Hey, faithfool, I’m going to also tell you not to listen to veritas3d. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having to draw strength from others sometimes.
It’s good that you’re fighting despair. Keeping in contact with your doctor and therapist along with your ex is a good thing. At least you’re not wallowing in your own self-pity.
When I get depressed I’ll have to stop pitying myself and remember that you have it much worse than me. I find it admirable that you’re doing something about it.
I doubt he’s trying to use her pain. I’m sure he’s convinced he’s giving good advices. He’s just completely clueless…
Don’t stay in that cave too long, you’re fun! 
…are you OK?
-from the always-too-late guy
First thing I thought of.
Initial rant aside, this thread has taken a turn away from Pit fodder. I’m moving it to MPSIMS. The OP isn’t mundane nor pointless, but it’s not really an invitation to rant or flame either.
Off to gentler climes…
Veb
Morning, faithfool! I brought blueberry muffins. How are you feeling today?
Just a quick reminder now that TVeblen’s moved this thread and Cajun Man and I own (own!) it: you’re in MPSIMS territory now, so no insulting other posters, please. Criticize what they say all you like, but leave out the personal criticisms.
faithfool, You don’t have to respond to this if you don’t want to, but I’ve never lived in a trailer or known anyone who lived in a trailer, and I’m curious.
How did you come to live in a trailer?
What do you like about living in a trailer? What do you not like?
Do you have trouble controlling the amount of stuff you accumulate, or does that come natural to you, or is it even a problem?
Do you worry about tornadoes?
{{{faithfool}}}
Welcome, Earthing Continuity Resistance!
Precisely. The thing about being depressed or phobic is that you know that you shouldn’t be feeling depressed, or that you shouldn’t be afraid of whatever it is, but that knowledge doesn’t make the depression or fear go away. Being unable to talk yourself out of it is almost as bad as the feelings themselves for some of us. This is the thing that so many people who don’t have this kind of mental health problems just don’t understand.
Well, with the help of my Prince, I made it through the night and nothing too bizarre, besides my typical dreams, happened. I’m sorry I forgot to log back on and let you all know I was alright, but by the time I got back home, I was so exhausted that I just collapsed into bed and went instantly (!!) to sleep. Anyhows…
Talon Karrde: Thank you. I know it seems I keep saying that a lot, but y’all have no idea how much your help has meant to me. Really, I don’t know if yesterday/last night would have been tolerable if I didn’t have the SDMB. And just remember this, one’s own hell can feel completely and totally larger than all of life. Mine may be bad, but others have it much, much worse. Yet none of that matters when we are. right. there. right. then. Just keep trying, relying on the positives that you can and questioning. Least, I hope that’s what I’m doing because I honestly don’t want to get on a “poor pitiful me” kick.
clairobscur: Agreed.
, says the adorable Tonya. You are too. 
Hermie: I think so. Muchos gracias for the email.
Veb and Skip: Sorry about the thread placement. I really wanted to let rip and allow others to do the same (even at me), if it would help. I’m without a doubt a supporter of the less-fluffy, no-holds-barred, tell-'em-to-kiss-your-ass Pit. I had no intention of making it all sunshine and roses (although you can’t imagine how glad I am that I’ve gotten such wonderful replies) and if I should have placed it here instead, mea culpa. Thank you for moving it and next time (God I hope there isn’t one), I’ll email a moderator in advance to find out my best course of action. You guys do such good work.
ivylass: Hi again. It’s really, really nice to see you here this morning. For some reason, it makes me think that there are redeeming features to mankind and that I should stick around (despite what Mr. Katie Holmes opines).
Anne Neville: Lands a 10! It is exactly like that, which does indeed make it harder. I know all of this is sheer lunacy, yet I can’t make it stop, regardless of what I attempt. Especially in one that’s off the charts; it registers like a 9 on the Richter scale. The rest are just meh. I can simply ignore them and pretend they’ve never existed. But the catastrophes?
::: shudder :::
I only hope that each time, I learn and adapt more, making any subsequent problems more likely to be dealt with rationally, calmly and intelligently. Oh, and sanely too.
I thought this deserved a post unto itself (or I just want to purge more, whichever)…
After all everyone here has done, I’d be more than happy to answer how many times nature calls in a day, my shoe size and whether or not I cheated on my first grade spelling final.
