I'm an impossibly dumb motherfucker

The BBQ Pit
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I left a shopping bag full of blank DVD-Rs and various other goodies, that I had been looking forward to using for weeks. I’d left it in my office, waiting for a night I’d have a light load to carry home, tonight was the night, I grabbed the heavy bag and took off, delighted that finally get the chance to record lots of DVDs.

While I was walking home, I felt like I had an unusually light load, but I was wearing my backpack, so I thought no more of it.

Now, watching TV, six hours later, I remembered what happened to those DVDs (a 50 pack)? Let’s see, you schlepped them to the subway, you got on the train…oh YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!

This is the kind of thing that just sticks with you for days, doesn’t it? I may end up getting cards printed "YOU

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…STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

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You can amuse yourself by picturing somebody putting every one of those DVDs in their computer looking for the porn.

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Don’t forget to check the subway lost-and-found. Some of us do turn in found objects for the owner to claim rather than snaffling them for our own use.

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Yup, I once bought a new pair of fancy running shoes, and promptly left them at the bus stop.

Someone returned them to the store after A WEEK.

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One time I left my cash card thing in the ATM. Somebody when to the Mall of America and managed quite a shopping spree in the two hours or so before I noticed.

Oh wait, wrong anecdote.

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Just this morning I withdrew £20.00 from an ATM and left the money in the slot. Random brainfarts like this happen to everyone from time to time.

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But you’re remarkably intelligent for a red salamander. :slight_smile:

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I lost a newspaper and a couple of blank floppy disks this way. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

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I’ve left my dinner on the bus once. I wonder if that driver enjoyed his two chilidogs.

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pseudotriton ruber ruber, you are one dumb sumbitch.

I say this because I’ve done the same sort of thing. The only thing I can really say in consolation is that, having done something this outrageously boneheaded the odds are really, really good you won’t ever do it again. At least, not for a long time.

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It could be worse.

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The OP just needs to start masturbating, like a…you know what.

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[sub]I once forgot to take my mom home Thanksgiving. Left her 120 miles away.[/sub]

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So you’re the one! I always wondered who it was.

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I had a moment of panic last night when I thought I had lost the pack of blank DVDs I had just bought. This morning I realized I had left them at work…

As far as ATMs go, I’ve found a few cards left in the ATM slot the past couple of years. Calling the # on the back to report it can be a real pain in the ass though - going through the menus, getting placed on hold(!!) when you’re just trying to help someone out, etc. So now I just cut them up and trash them to make sure they don’t fall into the wrong hands.

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My family loves to tell of the time my mother went grocery shopping, came home, unpacked everything, and then realized she left my then-four-year-old brother in the supermarket.

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I almost got left behind at a park when I was about that age.

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I’m sure that was very unintentional on your parents’ part.

Reminds me of how my father tried to teach me to swim. Every day he’d row out to the middle of the lake and toss me out of the boat.

The hardest part was getting out of the sack.

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You had a sack??? Why, back in my day …