Freaking “AGAIN…” at the start of every explanation.
Yeah, I’m gonna task you to do your due diligence and drill down to get the high level info. Are we all in agreeance?
Ugghhh, “agreeance”- how did this even become a word that’s used 50 times a day in my department?
And then we need to hit the ground running…
Plus, it is all about “metrics”…let us not lose sight of the “metrics”!
“Resources” to mean people :smack: A “resource limitation” means the project is late because we ran out of disk space or paper or time or some THING. It does not mean that the project is late because Adam went on vacation and didn’t tell us in advance. That’s a people problem or a scheduling problem. Don’t treat people like hex nuts, and don’t refer to people like you would to hex nuts.
You got a problem with that? Take it to HR.
Bwah hah hah!
I’ll reach out to them and socialize the issue to determine if appropriate resouces are available, or if she’s on leave.
Or are you throwing me under the bus? 
Can we level-set before we jump into our action items?
God, that one kills me. Not only because it’s just retarded, but because the very act of using that boneheaded term trains the management types to think of people as somehow in the same category as servers, hex nuts, reams of paper, and other fungible things.
I’m a person, not a fucking “resource”. A person who has wants and needs of my own, and a unique set of skills and experiences that make me a valuable asset to the company, not some warm body to do a task.
At my work we’re called "FTE"s. “Full-Time Equivalents”. Nice.
And when we get laid off it’s called being “surplus”-ed. Even more nice. :mad:
Now let me liase with my team members and we’ll brainstorm on how to differentiate our networking mobilization.
I work for a DOD contractor. It is not a “hex nut”. It is a “hexaform rotatable surface compression unit.” Please get your terminology straight.
I really wish I was making this up.
You have the NSN for that? Or at least the FSC? (I wish I was making that up)
I think at the end of the day we have to minimise backward overflow, so just to make sure we’re singing from the same hymn sheet I’m going to throw this on the ground and see who pecks at it.
Literally.
Do you have the bandwidth for that tasker?
Don’t give me any of that psychobabble bullshit!
I would like to shoot all of you in the fucking face.
Wait. Am I not doing it right?
Ack! I saw a new one today. An internal newsletter described us worker bees as the “connective tissue” of the organization. 
:smack:
It reminds me of Miles Vorkosigan musing that the Vor lords[sup]1[/sup] are called “the Sinews of the Empire”, but never “the Brains of the Empire”.
[sup]1[/sup] The aristocratic class he belongs to, for those of you who have not read the books. You should read the books - they are a metric ton of fun!
Well, I’m gonna step up to the plate and take one for the team, because my buddy Ogre * really raised the bar * on this one. 
Quasi
Enterprise level humor is looking pretty thin on the ground here.
Lets outsource all of the consultants preaching this mantra. I’d like to see 100% of them outside the box. Or inside the box, if we can drop it the whole 6 feet.
Just tell them we moved the cheese.