After beating, for the most part, the agoraphobia, I wanted to get back out on my own and quit fucking up my ex’s life. At that point though, I still didn’t have a job, so almost anything reasonable for others (like an efficiency apartment) would be out of the question for me. Living in a travel trailer as a place of residence doesn’t require any regular home owner taxes. Plus, you can find them ungodly dirt cheap (which has been true of my much older model) and the rental lot fee, at least in East Texas, is next to nothing. Here I pay what would roughly equate to $100 a month.
[QUOTE]
What do you like about living in a trailer?
[QUOTE]
It’s easy to manage for someone who isn’t very accustomed any longer to dealing with daily reality. Not much to make a mess of. And despite the fact that I’m claustrophobic, I like living in close quarters, so that’s a huge plus for me. It’s similar to playing out a real life fantasy in your own doll house.
[QUOTE]
What do you not like?
[QUOTE]
I’d like something a little more permanent to decorate. Because I currently have a shabby chic motif going on (due to it being all I can afford and giving off an air of intimacy/homeyness) and it easily equates to clutter. Also, I’d like a few more conveniences than my fifth wheel allows. Washer and dryer, more closet space and a bedroom where your head doesn’t hit the ceiling every single time you sit up.
Other than all that though, it’s bliss. My little slice of heaven. I do love it and could, if need be, stay in it forever. However, I’d prefer a (wait for it)… single wide.
[QUOTE]
o you have trouble controlling the amount of stuff you accumulate, or does that come natural to you, or is it even a problem?
[QUOTE]
Oh God yes. I’m one of those who like ‘neato’ stuff. Well, if it’s under a buck. Therefore, I could accumulate enough crap to make the Winchester House look amateur. With distinctly less room available, it cuts down on that a lot. The flip side is, sometimes you opt to find more ways to wedge and cram and push things in. A flea market in a closet might give a good impression of what I’m always verging on.
Unfortunately. Since I’m deathly afraid of them, I worry about those wherever I am. So I’m thinking it’s a trade off and the benefits far outweigh me having to run for cover in a nearby drainage ditch.
Hope that helps. If you want to know more (or are merely asking out of the goodness of your heart to keep me engaged), I’d be happy to prattle on. Endlessly, probably.
Thanks once more everyone.
faithfool, I’m too late to offer assistance in the acute portion of your distress, but I am here to say that I really enjoy your contributions to discussions that I’ve read. I like the way you think, except when you think bad things about yourself!
I’m glad that you got the rest you needed. I know that when I’m at my lowest insomnia is easy to fall into. And if you wanna play pissing contests with weird, disturbing dreams I can offer some of my winners, if you like. If you don’t, I certainly won’t insist. Some of them really bother me. But I do know how bad dreams can make one get to the point that actively avoiding sleep seems like a good idea.
I hope you’re doing better today.
Well??
Did you cheat on your first grade spelling final?
Inquiring minds want to know!
And did you cheat and get caught like this?
Hi! Month long lurker, 1736th time poster.
I’m almost physically incapable of not giving advice I think is necessary, so here goes. Since you did originally put his in the Pit I hope you won’t mind a friendly kick in the butt now that you’re coming around.
I hope you make this episode something significant, ie Make this the LAST time you are caught unawares by your mood-sink. You’ve had them before, you say you can sense them coming to some degree. Next time don’t delude yourself- take action! In many cases medication can be adjusted to shorten episodes or prevent a full blown one. Talk to your MD when you feel it coming.
Also next time you feel it coming increase exercise and healthy eating. Whether you feel like it or not. Both have been shown to have positive effects on clinical depression. At the very least you’ll have higher energy stores for your slug period.
Some lucky epileptics either learn to sense oncoming attacks or have a companion dog who can. These ones are able to drive because they know when to pull over. Make a plan and stick to it: you are the one whose going to drive your life, not your mood swings.
Good luck. I hope you take this in the positive way it was meant. I doubt we have similar tastes in depression fighting activities so I’ll skip that bit.
I just wanted to drop back in with an update and a heartfelt thank you to everyone who offered their best wishes and, in some cases, a much needed swift kick in the ass. I’m very grateful for it all and have done a lot of thinking on what needs to change in my behavior patterns. Apparently, my next therapy session will be rife with discussion of my plans for further advancement of my road to mental wellness.
As to what’s going on with me now… let’s just say the fog has lifted once more and I’m joyfully functioning like a real, honest-to-Og, person. I’m thrilled just to be as close to normal as I can get for the moment and that’s where I’m at.
Count me as doing the Snoopy Happy Dance. You guys, and this community in general, rocks.
faithfool WELCOME BACK! I’m sorry to have arrived here only today but see many have been there for you. Hang tough and I’m glad to see it.
Nic
Yay! Way to go faithfool!