry for those of you who live in states where you actually expect the state agencies to function.

11

Was that subtle irony, or just a Freudian slip?

(The MVD.)

12

ooh! ooh! I got another DMV story. For reference DMV #1 above is in Brewster, NY, DMV #2 is Peekskill, NY.

Was helping a friend purchase a used car. She wound up buying a car from an old lady. When I say “old” what I mean is absolutely ancient. The lady could barely hold a pen in her hand, she needed her nurse to hold the pen and help her to sign the documents. Needless to say, her signatures looked like chicken scratches, really really bad.

Go to DMV #3, White Plains, to register the transaction, pay tax, etc. Wait on line forever, as usual, get up to the window, the drone says “These signatures don’t match.” The signatures in question are the ones from the old lady on the Title and Bill of Sale.

I’m thinking if she signed one, why wouldn’t she sign the other? If I forged one, why wouldn’t I forge both? Seriously, the lady must have signed at least one of these documents which means that the sale is valid, right? The drone wants my friend to get the title resigned with a matching signature, we tell her that the lady is 1000 years old and a new sig won’t match any better than the first one. No dice, get a new signature.

We decide at this point to just try out another DMV, drive on up to Brewster and they process it no problemo. Gotta love consistency.

13

Called the local DMV, asked what paper work would be needed to register a car bought in Texas. When I was informed as to what was needed, I put it all together, went to the DMV office, wait a short time, went to the window, showed all the paperwork, was told by the clerk that I needed more. I am an “old Boyscout”. To prove to this clerk, the same one I talked to on the phone, that this was all the paperwork I was told I needed, I pulled out a tape-player and played back the phone call.

He was pissed off
After I said to call over his Supervisor, the registration was done.

I live in NY state. As long as one side of the conversation knows it is being taped, it is legal

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Illinois DMV here -

They refused to accept my SO’s social security card, because it wasn’t printed on a laser printer and therefore OBVIOUSLY a fake. The guy as much as said this to our face.

The card she was presenting was the ORIGINAL - printed in 1968 - you know, when laser printers were all the rage?

So we shlepp on down to the Social Security Office, who of course affirm that the card she’s carrying is completely legit, perfectly legal, and collectively sigh about what a fucking pain the DMV is: Apparently the SSO has been trying to get it through the DMV policy maker’s pointy little heads that the cards are legal and recognized, but the DMV keeps sending people over.

Apparently the SS Office missed the memo declaring that the goddamned Illinois DMV has jurisidiction over a Federal Office.
:rolleyes:

<hyperbole, not “how to”>The funny thing is I think that if push came to shove, it’d be easier for me to forge the newer SS cards than the older ones, if for no other reason where in the hell am I going to find a typewriter?</h,nht>

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errrr… pre-coffee typo: the card was printed in 1978 - still before laser printers. . .

16

Booker, that is priceless.

As soon as Geobabe and I can get to the Drivers License Bureau when the line is NOT all the way out the door, she may have some good stories to tell. Or to the PRIVATE companies where you go to get FL license plates, where they do not accept checks or credit cards, only cash or little tickets that the ATM-like machine spits out when you “withdraw” from your bank account.

17

Has anyone told the Russkies that the Department of Homeland Security stole their logo?

18

I had a good one about the Tenn DMV, but I have deleted the details from my memory. I just remember it was stupid. I ended up just forging all the paperwork and sending it by mail. Title arrived in a week.

Here, in Nevada, I sent 3 registrations in one envelope, all paid on the same check, on a Thursday. Got 2 new stickers on the following Monday, and the third on Tuesday. My DMV Rocks! Eat your hearts out!!

Damn! I have forgotton to not become drunken again!

19

That’s very, very funny! This makes it even funnier (we just can’t be like the other states, you know).

Now I’m thinking conspiracy theories rather than just plain, run-of-the-mill New Mexico state government behavior.

20

Hmm… do you have a Department of the Environment, or Environmental Protection Agency? Or, instead, do you have a Keeping Green Bureau, which is part of the General Resources Unit, monitored by the State Material Expenditure Records System Headquarters? If the latter, you need to worry.