I'm just having one of "those" days.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was watching Oprah yesterday (just bits and pieces at work–boss was gone yesterday). Anyway, Madonna was her guest, and she was talking a little bit about the Kabala. I could be spelling this wrong; I’m not really familiar with Kabala at all.

Anyway, Madonna was talking about how the main premise in the religion is that you are responsible for everything in your life. It’s one of those fairly obvious statements, which can be applied to anything. But for some reason it struck a chord with me.

Today I’m sitting here thinking about all the reasons that I’m kind of depressed this week. I won’t list all of them, but I will try to give a brief over-view. I’m so irritated with my husband this week. We can’t seem to agree on anything, he’s just getting on my nerves. I hate my job right now. My boss keeps over-loading me with things to do, and I don’t get paid hardly anything. I’m gaining weight. I’m now at around 164 pounds. When I started dating my husband 5 or 6 years ago I weight around 120 or so. This is the heaviest I have EVER been.

Anyway, my point is that these things that are getting me down this week all have one thing in common. They are my fault.

I am the one who married my husband. I can’t imagine that I was unaware that we disagreed on things when we got married. I knew we weren’t TOTALLY compatible. It’s me who keeps getting irritated at him, but not talking to him about what is going on with us. (And just for the record, we aren’t getting a divorce, or having MAJOR issues… It’s just that we haven’t been getting along as good as we used to).

It’s me who took this job that pays little-to-nothing. It’s me who dropped out of college (I’m going to school NOW, but at my age I should be out of college with a degree at this point). I’m the one who decided that I didn’t need to go to college back when I made the decision.

And lastly, I’m the one who never gets out and exercises. I’m the one who gets hungry and just disregards the fact that I’m gaining weight–while shoveling in any food handy. I’m the one who buys unhealthy food at the grocery store. I’m the one who never eats low-fat, low-calorie food, and would rather have a bag of chips instead of an apple.

Too bad I didn’t see the whole program. haha Am I supposed to fix all these problems now that I’ve taken responsibility for them being my fault? While that is a good plan in theory, I seriously doubt that I’ll now go home and have an effective heart-to-heart with my husband. I doubt I’ll actually get on and stay on a healthy program for my weight…

What’s a woman to do??

This is SOOOOO mundane and pointless to the average reader, but I guess I thought maybe this would make more sense to me if I went ahead and posted it.

Feel free to comment about any of your own experiences, or feelings. OR, feel free to just read and go on to the next thread.

:slight_smile:

2

I say bravo to you for taking responsibility for your life. Although it probably isn’t as bad as it seems, the next step would be. . .

3

I think that whole “Dr. Phil” approach to problem-solving is quite annoying (or maybe it’s just Dr. Phil himself who’s annoying), but it does have its merits.

The trick is not to sit there and blame yourself for all of the things that are making you unhappy.

In fact, it’s not even the point, because shit, that could make you feel worse.

The idea behind taking responsibility for these things is to realize that you’re in control of changing whatever is making you unhappy.

So, what are ya gonna do about it? :slight_smile:

4

Breezy, go see your doctor now. What you’ve listed are the symptoms of depression. I have chronic depression and came very close to killing my self before I went for help. You may not need meds, but even talking to a professional may help.

5

Sorry, didn’t catch this paragraph the first time around:

If you’re asking for advice, I would go home tonight and say something approximately along these lines:

Breezy:“Honey, do you have a second?”

Mr. Breezy :rolleyes: “What?!”

Breezy:“I had a heart to heart with myself today.”

Mr. Breezy :dubious:“And?”

Breezy:“Well, I’m going to take control of my life. I’m going to take the bull by the horns, either quit my job or quit bitching about it and get myself to the gym. Do you want to join the gym with me?”

Mr. Breezy :eek: “Wow!” Thank you honey, I’ll be there to help you along.

6

I had the same epiphany the other day. I’ve gained a bit of weight, too. My fault. So now I’m cutting the evil alcohol out of my diet for a while. Well, not every drop. I’m just cutting my intake from every-bottle-of-wine-in-sight to a reasonable 2 or 3 glasses on the weekend.

And I don’t think it’s about blame as much as it is about taking charge. Who gives a fuck whose fault it is? What matters is what you do to change it. Buck up, sister! You’re on your way to a happier you!

7

I was having “one of those days” last weekend. Then I had one the next day, only worse. And the day after that I could barely drag ass out of bed. And then yesterday I realized that I wasn’t “having a bad day,” I was depressed out of my f***ing mind. So I’m going to see a therapist next week and see how that goes, since I’ve never tried it before.

I might add that just making the appointment, doing something about my situation, has improved my outlook considerably.

8

I went and talked to my mom over lunch (FREE therapy!). haha Anyway, I’m feeling better in general.

I really appreciate people who respond to threads like this. It sounds so corny, but it’s like having a cheering section, or something.

Anyway, I guess on the weight issue I might just try to eat more reasonably, and ONLY when I’m hungry. I seem to get hungry, and really munch on a lot of things. Then even though I’m not hungry for dinner, I go ahead and eat anyway, since it’s dinner…

I think a lot of people probably do that.

Also, what Auntie Em said about not blaming myself for things, but just trying to fix them is the key… I think that’s right. This morning I was just over-whelming myself with the crappy stuff that’s going on right now.

I mean, it seems like once you get depressed about something, it’s easy to let that be all that you think about. Certainly I wouldn’t say this is a problem with clinical depression. I think it’s just life. Ups and downs of life, I mean.

A lady just came into my office this afternoon, and she is having a problem that is so much bigger than any of my problems. She just got married a month and a half ago, and her new husband stole her car and took off. He came back long enough to kick her out of the house… They have been married a month and a half. I guess that kicked my butt a little bit, into saying “your problems could be SOOOOOO much bigger.”

Anyway, I really appreciate those who responded. And here’s hoping that everyone has a bunch of great days to come!! (And if you aren’t busy, you might keep that lady I mentioned above in your hearts and prayers).