I'm about to fire someone for the first time

I supervise an administrative person at the Internet company I currently work for. She just hasn’t been working out, and I have no choice but to discharge her. She isn’t doing the job, and I’ve caught her in at least one outright lie.

The fact that this is a deserved termination doesn’t make this any easier, though. I’ve never had to do this before, and I’m amazed at how difficult it is. There really is no choice, and it’s still eating me up.

I myself have never been fired from any position (thank God), but it’s hard enough being the one actually doing the firing. If anybody else has had to go through this, I’d like to hear about it. First-time stories are most appreciated.

I’ll also come back afterwards to say how it went…

I’ve had to fire two people. One was a man I’d hired and “just wasn’t working out”. well, more to the point, the rest of my staff was threatening to quit and even I was flabbergasted by him.

I chose a time when he and I would be alone (a Wednesday afternoon), told him that I’d pay him to the end of the week, but it “just wasn’t working out”. He asked for more information, and I reminded him of a conversations we’d had earlier where we’d discussed his work performance. I just kept using the phrase “things just aren’t working out” (it’s the phrase that’s in our employee handbook under "probationary employees ) I asked for his keys on the spot. and he was gone and I was much, much happier.
The other one was in some ways much easier, and other ways harder. I had left work early one day, but was called back because “the bank” had some questions. I then found out that 3 checks had been presented and cashed that I hadn’t written. In discussing with the bank the events, it was clear that a female employee was involved. I had 2 female employees. One had called me to tell me the bank had problems… The other had known where the check stock was (it was part of her job). I checked with our insurance co (we have an employee bond), board president etc. Figured she wouldn’t show up the next day, but she did. I took her into my office, said I’d gotten a disturbing call from the bank. nothing. I went on to relate (this part was true, too) that apparently, the bank had called to confirm a check was good and she’d told them it was. Since dealing with the bank was MY job, and not hers I told her “I have to suspend you without pay, pending an investigation”. She told me that my investigation would show she’d done nothing wrong.

a month later she called, complaining that the bank was trying to get her to repay the checks “but I didn’t do ALL of them”…

without knowing the details on your case, if possible, I’d use the first and try not to say too much about whys.

Ive had to do it f times now, it won’t get any easier (unless Im just over sensitive). The first time was a woman who worked in customer service. Apparently she got into drugs or something. When the decision to fire her came down she was missing on average a day a week, and was always late. Any way this is my advice fwiw (and it’s held up in later cases) BTW, I live in an “at will” state so #1 may not apply to you.

  1. Try not to make accusations, whether it be poor perfomance, or whatever.

people hearing an accusation will try to defend themselves, putting you in the position of saying "yeah, well you’re fired anyway

  1. Do it quickly.

don’t hem and haw, or wish things had went differently, for the same as above

  1. If possible have an assistant or someone else with you. Especially important if you’re male and the employee is female.
  • Ive found it to be a great form of moral support, also the dismissee sees a unified front so to speak.*
  1. If possible offer a letter of recomendation.
  • Office types love these *

Hope it helps

Having documentation on file is always in your favor. Whenever you counsel an employee, have your points set down on paper in advance, and then, after going over it with them, aske them to sign it (If they refuse to sign it, try flipping the paper over and insisiting that they write “I refuse to sign this form” on the back and sign that. If you can keep a straight face it usually works).
When you do terminate them, I think its best to do it as quckly as possible, with no debate. I’ve been fired very stupidly a couple of times - once I was fired by the big boss, and then he sent me down to my immediate supervisor, thinking it would be better “closure.” All it meant was that I had to wait for a later bus. Don’t even sent them to HR - have their check right there in your office. And don’t do what another place did - too cheap to pay me severance, they fired me but kept me on for two weeks to train the son of the new boss whose merger made me downsizable. No, I didn’t train him to fuck up - I taught him as much as I could, just to build equity on my karma.

The fact that you are asking this question tells me you probably won’t make the biggest mistake I’ve seen. I worked with one manager who consistently made firing people personal, and always insisted on having the last word. It’s not a debate, or even a dialogue. If you really had anything to discuss, you would still be trying to salvage that employee.

Remember, you aren’t doing an injustice to them, you are regretfully reacting to their behavior in the only way left to you. If they had left you with any alternative, either by doing their job in the first place, or cleaning up their act after you talked to them about it, neither of you would be in this position.

The best thing to do is make it quick, painless, and try to leave the employee with a little dignity.

Good luck.

Thanks for the comments so far. I’ve got a background in Human Resources (one of the seventy-eight careers I’ve had thus far), so the specific details of execution (no pun intended) are quite familiar. I’ve been part of the termination process, helping other supervisors through it; I’ve just never actually had to do it myself. So while the specific itemized tasks were easy and familiar, what was surprising to me was how emotionally difficult the whole thing was. Yes, it was deserved. Yes, it was expected by all involved. But making a nineteen-year-old-girl cry like a, well, nineteen-year-old-girl – that just plain sucked, sucked, sucked.

Says Cervix (uh…** Cervaise**)

If you do it right, there’ll only be the first time.

I can recall one young girl I had to fire years ago. She was so upset, crying and angry. Later that day, I got a call from her mom! She gave me an earfull and I politely explained my reasons and she hung up on me. I really felt terrible and not sure if I did the right thing.
Many years later, I saw her at a bar. We made eye contact and I hoped she wouldn’t recognize me. She got up, came over to me, and said that firing her was the one of the best things that ever happened to her! She told me it made her think about responsibility and maturity and to just plain grow up. I was blown away! She even bought me a drink.
Hope this story helps.

** Cervaise**- if it helps, the young woman who’d written $11,000 worth of bad checks on our company account cried, too. (the bank took the hit, they hadn’t followed their own procedures to cash the checks, and the sig was an obvious forgery)

But yes, it sucked too. Even when I knew I was right.

Oy. A year ago all I had to do was write somebody up, and I nearly cried I felt so bad.

Then a few months later I did it again and did myself a happy dance.

I am so mean.