Recently I was making a long series of repetitive cuts with a large table saw. After several hours I went to remove the workpiece before the blade stopped spinning. Stopped a spinning 10 inch rip blade with my thumb.
Fortunately the blade was **almost **stopped and the blood didn’t fly too far. Was able to get by with several butterfly bandaids for a few weeks while it healed. Another 3 or 4 seconds earlier and my thumb would have been flying across the shop.
I kinda want to do that with my sunscreen next summer now (on my back, not my face, and just tanned, not burned in).
Precautionary warning - not that I’ve ever done this myself - no sireee.
Don’t fry up bacon in the nude.
Just saying!
Now that you mention, I think an old boyfriend may have learned this lesson once frying up puri.
Not my story, but one that never fails to get a wince. It’s all in the delivery…
Friend of mine’s dad played football in high school, and the coach wasn’t a real smart man when it came to injuries. ‘Walk it off’ was the usual answer to anything. Anyway, friend’s dad, during a scrimmage, gets his leg sliced open by the cleats of another player. Coach sends him home, telling him to keep pressure on the cut and make sure he gets it all clean when he gets home.
Well, he gets home, and thinks that maybe a wound this long / deep might need something more than just water to clean it.
Hey! Bleach cleans real well…
This one actually freaks the hell out of me. I read an interview in the Hartford Advocate a few years back with a young lady who described how her fiancee bled to death in front of her, having just fallen into the glass coffee table. Holy crapulence. 
I did this. Only, it was at a RenFaire, I was wearing a wench costume, and instead of pawprints on my face, it was a dragon’s tail going down into my cleavage.
Damn tan lines lasted months.
I went to my grandfather’s house one day, and he proudly showed me his new Ginsu knife.
“I wonder if it’s as sharp as they say it is,” I said skeptically, running my thumb down the blade.
I quickly learned the answer. Yes. Yes, it’s a sharp as they say it is. My mother was standing right next to me; when I showed her the gaping cut she rolled her eyes and said, “I hope you’re not expecting sympathy!”
Do you always need to touch the paint to see if the sign is accurate, too, Marlitharn? 
(Your mom and my mom went to the same school of mothering, I see.)
That’s why you drag wide edge of the blade across the ridges of your thumb (IOW, you drag it perpendicular to how you would if you were trying to cut). Or, better yet, fold a piece of paper and try to cut that.
I superglued my pinky finger to the tip of my nose once. Two weeks later I superglued my thumb to it.
Stop picking your nose while repairing small objects!
I wasn’t, I swear! It was just itchy.
I decided to use a steak knife to pry something up. The surgery went well and both the tendon and nerve were fixed although I do still have some deadness in the tip of the finger. The anesthesiologist found it quite challenging to work around my six month pregnancy.
It was kind of hard to tie my shoes for a few weeks.
Are you my fiancee???
Not looking forward to dealing with that come move-out time…
Oh, sure, NOW you tell me.
Hey that reminds me of another one. When I was 18 or 19 I was trying join the Airforce. I went to take the MEPS test and the doctor said I had a wax build up in my ear that I needed to get cleared so they could do a pressure test if I wanted a posting that flew in any way. So I went home and was thinking “So self.” because that’s what I called myself then. “What would you use to clean off wax? Rubbing alcohol would work right? Brilliant!” So I put some rubbing alcohol on a q-tip and went to work. :eek: AAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!! It burned a little bit (meaning a whole lot). It seems rubbing alcohol is not very nice to the skin of the inner ear. After flushig the ear out with water I realized I couldn’t hear out of that ear so I made a doctors appt. It seemed the rubbing alcohol+flushing the ear managed to melt the way and close off the ear canal completely. The doctor flushed it out and I was able to hear again.
That was over 20 years ago and that ear is still sensitive to cold breezes.
I was lucky that I chose not to just flush it out with rubbing alcohol which was how I planned on using it at first.
Jeeze, didn’t one of your parents ever pour hydrogen peroxide into your ear as a kid?
It only cost me a couple of knife tips to learn not to use knives to pry stuff. I keep a screwdriver (and hammer) in my kitchen now.
So, I went bowling by myself. And the ball somehow got stuck just before it reached the “rack” (where you usually pick it up). But I could see it was stuck just inside the hole. I thought “Hey, it’s easy to get it: just nudge it with your hand and it will get unstuck”.
I was able to get it moving again. Unfortunately my hand was still there, so this time it got stuck because my hand didn’t allow it to get out and the machine still was trying to roll it out. I was lucky, though, an attendant helped me out and I didn’t even get a bruise!