I'm gonig to destroy the Earth. Which method should I choose?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

"Destroying the Earth"

The Effect:

Before your audience’s eyes, you destroy the Earth!

You will need:

–A handkerchief

–Two paper clips

–A rubber band

–The Earth

This trick takes a bit of preparation. First, cut the rubber band and tie one paper clip to each end. Attach one paper clip to the inside of your shirt cuff (long sleeves are necessary for this trick!) and hold the other paper clip discreetly between your thumb and forefinger. Now you are ready to destroy the Earth!

During casual conversation, announce to your friends that you have the power to destroy the Earth. Show them the Earth, and invite them to examine it closely. Then cover the Earth with a handkerchief. *As you do this, secretly lift one edge of the Earth and attach the other paper clip to it. * (Practice this in front of the mirror first.) Pull the handkerchief away, and at the same time let go of the paper clip. The rubber band will snap backward, pulling the Earth up your sleeve and out of your audience’s view! Done quickly enough, it will appear as though the Earth has really been magically “destroyed” in front of their very eyes!

22

[QUOTE=blinkingblinking]
what is a gonig?
[/QUOTE]

A typo for Going of course. Geesh, RU nu 2 teh internets oar sumthang?

23

[QUOTE=What Exit?]
A typo for Going of course. Geesh, RU nu 2 teh internets oar sumthang?
[/QUOTE]

Are you new to this message board? Most people check spelling on this board.

I thought ‘gonig’ might be some strange weapon for destroying the earth or a mutant gonad (which may be able to destroy the earth).

24

Sandpaper. Be sure to start with the coarse grit, or it will take forever.

25

Don’t be a piker.

26

I’d increase the Earth’s spin by 10% everyday with some sort of modified gravity wave thingy.

It’s always best if they see it coming but can’t do anything about it. How evil of me.

27

[QUOTE=Mindfield]
It needs to be done with some pizazz
[/QUOTE]
OMG, it would *totally *RULE if you destroyed the earth with pizzas!

You’re the coolest evil overlord ever! :smiley:

C’mon, I can’t be the only person who mis-read that, surely?

28

Give the humans weapons of mass destruction. They will destroy it themselves, the sods. Muahaha.

29

Giant (I mean like the size of Jupiter) robots dressed like the Harlem Globetrotters. They show up, grab the Earth do all kinds of crazy tricks with it, and then slam dunk it into a black hole.

Or, a giant Babe Ruth robot to bat it out of the solar system (pointing to the point in the cosmos where it’s going to hit the Earth, first, of course).

Finally, a giant John Holmes robot that fucks the Earth into tiny pieces.

30

Activate underwater volcanoes, letting all the lava out of the centre of the earth, then the world will deflate, and the seas will cover all the land except my secret base at the top of Everest.

31

Always keep an eye out forthe exotic longshot.

32

[QUOTE=Tuckerfan]
Giant (I mean like the size of Jupiter) robots dressed like the Harlem Globetrotters. They show up, grab the Earth do all kinds of crazy tricks with it, and then slam dunk it into a black hole.
[/quote]

Ooh! Now that would be dazzling! Except for two things:

  1. What would they bounce the Earth on?
  2. In space, no one can hear you whistle Sweet Georgia Brown.
    P.S. I am Gonig. Weren’t you paying attention?
33

[QUOTE=Antinor01]
You could always just schedule an intergalactic bypass to be built. You’ve got to build bypasses you know.
[/QUOTE]

Nuts.
Beaten to the punch.
:::::Shakes fist:::::: Curse you, Antinor!

:smiley:

34

[QUOTE=What Exit?]
A typo for Going of course. Geesh, RU nu 2 teh internets oar sumthang?
[/QUOTE]

BAD! BAD! BAD What Exit? No makee l33tspeak on the carpet! BAD! :stuck_out_tongue:

:smiley:

35

[QUOTE=blinkingblinking]
Are you new to this message board? Most people check spelling on this board.

I thought ‘gonig’ might be some strange weapon for destroying the earth or a mutant gonad (which may be able to destroy the earth).
[/QUOTE]

I like the mutant gonad idea. It would just keep growing and expanding and consuming everything in its path, until finally the earth was consumed.

[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor]
BAD! BAD! BAD What Exit? No makee l33tspeak on the carpet! BAD! :stuck_out_tongue:

:smiley:
[/QUOTE]

{:As a six year old in trouble} Sorry, I won’t do it again.

36

[QUOTE=Mindfield]
Ooh! Now that would be dazzling! Except for two things:

  1. What would they bounce the Earth on?
  2. In space, no one can hear you whistle Sweet Georgia Brown.

[/QUOTE]

GodRef: “Pfweeet! Walking!”

The earth gets a free throw.

37

[QUOTE=Winston Smith]
Meh. What do you expect from Microsoft?
[/QUOTE]

Well…I coulda sworn that it worked in the demo version.

38

If all you want to do is wipe out Humanity, then simply give everybody free & unlimited Internet access.

39

A 1920s Style Death Ray…a HUGE one.

I can’t believe nobody else thought of this

40

[QUOTE=chowder]
A 1920s Style Death Ray…a HUGE one.

I can’t believe nobody else thought of this
[/QUOTE]

Of course, we thought of this, it just would not work. As we all know from the thread dealing with the details specs on the “1920s Style Death Ray” is that they do not have the ability to scale up to a sufficient level to accomplish our goal here. Perhaps you have some new insight?

Now of course if we rebuilt Wardenclyffe Tower and scaled that up, we might be able to achieve your goals.

Jim :wink: