I became a Charter Member today. So bring your presents for me and come and party. 
No weird stuff like haunted boxes.
Damn!
returns the haunted box to Mervyn’s
Oh, and welcome and all that junk! 
::knock, knock::
Somebody order a couple of goats?
Can somebody sign for this tub of warm butter?
I bring free goo, floor pie, and invisible cola.
Hey, I signed up today too. If he gets a wowwipop, I wanna wowwipop.
I think you have to wait until post 100. At that point we’re supposed to get some handsome, mostly naked men fanning us with pom frons and bringing us fruity drinks and tasty apppetizers. They’re to rub sun tan lotion on us too.
OH, and maybe air tickets to a place that has stuff like that, hammock and all.
I really want that. I’m so close to 100. I tip well.
I will cry if I find out that service is for post 1,000.
you want something free, eh?
Here’s a free frying pan to the head.
:::::: SPANG!!! :::::
The cabana boys with the palm fronds don’t appear until after 5,000 posts. Gotta tell you, though, that despite some really impressive abs, they’re not all that bright – they’re still futzing around trying to get the hammock hooked up.
Oh – welcome newbies. Remember, the goat is actually quite friendly – just don’t make any sudden moves around it, 'kay?
And I’m all out of ice cream. Damn!
Hey, I didn’t get anything when I joined why should we give you stuff? Isn’t this wonderful board where everybody knows your name (until you change it) good enough?
Back in my day, all we got for joining a paid message board was a little “Charter Member” thingy under our names and we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get it! Both ways! And we liked it that way!
(We need a grumpy old man smiley)
You were lucky. When I joined we had to hop 26 miles wearing a balet shoe. Then we had to go work at mill for 4 years and all money we earned went staight to t’board. And ice cream? Ha! We were lucky to get a handful of cold gravel. You try telling that t’young people today and they don’t believe you.
>>I’m a Charter Member. So gimme stuff!
Bend over.
The doorbell rings. Iceland_Blue goes and answers the door of the fiat, which opens straight into the dining room. Standing at the door is a large grubby man carrying a tin bath on his shoulder. There are flies buzzing around him. He walks straight in.
Ed Zotti: Dung, sir.
Iceland_Blue: What?
EZ: We’ve got your dung.
I_B: What dung?
EZ: Your dung. Three hundredweight of heavy droppings. Where do you want it? ('he looks round for a likely place)
I_B: I didn’t order any dung.
EZ: Yes you did, sir. You ordered it when you became a Charter Member of the SDMB.
(I’m surprised this hasn’t turned up before now. The Dopers must be off their collective feed.)
:eek:
Bwahahahahahahahaha…
Lemme see…I’ve got two Digestives…A “VK” baseball cap…and some coathangers…
any good?
Well, there was this little contest back in the begining of the year. But I don’t work there any more so no books for you!
How about a case of caffeine-free diet Jolt Cola Clear?
:dubious: Kitchen faucet leaking again, eh?