You can’t tell the difference between pranks on your work-buddies and walking out the door going, nyah nyah nyah?
No wonder you gave him that advice.
I don’t get people like the OP. So the guy tells him his music sucks. Big fucking whoop. Does that guy’s opinion supercede YOURS? Does the music sound different because of that? It’s a big meatball blowing his stack. You don’t even LIKE the guy, but his opinion about YOUR music bothers you???
Thanks, that’s makes a lot of sense.
Today we got to work, and the power was out. You know what we did. . .threw the football around for 10 minutes.
You know what I spent 15 on this afternoon. . .convincing one of the new guys here that you get Christmas bonuses after you vest.
I spent about another 15 arguing with a guy at lunch about the O’s off season moves.
We’re not monitoring radiation levels at a nuclear plant.
You know what I hate worse than making enemies? Putting up with some fucking with me.
As a “frat guy” I have to take exception with this remark. While many fraternity guys are arrogant assholes, simply acting in an immature and antisocial manner does not make one a “frat guy”. At the very least, fraternity guys are expected to get along with the other guys in the fraternity.
Since you have no HR, your only recourse is higher management, or finding a new job if you can’t work it out with this guy.
Unless there’s some form of discrimination hidden in your OP, this isn’t a matter for the EEOC as some had suggested. The EEOC only cares that you’re in a hostile work environment if the hostility is caused by your being in a protected class. That doesn’t seem to be the case here, so no dice on making a discriminatory practices claim.
You can tell him to shut up the fuck without being agressive.
In my first week of work in my last job, the biggest bully in the office instructed me to do something really dumb. I disagreed with his decision, and said so. He got in my face. I stood my ground, without (visibly) getting angry, arguing purely from a business PoV. Finally, he relented.
The guy in question was the CEO and owner of the company. I won’t try to cover up the fact that afterwards I was shaking a bit and shitting my pants about being fired there and then, but ten minutes later he came back to me with a smile, shook my hand and said something along the lines of “you put up a good fight. I like that.”
When the dude gave the wrong advice about spreads, you could step in. Call him over if you don’t want to embarrass him in front of the customer. Stand your ground.
Sometimes people who act like this will persist until they’re resisted. They keep up with the bullying because a) they don’t think it’s a big deal - it’s just funny to them, and b) they want something to happen, and when they get a pushover, just persist for something to do. Stand your ground without anger and he should realise his limits.
Unless he is, as has been suggested, just breaking your balls, in which case I agree with Trunk: lighten up, and just give it back to him the same way he gives it to you, with humor.
Not only that, but notice how no one in this thread has made the bully into the quintessential “mean male coworker”. No one has made workplace bullying out to be typical male behavior or offered sympathies because they too have suffered at the hand of Mean Male Coworker. The one person who has intimated that this is typical workplace behavior has made it out to be a good thing…something that can actually get you promoted! I can’t imagine workplace “cattiness” or “bitchiness” being praised like this, but it’s all the same kind of unprofessional behavior.
I’m relieved I’m not the only one who noticed the bias.
Today he confronted me on my silence towards him.
He said “I don’t like this ‘no communication’ thing.”
I said, “I’ve been enjoying it.”
He said, “But you’re being a dick.”
I said, “The reason I like it is because if you’re not talking, you can’t be a dick to me.”
He said, “We still have to work together, you know.”
I said, “Well, we can talk about work as needed. Do you have anything work-related to say to me?”
“No.”
So I turned around and went back to work. I caught a glimpse of him rolling his eyes in frustration.
A few minutes later, I saw my folder on the server had recently been updated. Inside was a new folder he titled “FUCK YOU NUMBNUTS.”
He deleted it within a few minutes, but not before I grabbed a screen cap.
I applied for a great job this morning, much closer to home, too. I hope I get it.
Petty, petty, petty. Now if you were to use a guy’s account to a message board saying he liked fucking sheep, well, that would be mean. Of course, no would would ever be that cruel.
Exactly. The complaints about the dissing over music, and cars are what coworker sees as joking. If you don’t like that kind of joking, just tell him “Sorry, I don’t like this type of joking” and repeat as necessary. Getting along with people and protecting yourself is an important part of work and you need to learn how to do this if you are interested in being more than a subordinate for the rest of your life.
Now the problem of him telling the customers incorrect things is completely different. This should be discussed with his boss and find out how his boss wants it handled.
I have to also agree with Trunk. Some guys just act like this, if you were a frat boy type he’d still act like this.
I guess you are young and a little sheltered but you are going to come across people like this in some form for the rest of your life. If you get a better job then good, but you can’t run away to a better job for the rest of your life. You are probably going to have to learn a combination of letting essentially harmless things roll off your back and learning when to tell someone to back off.
Heh, I guess your age is in the title and I’m not that much older than you, heh. I guess I just had a few more frat-boy laden jobs when I was younger.
That practical joke shit gets on my nerves too, though. If I was in Trunk’s workplace I’d spent plenty of time making my shit secure and setting up a spycam or two, to better direct revenge.
It certaily isn’t out of the question that a Frat Boy type personality would engage in casual macho ribbing, relatively harmless practical jokes, and backstabbing office politics at the same time, and it looks like that’s the case here.
Charger, I work in the IT department of a company which is a print and mail shop. I mentioned this post to a coworker and we agree. You really should report this to your IT department. If they’re worth anything at all, they’ll take this seriously. Don’t mess with our machines. You shouldn’t have to figure out how to undo the things someone else has done. Next time he messes with your machine, don’t fix it yourself; call the IT department and they’ll sort it out. Not only will they be happier; you’ll have documentation. Again, if your IT department is any good, they won’t see you as a whiner or a troublemaker, but as someone who has the sense to call for help when you need it.
I’d also document the times your coworker gives wrong answers and his response to them. I don’t need to tell you that reprinting or redoing something because the client was given wrong information can wind up costing you or your client a lot of money. It’s simply good business practice to make sure your customers are given good information and people within your company know who to turn to to get accurate information (chances are, some of them already do).
When you leave this company, I’d also say why you’re leaving and make it clear that the kind of treatment you got isn’t worth the trouble. It may be what your boss needs to get it through to him that there’s a serious problem.
Except that people are expected to grow up, and unprofessional behavior, particularly unwanted behavior, is hardly appropriate in an office or work setting. The OP should only have to say “Stop this. I don’t enjoy it, and you need to stop it now”…and it should stop.
I’m aware that it probably wouldn’t. But it should. These behaviors are for people who enjoy them mutually.
…and he burned down the office.
I know what you’re saying about “busting balls” and all Trunk, but it is not to be tolerated in any work environment where it is not expected. The first hint that the bully got that he was really getting to the OP should have ended right there. Any further BS’ing on his part is pure and complete harassment, regardless of roles.
I think I’m going to have to go ahead and agree with you here. Regardless of personality issues, if the OP is acting like a conscientious worker and doing his job, he shouldn’t be getting crap that he doesn’t want, doesn’t like, and isn’t participating in, especially after he’s asked for it to stop.
I’ll agree with you, if you’ll concede that one of the personalities involved is an abusive personality.
The behavior is inappropriate, and the OP’s protagonist either doesn’t realise it, in which case he’s a socially inept yutz, or he does know it, and he’s acting like a jerk on purpose, in which case he’s something unprintable in this particular board, and belongs in the Pit.
It is not a “personality difference” to insult, attack, taunt, make bad choices, and muck up the company computers in time-wasting and damaging ways.
