I'm dumping my life and starting a new one. ACK!

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

A few weeks ago I had a moment when I realized that my sucktastic job wasn’t going to get any better, ever. So I marched upstairs to my supervisor’s office and resigned.

Oh Shit.

Fast forward to a great interview at a job I think I would love. They want to meet me for a followup, which is great right? All is well except that the job is in a different state. If I’m lucky enough to get it and accept the position I will have to very quickly pack up a 20 year life and move to a different state. Not to mention travel just for the follow up meeting.

I like to consider myself an intelligent, fairly sophisticated woman, but I have no idea how to manage the logistics of this new life I seem to have created for myself. I’ve never done anything like this before.

The idea of getting a job so quickly is obviously a relief, but on the other hand I haven’t had a vacation in 7 years and I’d really like some time to relax, travel up and find a place, then move my stuff and relax some more before I put my nose back to the grindstone. I can’t even imagine how to make all of that happen when they’re looking for someone to start asap.

I get that I’m in a very lucky place, but I’m still freaking out. Any advice would be appreciated on interstate moving, taking an out of state job, or whatever. Just help me calm down and get my head around this.

#2

every time I make a switch I go through a similar panic. It always turns out OK.

I am about to make a move myself. I’m bored with my job and my life and I am searching for the “next big thing” in my life. Whatever that may be.

Good luck!

#3

If you get the job (and fingers crossed that you do), tell the new employer you need a few weeks to pack and move. Because you do. There’s no job that has to be filled today. If the position is vacant now, it can stay vacant til you start.

As far as starting a new life, I think it’s great. Fresh beginnings are so clean. And you can totally reinvent yourself. I’ve done it twice and loved it both times.

#4

You can do it! At age 35 I moved my whole life from Michigan to Charleston, SC and it’s a shame I didn’t do it a decade earlier. You’ll want to cull your belongings well before you need to pack and it will do you a world of good to go to the new area and meet some people. Are there any groups (professional, spiritual, hobbyist) that you belong to that has a branch where your new job might be? Contact them before you interview and take some time to meet up when you’re there, even if it’s only for a few minutes. It will make for a softer landing to have some numbers to call just in case.
I’m so excited for you! What area are you leaving and where might you be going?

#5

You need to decide how much time you need to make this transition in your life. Part of “asap” is the “p” and they know that. Depending on the level of the job, the new employer will have been trying for some time to fill the position and is not going to move past the right candidate for a two week or so delay in the start date. You can always couch it in needing to give your current employer adequate notice (assuming you did not mention you had quit…). You might also (or instead, if you get the sense that a delay is impossible) mention that you have a commitment to a set of vacation dates later in the summer–that way you get teh vacation you need and they get the start date.

Again, depending on the level of the job, you may get relocation assistance–in any case you should ask about it. (Remember, if you look out for yourself, they have every reason to believe you will also look out for your new company–so it’s not “pushy” to ask.) If you are not at the level where relo expenses are paid (maybe this was stated up front, even), they may at least hook you up with their relo people, who can give you contacts at a moving company, name of a trusted real estate agent who can help you find a place, the names of trusted service providers (dentist, GP doctor, hair stylist, etc.). All of this can at least reduce the stress of the move, if not even defray the cost to you, while costing the new employer nothing.

#6

I also know one person that did a big relocation like this, and he started the job immediately but for 3 days a week (T-W-T) for the first few weeks. That gave him plenty of weekend and weekday time to look for a place, deal with banks and insurance, etc. I don’t know how common this is, but if it’s been done once, it can be done again, and it can’t hurt to ask!

Good luck with everything!

#7

Thanks so much for the good wishes. I have family in the area, but it would be an imposition to surf their couch although I’m sure they’d say it was fine. It’s a very small place and they are buying a house so they’re in the middle of major upheaval as well. No young man wants his mother-in-law moving into his living room while he’s trying to buy and move into a new house no matter how nice he might pretend to be about it.

