I just found out that I’m dead. I apparently didn’t get the memo. <checks pulse>
I splurged over the weekend and bought a new car. I mean new, as in all of 37 miles on the speedometer. Only the third new car I’ve ever had in my entire life. Turns out the Saturn dealer has a helluva good finance guy, because he got an 11% rate for a dead guy.
Yep, two of the major credit bureaus are reporting me as being deceased. Which actually opens up new avenues for me:
o I can be a guest star in the Dead Like Me movie.
o I can be the star if they do a sequel to Dead Man Walking. They can call it Dead Man Kicking.
o I’ll never again catch my death of cold.
o Every night is The Night Of The Living Dead, and Halloween is really going to be fun this year!
What other suggestions do y’all have for a dead guy?
Get a copy of your credit report and find out which account has reported you as deceased. Then try to get them to change it. It’s relatively uncommon, but not unheard of for this to happen. Usually it is because one single creditor messed up their records and reported to the bureau(s) that they report to. Sounds like this one reports to 2 out of the 3. I’ve obtained financing for “dead” people before, and it usually only takes a call to the finance company and some extra documentation.
And YAY! Another Saturn owner! Welcome to the Family. What did you get?
Eat your wife’s pie that she made special for her group. She would have killed you if you weren’t dead already.
Wear plaids with checks.
Oh wait, you wouldn’t even catch me dead wearing that.
11%?!? You got fucked, dude.
He’s dead…they’ll have to go after his estate if they want anything…better get rid of your assets while you still can.
Everybody knows that Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid.
OTOH, being dead means you don’t have to pay taxes, doesn’t it?
And here I thought this was going to be a thread by one of the people who got killed in the Straight Dope Mafia game. (Way too into this game.)
Sniff, anybody smell dead turtle?
What happened, a spell backfire or something?
Maybe Ned, from “Pushing Daisies” can help you, he has the same writer and creator as “Dead Like Me”.
Make sure to take a couple of “dead days” from work, too.
Call up HR, to make sure you still get paid for them, of course.
Talk to your life insurance company - ask them when they’re going to be paying out.
Call the local police station, ask them what laws apply to dead persons.
Call the local weekly paper, and ask them if they want to do an interview for your obituary.
Announce a wake, and charge admission - then do a reenactment of Finnegan’s Wake and dance all through the party.
Call up Random House, ask them what they’ll pay for your memoirs now that you’re dead and still articulate.
Call up the White House and tell them that you need to talk the Dalai Lama, since you’re dead and still around - so you need expert help.
No, the only thing that are certain is death AND taxes. He still owes.
Dude, what better excuse for a party than YOUR OWN DAMN WAKE? You better wake up wishing you were dead. I envy you.
I have no idea, but you’re not getting my brains.
This was the first I heard of the Dead Like Me movie, and I’m actually excited because I really liked the series. I hope it gets enough attention to get picked up again, but I’m not holding my breath.
I also wanted to say that I love love love my (used) Saturn SC-2, from its light weight to the 3rd door that opens the other way. It having the best clutch I’ve ever had the pleasure to experience doesn’t hurt either. Now it’s 6000 miles away, and I miss its loving black embrace.
Before you died, did you have a good credit rating? How about they guy with your name who they think is dead? Did he have a good credit rating?
About the 11%… man, I bet they didn’t use any lube, either, huh? That’s gotta hurt.
Hey, people this is a Zombie thread. I’ll report it for closure.
So, how would a zombie go about getting closure? Going up to his bereft family and telling them, “BRAAAAAAIIINS”?