Yep, you read it right, my wife wants me to make her depressed. She says she’s too happy with me. When she’s depressed, she doesn’t want to eat. She wants to lose some weight and doesn’t want any diet or anything like that, so she says me making her depressed is the only option.
Her suggestions for making her depressed: have an affair, tell her she’s fat (she’s not), and cut back on shopping.
Of course, when I admitted to a nonexistant affair, she started laughing. I’m not sure what that means.
Does anyone here have a sure-fire way to depress your spouse? It should only last a couple of months, and then she wants to be happy again.
c’mon, Jar, he isn’t talking about clinical depression. He’s talking about being bummed out. It’s unfortunate that the two both are referred to by the same word but you should be able to tell which kind a person is talking about and adjust your outrage accordingly.
If physical abuse is out, try being fault-finding, emotionally distant, physically unavailable, and dishonest. Take alcohol to excess, develop a drug addiction, neglect your responsibilities at home and work, avoid bathing, put on 100 pounds, and refer to her as the “old sperm bank” in front of her friends and family. Develop an obsession for pornography involving non-mainstream creatures or objects, break wind loudly and often in front of her and yell out “oh boy, dinner’s cooking”. Start fires in inappropriate places. Spread rumors about her sexual and sanitary habits. Tell everyone she had a parole officer. Destroy any family heirlooms or other items that have special meaning to her.
That should do for the first day. Let me know if you need more.
Man, I have got to start treating a better class of patient!
It’s not really a joke. She’s more upset by the fact that we recently had a baby and she’s not back to her pre-baby weight. Whenever she’s depressed, she can’t eat, so she thinks that’s an option.
My post was a bit tongue-in-cheek, and I’m not going to do anything to depress her. She went through quite a stage of depression earlier, and treating it with a bit of humor helps her out.
No offence intended, and I apoligize if it did offend.
Qadgop, those are definitely some interesting suggestions. Other than the setting fires in inappropriate places (define inappropriate), I think all of those are probably out of the question. They should be effective, though…
If she is still nursing, that will help with her weight loss. Also, she needs to undrestand that not eating may affect her child negatively and she needs to talk to her doctor about any attempt at weight loss.
Rather than getting depressed to stop eating, she needs to get more exercise. And she needs to do something that will help her with body acceptance issues.
Obviously she needs to start belly dancing lessons!
Nah, if he was a doctor for politicians (or most anyone else), he’d actually have to concern himself with things like HMO referrals, good “bedside manner” at all times, and competition from other doctors.
Oh, I have no intention of depressing her. She just thinks that healthy eating and exercise are a lot of work. Keeping up with our boy is enough work for her!
Exercise with her…you guys can push the baby in the stroller around the block.
I wouldn’t recommend going on a diet if she’s breastfeeding. She needs the nutrition to provide good milk.
Sounds like your wife needs motivation, and I don’t think bumming her out is the best way to go. She’s got enough on her plate dealing with the new baby.
Why don’t you and her sit down together and figure out some sort of exercise you could do together? Play tennis together or something. Or, perhaps set a day or two a week when you will take the baby and she can go to the gym or some such thing?