Also it’s a town I lived in myself before I came here 20-some years ago, so I feel confident that I can find the services I need, make friends etc., and I have a property manager ready to show me apartments when I come up. Maybe that sounds like I have things well in hand, but remember I haven’t moved in decades and I’m not sure how it works anymore. Will he drive me around like a real estate agent does? Can I rent something the same day I see it? It would make me feel less stressed to just rent something from afar but I know that’s a bad idea. Also I’ve heard so many horror stories about movers taking your stuff hostage for huge unexpected fees and I have no idea how to manage actually getting my stuff up there.

The advice about asking for flexibility on the start date is really helpful. It hadn’t occurred to me that this would be a possibility but of course it can’t hurt to ask.

I really wish I could blink my eyes and just be there already.

#8

Where you moving to?

#9

Oregon :slight_smile:

#10

Some things to consider:

  • Get a storage unit at your new location so you can carry stuff on each trip. (Most apartments are going to have to pull your references and credit history, so you probably won’t get a same-day apartment. Often, they’re showing apartments that aren’t available till the begining of the next month)

  • Talk to the local Post Office, explain your situation, see if you can mail reasonably sized boxes to your name at general delivery for them to hold for pickup. (I send ‘critical’ things to the new location this way – e.g. documents, recent bank records, stuff I want insured) – I once had my cargo container washed off ship and learned the hard way to NOT put anything critical with shippers.

  • You can move (port) your current land-line phone number over to a cell phone (look at pre-paid tracfones) so that can ease the transistion. There is not cost to port the number beyond the cost of the phone and minutes.

Good luck with the move. This is a nice time of year to be moving

#11

Congratulations and good luck at your next interview! I promise if you do make this move, you’ll be fine. See if you can get the new company to help with the relocation, if they do hire you.

In any case, the most important thing is finding a community in your new home. Hopefully your coworkers and neighbors will be awesome. And also if you are religious, or you have a hobby that can be done in a group, this can be a nice way to meet people. Maybe make a Dopefest thread for the area as well, once you are there?

#12

I am curious. What was the sucktastic job with no vacations? It sounds soul destroying.

#13

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#14

This is awesome.

You are courageous.

#15

It was my dream job until my really great boss retired and his replacement turned out to be a backstabbing evil queen. It went from everyone is in this together and isn’t it great that they pay us to do this, to the worst of office politics and stealing all my good ideas while blaming me for every mistake that anyone made in the entire organization. The vacation thing was a problem because whenever I wanted to take one it was “just a really busy time right now” and I let that go on for much too long.

#16

Second the motion that you should rent a storage unit.

Lemme tell you about some moves I did. Not interstate, not even that far in-state. Four hour driving time (one-way). But a couple weeks before the move, I rented a storage unit. Then, at my leisure and at my convenience, I move most of my stuff there, keeping out only items that I really felt I would need to keep on hand.

On moving day, I loaded up my car with those on-hand items (it was just one carload) and drove them to my new place and moved in.

Then, in the following several weeks, again at my leisure, I drove back to the storage place and picked up the rest of my stuff. This took 4 or 5 round trips of one car-load each, done over several weeks. I thought the scheme worked very well, and 4 years later I repeated the plan on my next move.

Now, in my cases, those moves were each just about 4 hours drive (one-way). In both cases, I rented a storage place about half way. So each round trip from old apartment to storage, and then from new apartment to storage, took about 4 hours.

Those logistics wouldn’t work the same for your inter-state case – but consider it. Perhaps you can come with some variation on that scheme that will work for you. The idea is to spread out your move over several weeks, that you can do a little at a time, at your convenience, without having too long a job to do in any one day (like, for example, an 8 hour two-way drive I would have had without that half-way storage place).

#17

Lucky you. I’m planning to do this next year, make a move. I’m heading out west, I’m still a long ways away from retirement, but I know where I want to retire and it’s near the Canadian Rockies.

#18

We used PODS for our last move. I highly recommend them, especially if you can pack them at your leisure AND have family at the other end to unpack them.

#19

You can do it! I have moved cross country several times, and it always somehow works out, you know? Just take it one thing at a time.

I used U Pack it for my last move. They drop off the trailer and you pack, using as much room as you need. Then they pick it up and drive it.

Yay for new beginnings!

#20

Whereabouts?