I’m budding, and I don’t mean that I’m growing into a better person or blossoming into womanhood, what I mean is that I’m budding in the biological sense that a new organism is being formed from a protrusion on my back. At first I thought it was a zit and I was looking foward to popping it with great zeal once a good head had formed. Alas it has grown to such titanic proportions that I dare not pop out of fear that it will take it’s revenge on me. Besides, it’s forming up quite nicely and I’m pretty sure I see the beginnings of a face. Leigh doesn’t believe me but I can swear the little bastard winked at me.
I would have named the little tyke Bud, because I don’t get very creative with names, but that is the nickname of our dog Buddy. I don’t want to coo “hey Bud” at my new child only to have my dog run up to me expecting a treat or a pet. No, I fear my new child and would not wish to draw his jealous attention towards my dog lest he harm poor Buddy. Marc Jr., would seem to be a fine name, I’ve certainly been called a flaming boil on the ass of life many times, but since this new growth isn’t on my ass I don’t think I shall share my Christian name with it. So I have decided to name him Priam, for I hope to fervently catch him in his sleep and strike him down with a sword or another pointed object, I only have to bide my time.
Already I hear him mewling for food. My word, they grow up so fast; don’t they?
You know, it’s been a while since we had one of these threads. I think we’re going to clamor for pictures soon.
By the way, I had a zit on my ass that woke me up in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago. That’s right, Miss Squash, be turned on. Be VERY turned on.
“Yes, the story about a fetus growing on a woman’s back and then becoming a four foot Indian ripping his way out of a tumor the size of basketball stretches the line of credibility. This pint-sized spirit has amazing powers as he can literally freeze an entire hospital ward, call forth the devil himself, and take the skin off of people’s bodies through his mind.”
You’ll be happy to know that little Priam turned out to be a homunculus, a creature that’s identical to me except that he’s 12 inches high. Now if only I could find out where he ran off to.
You never should have let him see that E*Bay posting:
“For Sale: MGibson homunculus action figure. Comes with GI Joe weapons, He-Man sword and slightly used Malibu Barbie. Extra Barbie dresses not included.”
It was just a really big zit as it’s completely gone now that I’ve popped it. I was astounded by the sheer immensity of it and I just felt the need to log on and share it with all of you.
No, I’m not a Full Metal Alchemist fan, but you don’t play Dungeons and Dragons for as long as I have without learning what a holunculus is.
I have a small fingerlike structure protruding from my lower back. What is it doing there? Nothing much, so far as I have been able to discern. However, it’s not in a position where I can observe it directly with any degree of fine detail, so it could be doing weird stuff all the time and I’d have no idea.
Vestigial organ? Specialized anatomical structure designed to activate under conditions of extreme environmental duress? Could I be the forerunner of a new, more highly evolved human race? If so, humanity’s legacy may be in dire jeopardy, because I am just not getting the amount of loving necessary to sustain the species.
