Last night I watched one of my favorite movies. Yes, it’s arguably one of the worst movies Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan has made. ‘Joe Versus the Volcano.’ I know, I know. Dumb. But it seems like these lesser movies have some great lines…the kind that make their way into my arnenal of useless movie quotes.
What about it? What’s your favorite quote from a bad movie?
“it’s been swell…but the swellings gone down”
from one of my all time faves…TANK GIRL!!
there are so many great quotes from that movie…I think I will sit down and watch it again right now and get back to you with more…
psst…can you spare a sig?
Dylan,
Yep. ‘Tank Girl’ is loaded. I look forward to it.
Struuter- I have no response for that.
I still use that when my wife asks me an uncomfortable question.
John
“Winter has come at last.” – Mr Freeze (Arnold) to Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman)
and my other all time favorite, from Batman Forever.
“And what’s your name?”
“Chase Meridian”
(kisses hand)“And what a grand pursuit it must be.”
Jim Carrey and Mrs. Cruise
Villians in Batman movies get all the good lines.
Is she a flibberty-gibbit? 
We had this discussion at work (yeah, great job) about what is the most embarassing movie to admit that you liked. I can’t recall any specific lines that stand out from it, but one of my favorite movies is Dr. Detroit.
CandyMan
I LOVE Joe Vs. the Volcano! It’s one of my favorite movies, and most of my friends love it too. I use the phrase “I’m not arguing that with you” all the time. It’s the perfect thing to say to someone who won’t let it go.
“Put the bunny down.”
-ConAir. That movie made me wince from bad writing so many times my girlfriend thought I had a nervous tick.
In response to whether I like something or want to do something. I say it all the time; it’s from Mannequin. I personally love this movie, but I realize that most don’t.
CandyMan,
‘Dr. Detroit’ is hilarious. But then I have a monster crush on Dan.
boli,
My mother says that all the time. It’s a hoot.
Spider,
Thank you. That is probably one of the funniest descriptions of movie torture I’ve seen in a long time.
Beverly Hills Cop (1,2 or 3)
The first one was not that bad, has great lines in in like:
Serge: This is not sexy, this is animal!
Eddie always has great lines.
What about Coming to America? He played at least four characters in that one.
As the Barber: Rocky Maricano, Rocky Marciano. Every time we talk about boxin’ a white man pulls Rocky Marciano out of his ass (or something to that effect).
Any Humphrey Bogart movie.
Any Clint Eastwood movie, you get the lines AND that “Clint squint”.
Sili
Bob Sagget in Half Baked did a cameo… it was hilarious… “I used to suck dick for coke. Did you ever suck dick for some marijuana?” maybe it was just the fact that i see him as a ‘family’ kinda guy. no, that line is hilarious…
“Is that Studd Cumming?”
It’s from “Diabolique” (NO, it’s not a porno), and is actually a guy’s name. All-time greatest quote, hands down.
I can’t remember any lines specifically from this movie, but I must tell the world that I recently bought “Americathon” on eBay for like $3. I only have vague memories of it, but I know it was horrible and bizarre and I can’t wait to see it again.
John Ritter as the president. Now that’s comedy!.
“look, if you’re gonna torture me, spank me, or lick me, DO IT…but if this poetry shit continues, just shoot me now”
“places to wreck, people to do”
“it’s like the first time you got laid, you just have to say, Daddy, are you sure this is right?”
“Everybody drop your guns!..or I scrape off all her makeup…this might take a really long time…”
“I have 2 words for you…brush your teeth!!!”
I LOVE Tank Girl…only halfway thru it…I’ll be back.
A quote from a bad movie I just saw yesterday
From Lost in Space: Major West (Matt LeBlanc), muttering to himself - “If this is a dream, why can’t there be more girls?”
Okay, so it’s not that great of a line, but it was the only one I could think of.
From “Mom and Dad Save the World”
(sung at the wedding of the Emperor Tod Spengo)
Today Marge Nelson
Becomes Marge Spengo
And all across the planet
Our hearts will do the tango
Okay, it’s a lot funnier performed in chorus by a bunch of people who look like Dr. Suess characters.
Thanks for reminding me of that movie! What a blast.
For you Struuter:
“Mom, I’m going to rip of your head and piss down your neck!”
Dan Ackroyd, Dr. Detroit