18th birthday today! No, won’t be buying cigarettes (don’t smoke, except occasionally… maybe once a month) or porn (easier to get it online for free). But happy birthday to me!
Are you uh, hot? Female?
I’m… uhh… decent looking (imnsho), and male.
Uh, forget I said anything.
They say all the good online porn is pay-to-play, which is now an option for you, if you have the money.
Just some food for thought.
Congrats btw. I just turned legal two months ago. It’s so nice to finally be able to say “Yup, you sure can see my ID, it’s right here” rather than “Um…er…uh…I forgot it?”
You’re legal, and you’re fabulous! Well maybe not that fabo, but you’re OK.
So now we can tell you to go screw yourself without worrying about soliciting underage sex act? Cool!
Kidding. Happy Birthday. 
Happy birthday!
Happy Bday chaoticdonkey!
Great, now I won’t have to sneak you in through the back door anymore!
Happy Birthday, have a lollipop.
yay! Lollipop!
Happy birthday! 
Happy Birthday chaoticdonkey
I believe you should buy porn. Just because you can. But then that’s me.
Heck forget the porn, meet me in the stripclub. I’ll buy your first lap dance
Oh and AngelicGemma says she wants to come along. We can make it a party!
Where is this Limbo place? Perhaps we can meet up? And how far left of it are you? 
Congrats. If you can wait three years, I’ll buy you a beer
I hate to break this to you my friend, but you didn’t have to wait til you were 18 to have a Lollipop.
Well, turn left at Purgatory and keep going straight until you see the signs for Salvation. If you see a McDonald’s then you’ve gone too far. Turn left. Go on for two miles then take the second exit for Limbo. I’m about a stone’s throw to the left.
Ah good. After I replied earlier, I was worried that perhaps “lollipop” was a euphemism.
And apparently, I did have to wait. Before, I just called them “suckers.”
Nah it’s not a euphemism–or if it is, I don’t know what for. It’s just something I do.
And saying “lollipop?” sounds better than saying “sucker?”