I'm Getting Really Worried Now...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I have three stories, one happened to me, one happened to my brother, and the third happened to a patient at a hospital I worked at.

When I was two or three, my mom had made us kids scrambled eggs for breakfast. She went to answer the phone or something and while she wasn’t looking, I guessed I stuffed a rather large amount of eggs into both of my ears. She got most of it out, but still ended up taking me to the doctor to get the rest out.

Along the same lines, when my brother was about two, he stuck one of those pegs from the Battleship game up into his nose, so far up that she had to take him to the ER to get it extracted.

Finally, I typed a report on a female patient who apparently, while engaging in sexual intercourse with her boyfriend on top of a pool table, somehow got the eight ball stuck up inside her vagina. I’m still trying to figure out that one.

Shadowfox
“We are what we pretend to be.”

  • Kurt Vonnegut
22

Cristi—

“Any change yet?”

23

I read an article in the paper about a grown man who woke up with terrible noises “in his head” and was deaf in one ear. Over several days, the deafness spread to his other ear, and he went a little nuts. Finally, we went to the doctor and they pulled a cricket (or a grasshopper) out of his ear. His hearing and sanity returned shortly afterword.

24

That’s one pocket I’d never think of putting it in.