I'm a Business, apparently!

I did a vanity search on myself the other day, using a different search engine and found …me!

I was surprised, because the listing gave not only my name, but also my telephone number and address, including a map showing my house.

I was a little surprised, because most People Finder sites won’t directly give that information.

But what really surprised me is that apparently I employ 175 people at my house, and do between $20 million and $49,999,999 in business every year.

I’ll agree that, since I publish a modest (practically non-existent) number of paid pieces every year, you could make a weak case that my house is a business. But if I had 174 people helping me, I think I’d know it. Maybe this explains why I have a hard time getting into the bathroom.

And I’d certainly know if I was bringing in tens of millions of dollars in revenue every year.

This was on the Chamber of Commerce site, which you’d think would know better. apparently not. I wrote to them, and they’ve taken my listing down. They claim that they get this through third parties, and don’t vet it.

Do you teach?

Can I have the $20 million instead then, since you won’t be using it?

If you have a pet rabbit, this means you better have your Rabbit Emergency Preparedness Contingencies Plan all in good order!

If you’re no longer a business, don’t worry about those TPS reports.

Damn, that would have been a good time to go to a bank and apply for a loan.