Your name isn’t Hotblack Desiato, is it? If so, you won’t be resolving the problem for a while…
Always nice to see another Robot Chicken fan! 
A library refused to take my card because their computer said I’d been dead for over a year. At the time, I was tripping hard on LSD…so I believed them. :eek:
(Come to think, I never did return to that library…)
Discover continued to renew my grandmother’s card for several years after she died despite several gentle reminders.
Wait.
Clothahump, are you my grandma?
My secretary’s husband got reported dead. He’d been collecting Social Security for a while, and someone reported him dead to the SS. They froze my secretary’s bank accounts (because they were joint accounts with her husband) because they wanted their money back since the dead guy kept collecting checks after he died.
We did the usual “you sure he’s still alive?” jokes, but she had to take a couple days off to go with him to the SS office and get them to recognize he’s still alive.
What a twist!
Can you tell us anything about the afterlife? waits expectantly
Did it, uh, hurt?
I call dibs on his kidneys.
Just think…at your funeral, you can pull a Wildest Bill!
“Gotcha Ya!”
… what a twist! (indeed!)
The downside to all of this is that you’ll never be able to tell Tales, EVER again.
At least for a year. But he can still work.
Tell Warren Zevon I said hi if you run into him in the afterlife.
HELLO, CLOTHAHUMP…
Did you at least get reach-around with that?
EWWWWWWWWW!!!
I knew car salesmen were pretty much lowlives but I never knew they’d stoop to necrophilia! BLECCH!!!
On the other hand - drive that car any way you like - no seatbelts, speed, whatever. I mean, it’s not like you can die in a car wreck now, right?
You can do anything you like now. You can’t be sentenced to death because you’re already dead and they can’t give you life in jail. Then again, if you’re dead and they give you life you would then be alive…
Maybe you can travel. The Dead Sea, Death Valley. Tour with that band that Jerry Garcia used to belong to (can’t remember their name). Come to Chicago because you will still be eligible to vote.
I totally agree with the wake. Get dead drunk, and listen to the eulogies. Have someone else clean up afterwards (you’ll be dead tired).
Lay low for a couple of days (I suggest three), then come back and start your own religion.
It wasn’t a library. It was a Taco Bell.
I was dead once, for 20 minutes, in the 90’s. Turns out the bank dude had entered my SSN wrong. Have you checked your credit yourself?