Guess I missed that detail.
[Emily Litella]
Nevermind…
[/Emily Litella]
Change of plans… I got someone to go with me but we have to go to the 7:45 at the Hoffman 22 in Alexandria…
Only 30 minutes until turkey time!!!
Sorry, but in that case I’m out of this. I can’t get there by then.
Just think – if you hurry, you can see it twice! I wouldn’t think there are too many trailers in the front screwing up your two hour running time. Gives ya ten whole minutes to make it to the later time. And a film as fine as this certainly deserves such devotion.
You mean like Jeremy Irons in the Dungeons and Dragons movie?
tramp’s been in there for over an hour now…
I’m worried. When should we call out the search and rescue team?
(And if you make it out alive, then for God’s sakes, man, did you at least pay for something respectable?)
Okay, I can’t sit by on the sidelines while y’all throw yourselves on a grenade like this.
I’m going to throw myself on the Gigli grenade tonight, too.
The one-and-only showing of Gigli in the town where I live is at 9:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time, which is an hour-and-a-half from now. I’ve read the Mr. Cranky review (he ONLY gave it 4 bombs?), so I’m as prepared as I’ll ever be.
No, no, no!
Remember the first rule of rescue – you never do anything that will put more people in jeopardy.
Send in a rescue team and that will be all the more bodies to clean up after their heads explode.
Well, I sat all the way through it. And my head didn’t explode or anything.
This wasn’t so much a bad movie as just a dumb movie. Ben Affleck – who I am going to call B-Fleck in honor of The Onion’s infographic about his engagement to J-Lo a couple months ago – plays a dumb thug who tries to act cool. His script was written by that character in Douglas Adams’ Life, the Universe, and Everything who won the Award for the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word “Fuck” in a Serious Screenplay. J-Lo, on the other hand, plays a good-looking holier-than-thou diva for whom everything goes her way and who pussy-whips B-Fleck within 5 seconds of meeting him.
In other words, they played themselves. Except that the scriptwriters also tried to make J-Lo’s character smart and witty. Oh, and the two of them have to take care of an actor who does a pretty dismal job of pretending to be a retarded guy. Or a guy with Tourette’s Syndrome. Or an autistic guy. They didn’t really say. Anyway, said badly-acted mentally-deficient character’s goal in life seems to be to visit Baywatch and to listen to the automated weather reporting lady from England on the phone.
I think the main reason the movie bombed so badly was that it got practically NO advertising leading up to its opening weekend. The studio should rectify this situation by blasting the airwaves with advertising slogans like this:
“Gigli – It’s Not Quite As Bad As Battlefield Earth!”
Anybody else feeling just a wee bit concerned that we haven’t heard back from Tramp yet?
He’s probably still throwing up.
She… SHE!
Oh good lord. Oh good merciful lord…
I have to get groceries right now but I will be back to this thread a little later to review the festering pile of crap Gigli was.
Sorry, tramp, for the gender mangling.
Two reviews for Gigli are now up on Bad Movie Night:
http://www.hit-n-run.com/cgi/read_review.cgi?review=53631_mccartney
http://www.hit-n-run.com/cgi/read_review.cgi?review=53631_rogermw
Oh, and one observation both of those movies neglect to mention:
There’s one scene where a minor character slits her wrists. Thing is, she slits them sideways. Everybody knows you’re supposed to slit your wrists vertically, with the cuts going from just below the wrist down toward your elbow! Duh!
tracer, does this movie strike you as being the sort of movie that would be about people who know jack shit about anything, much less human anatomy?
Well, there was the whole Penis vs. Vagina debate.
… which proved my personal hypothesis that, in this relationship, Ben Affleck is a big pussy.
Where’s Tramp’s review??? The suspense is killing me!
Tramp? TRAMP? TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP?