I'm gonna have to quit another job

The BBQ Pit
41

Sven,

I worked for the New Orleans version of your old coot when I was younger.

The day I stood up, told him to STFU and get his whiny butt out of the way and let me fix what needed fixing and ditch the idiot whiny crap that he wanted to be an idiot and whine about, the other three people that worked for him (and we were not allowed to speak) almost stroked out.

I made out a limited power-of-attorney that gave me the ability to handle his banking problems, and to talk with his lawyer about other problems (he was Mr. Sue You For Anything) and told him to sign it or face the reality of nobody doing anything he wanted done.

He kept screaming at me to quit, just quit the job, and I told him he’d have to fire me. All it took was calling his bluff. He calmed down, and no, I wasn’t a research assistant, I was an administrative assistant (made him change the job description filed with his lawyer) and I actually got the mess under control enough that when he died 7 months later, the lawyer and accountant were able to handle the estate.

He told his lawyer that I was emotionally abusive to him, but efficient. The lawyer said that the old fool was such an abusive person, he’d never known what it was like, until someone turned it around on him.

Had you not already quit, i’d suggest trying it. What would be the worst he could do? Fire you?

DD

42

Great, just what I need. More work drama.

I got a phone call, and thinking it’d been a few days and it’d be safe to pick up the phone, I answered. It was creepy-wierd-guy.

He wants me back. He lavishly praised the work I’ve done for him already. He told me that he read my writing samples, and I am the best writer he’s seen in a long time. He said he likes the editorial work I’ve done with him (which I admit is a lot of fun) and that he wants me to come back and he’ll have me doing just writing and editorial work, no lame stuff.

Sounds pretty fucking great. And I have some really compelling reasons to get in a stable position where I can support myself in relative comfort. Plus, I’d get to put “researcher/editor” on a resume, which presumably would build upon the "editorial assistant’ job I’ve already held and help me break in to the real world of publishing, which is a dream of mine. I’d love to go to New York and work as a low-level editor or something and work my way up, and this seems like it would help get me there. (any people in the field want to tell me if my ideas about this are correct? would this job really help?).

On the other hand, the guy is nuts. He didn’t want to hang up when we were talking- every time I tried to say ‘goodbye’ he’d start some other tangent. He clearly just wants somebody to talk to. And while I am an exceptional writer, his praise seemed a little too lavish. I am, after all, a fresh college film studies graduate, not some seasoned writer on the subject he is writing about. He just seems so desperate, and that throws me off.

And creeps me out.

I told him I’d think about it for a couple days and call him back. His new terms sound great, but I have no reason to trust that things won’t just get really really wierd again. What do you guys think?

43

I wouldn’t turn down another promising job for this fruitcake, but I would go back if it was the best thing going at the time. When you say you’re a little creeped out, is this something that is just a low-level creep where you really know he’s a decent human being underneath all his weirdness or might he have human heads in the basement freezer?

As someone who is kind of in the same career boat as you, I know it’s hard to get a break. If you think that this legitimately could help you GET a break, then try it again.

44

Words to live by: No deal is better than a bad deal.

**
If you’re getting this vibe, listen to it. If this guy is a bad as you say, don’t look back for one second.

45

The world might be a better place if more people up and quit on bosses like that. I know someone who was just called to interview for an executive assistant type job and, during the course of the conversation was quoted their pay scale for the job, which was roughly three times the going rate. My friend got fairly excited about this until it was revealed that there had been 3 people in the job in the last 5 years, followed by a series of temps, the most recent of which quit after 3 hours on the job. “Well, you know people get flustered in this job and then they start making mistakes…”

I cannot help but think that they would be better off 1) getting rid of the executive in question, who sounds like a loony or 2) hiring three people to do the job, rather than one person at a high salary.

Eccentric does not always equal genius. Sometimes you’re just a creep.

46

If ‘creeps me out’ is generic ‘this looney is driving me nuts’, go back, get everything IN WRITING, and offer to co-ordinate the other lackeys. If it means there are probably bodies in the compost heap, or dungeons below the house…run away.

Get him to make up a working schedule. What needs to be, by when. Everything by schedule, including all banking, party prep, catering, etc.

He tells you the objective, you tell him when results are achieved, and the others do the grunt work. Assign the one with the best ability to deal with him to be ‘body man’, as in follow him around taking notes, so he can do what he needs to do to be most productive. (All this is couched in the nicest of terms to tell him that he’s an important person with lots of stuff to do, and you want to take stress off of him.)

What he wants is a group of people to tell what to do. Give him one strong individual to deal with his blathering, you do the literary stuff, and put the others onto the bullshit stuff. Ask for a Senior somewhere in your title, and a couple bucks extra an hour.

