Living in Vienna, VA, I would drive home from work and note a squirrel hanging feet first from the top 15 kV power line line of a utility pole. Clearly, it had grounded itself just long enough to kill it. It hung there for at least six months, before it fell off or was knocked off.
The only good thing about squirrels is they provide entertainment for my dog. All I have to say is “SQUIRREL!”, and he just goes nuts. Never been able to catch one though…
ha!
Then he thought, “Dang! Missed one.!”
OK - this had me giggling like a schoolgirl.
Then be forewarned of the possibility of this.
The squirrel community doesn’t like to talk about it, but the suicide rate among squirrels is disturbingly high. I once believed that the carnage on city streets was due to the critters’ failure to understand how fast cars are. I don’t think so anymore. Squirrels are on the top end of the scale of suburban wildlife, in terms of speed, cleverness, and skillful evasion.
That’s right, friends. When you run over a squirrel on a city street, it isn’t murder; it is suicide by car. It’s a terrible burden on the driver, because the suicidal animal suddenly dragged a human into his final act. It’s not fair, but the squirrels don’t care. They just want to die.
If you think I’m joking, go back to the corpse the next time a squirrel chooses to die under your tires. In most cases, you’ll find he’s put his head under the tire, for a quick death. It’s not your fault. It’s no accident that the word “squirrely” means “crazy and unpredictable.”
It’s not a pet! It’s a wild invalid! And it knows that I tried to kill it. As soon as it gets better, it’s gonna gnaw my brain out in my sleep!
Obviously he was disregarding the warning to never eat anything bigger than your head.
I was bringing in the garbage cans about two weeks ago and startled a squirrel under a car, who promptly ran into the path of another car and was struck and gravely injured. I finished him off with a shovel and fed him to my boa constrictor. Biggest thing I ever saw him eat, took forever.
Waste not, want not.
A squirrel Rambo attacked several people. The best part of the article is the tone of grave concern in the last sentence:
Sailboat
Squirrels are a higher form of life, as evidenced here:
I’d expect you’d have a Rocky time.
Worst artistsrenditionofasquirrel evar
I’ve never killed a squirrel. Heck, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one in this part of the country. I did run over a turtle in Oklahoma once. Thank God that trip didn’t get any more Steinbeckian. And I almost ran over a roadrunner once who decided the best place to run was right down the middle of Osuna in Albuquerque.
And there’s so many of them, the road gets slick and you slide when you try to brake…
Just be careful with the “kill and grill” tactic if you are at Bible camp. This squirrel incident at a Saskatchewan camp prompted a new policy.
Funny thing is, we were visiting Saskatchewan that very week and drove right past the camp’s sign while on our way to a cabin at a nearby lake. Inspired by the event, our folks had a grand ol’ time teaching my partner how to shoot a BB gun so she, too, could hunt squirrel. (BTW, they thought it was hilarious that the American girl had to come to Canada to learn how to shoot a gun. :rolleyes: )
Squirrels are tasty and delicious animals. I guess I am betraying my rural heritage…
I don’t like squirrel, but I know those that do, and I used to hunt with them.
You used to hunt with squirrels?
What, like, you walk along in the woods, squirrel on your shoulder like a little fluff-tailed brittany spaniel?
“Squeek !”
“What boy, what do you see?”
“Squeek !”
(Harmonious raises gun, looks through scope)
“Damn, just another oak tree.”
Talking about hunting, I must admit that of the pot shots I formerly took of squirrels non of them made their mark. I swear with they have some sort of squirrel-sense where they sense my finger hitting the trigger and they move just as the bullet hit’s the bark behind them. Wiley little shits I’ll tell you right now!
I hates me some squirrels. Fuck them.
They broke the deal!