THEN find out where he works, when he actually does work, and set him up a schedule of ‘serious work time’ without interruption, to get him outta your hair.

He NEEDS direction, as it sounds like he’s let chronic inattention to detail make him crisis oriented instead of task oriented.

Go in, be the hero (act strong, even if you’re not) and reap the benefit. Joke with him that you’re Mussolini, and ya want the trains to run on time…just delegate the scutwork, and give him ONE conduit for comment, his ‘bodyman’.

If it doesn’t work, tell him you need a better structured environment, and you’re sorry you couldn’t build one for his benefit, but crisis management is expensive and annoying.

Work this right, and you’ll make some decent money from it, plus have a great credential.

47

If he wants you to do editing/copywriting/etc, see if you can do it AT HOME. Away from the looniness. Take all your work home (if that’s possible), and turn it in, say, twice a week.
That would keep you out of his line of sight, so you don’t end up with more wacky errands, away from the other workers who you can’t enjoy anyway, and out of whatever bizarre scenario he creates.

If all else fails, how’s the paper-delivery biz there? I make $12+ delivering morning papers, and have the rest of the day to do a second job (if I had a second job, I mean). Might be worth checking into, especially if you have film doings going on as well.

Best,
karol

48

YOSEMITEBABE –

Holy shit, YO, if there’s a remote chance this might happen get the hell out immediately. You have no idea what an allegation of abuse can do to your future in health care. Allegations are easily made and hard to disprove, and many people will not even take a chance on you if there’s so much as a breath of “abuse” attached to you. Because why bother? They can just get someone else about whom those accusations haven’t been made. To have such charges disproven will not unring the bell – you will always be a person who was accused of abusing a patient and this is a death sentence in health care – better to have killed a patient accidentally than to have abused one, since at least the accident can be explained.

If you are serious in wanting to move up in health care and you even suspect your coworkers might submarine you in this totally heinous fashion, you need to either make yourself immune to their accusations – highly unlikely you could totally successfully do that – or get away from them. Do not underestimate the potential damage: It could very easily ruin your career, regardless of whether you’rera nurse’s aide or a brain surgeon. Better to work at McDonald’s and safeguard your professional reputation.

49

Oh Jodi, bless your heart. Bless your heart. You have no idea how good it is to get this advice to leave from you, especially. I know what a smart cookie you are.

I made the decision last night to leave. I will put in my two week’s notice today, or Monday. I feel so good about leaving this place, and you have just confirmed that I am doing the right thing. Things will be tight but I’ve figured it out, and I can make it for the 6 or so months it takes me to complete this course I am taking and then get a new job.

Should I even give two week’s notice? I am thinking so, just because the odds of being set up and framed for abuse in the next two weeks are remote—extremely remote. (But of course, I must never discount the possibility.) I’ve always believed in giving two weeks notice, but then again, this place is a madhouse, so maybe all bets should be off.

50

This was also the basis of an early Doonesbury comic strip.

51

Well, YOSEMITE, don’t give me too much credit. Only you know what’s best for you, and the details of your own situation. But I have been to far too many hearings where a professional has to try to explain away allegations of unprofessionalism. Health care professionals are in an especially vulnerable field for that, because the allegations are so awful – not just “she lied,” or “she cheated,” or “she stole,” but “she abused a helpless person.” IME, your reputation can be permanently shot to hell if such allegations are ever even made, regardless of whether they’re proven.

But since you asked – sure, I’d give two weeks. Best to go out professionally and not burn any bridges that, who knows, you might want to use later. (A contact, maybe, or a reference?) Besides, how would you explain why you didn’t give notice – “I thought I might be accused of abuse”? Best not to even go there. Good luck! And for God’s sake don’t quit on my account! :slight_smile:

52

Cher’s right. The world would be a better place if MORE people were willing to tell people like your boss where the hell to get off, right before or right after the phrase, “I QUIT.”

Precisely what job is there out there that is worth your sanity, your peace of mind, your self-respect, and like that? Dunno about you, but I work to live, not live to work.

53

Speaking from experience after watching a nurse friend get completely and totally screwed by her hospital in something very similar to this - fuck them. Leave. (From what I can tell, I don’t think you’re a nurse, but I understand how something like what you’re talking about can destroy a career - it nearly did my friend’s career).

She was injured on the job, off on disability but fought for months to get better because she LOVED her job and wanted to go back to work. Some false allegations were made against her and she was basically fired without cause (believe me, she is a great nurse - this should NOT have happened). It took her the better part of a year to get another job and only because she was fighting the hospital. She’s completely happy in her job now - loves it - but she almost lost her entire nursing career because her hospital was pissed at her for getting injured on the job (she was lifting a patient, for hell’s sake, and hurt her back). Don’t take the chance on losing your whole career. Screw them.

Ava

54

Let me join the chorus of people who applaud you for bailing. A miserable job is just miserable. The reality is that you’re not gonna starve to death if you quit.

And too many people spend their lives in miserable jobs thinking they should tough it out.

For what it’s worth, I was in a miserable job (law firm associate) and I agree that no amount of money is worth daily emotional abuse. (I was making a good deal more than $12/hr). Well, I quit and my only regret is that I didn’t quit earlier.

As a side note, it’s funny the similarities among lousy bosses. Another associate and I used to joke about “mental e-mails”

55

Jodi, thanks so much, and don’t fear, I didn’t quit because of you—I had already decided to quit before I read your first post. It was just that what you wrote was the final nail in the coffin that houses this current job! :wink:

I have put in two weeks’ notice. Or rather, 13 days—I will work until the end of the month. I figured that was good enough. I will probably explain to the supervisor (who is a reasonably person, just too remote from the hellhole that is my workplace) that I felt the work environment was too “stressful”.

Last year I had an incident happen (not my fault, no allegations, no black mark on my record as far as I know) that caused all sorts of gossip amongst these toxic co-workers. They didn’t officially allege anything, because no one saw the incident but me. But they gossiped, and speculated, and whipsered to each other, “Well, I think it happened like this.” Or, “I don’t believe her version of what happened, I think she did this.” All idle speculation, all just gossip from bored, petty, toxic women who need to get a life. They also gossiped to other people affected by the incident (gosh, am I being vague enough here?) which caused these people to suspect I’d done something untoward. All unofficial, all just talk, but still, quite an evil and horrible thing to do.

I was so stressed out by that that I almost quit (was talked out of it, probably wise at the time since quitting would have made me look like I was “running away” from something). I was miserable. I complained to the supervisor, the gossip was officially clamped down on, but only for a little while. You can’t shut people like that up for long.

Even if I didn’t have to worry about my professional reputation and future, I never EVER want to go through that again. It was awful. So I am on my way OUT! I am so STOKED about finally being free of this horrible sucky job!!

avabeth—wow, that sucks what happened to your friend. I can really see that happening at some workplaces. Which is why I’ll never be a nurse. (This job I am training for does not involve direct care of patients—but I still worry about my professional reputation and don’t want to take any risks.) I am really tempted to leave now, but Jodi has a good point—I may need the reference of my current employer some day. (And my current employer is very big where I am located.) Also, I don’t fear my employers trying to screw me over (not in the next two weeks, anyway), it’s these toxic co-workers. And I will ask (well, insist) that I not be scheduled to work with the most toxic of them for the remainder of my time here. If they don’t want to do that, that’s fine, I’ll just be outta here sooner. (But I doubt that they’ll insist I work with Ms. Toxic in the next two weeks.)

56

Yes a high and grand purpose, one that becomes harder to recall on one’s third bout of ameobic dysentary, or the fifth time the local bureacrats have nixed or otherwise interfered with your work, or the seventh time the students you teach have gone on strike against you…

In short, if you’re going to work in the developing world, you have to have some fucking spine. I’ve not seen any evidence that the poster in question has much spine which it comes to overcoming hurdles. Maybe she does, but there it is.

57

You are just the sweetest poster ever, aren’t you? Who’s a good boy? It’s you isn’t it? :rolleyes:

Sarcasm aside, I am wondering if you have ever posted anything supportive and polite in your life.

58

Maybe he should have sugar coated it or something but he’s absolutely correct in this case.

Haj

59

Yeah, all sunshine am I.

I’m also alive and kicking because of that.

Supportive? I don’t know, I do post what I actually think, without hedging or false blather.

Our quitter above indicated in the past she was interested in development work or Peace Corps - had an application in. I’ve spent a long time in the developing world and I recognize the people who fall apart. Better she spare everyone the drama and the wasted resources than for some namby pamby, “Oh it has meaning” blather.

Perhaps she’ll do fine with making little films and all that, I don’t know, not my area. On the point I can comment on, I stand by it.

60

As I said earlier, I came very close to applying for the PC myself a number of years ago. I did a lot of research and am very familiar with the process. The “I just want to help the children and heal the world” types almost always fail the first interview. They don’t want people like that in the PC because they make poor volunteers. When they ask about previous jobs and they hear the story about the jerky old guy, I highly doubt that they will allow the OP to take the next step.

Haj