My lazy, greedy wife happened to get her nose into the estate settlement papers I had to sign, and found out how much I’m inheriting. True to form, she’s found a new house for me to buy with the dough.
These are the facts of life, sweetheart:
When I get the money, it goes directly into a trust where you will NEVER be able to get your fingers into it. Should I croak, your son will be the sole beneficiary of that trust.
Other than the $10k I decided to earmark for the rugrat’s college fund, I am using the rest for grad school for me. Period.
If I don’t get into grad school, or wash out, it’s a leg up on my retirement. I’ll be damned if I piss it away like I did with the life insurance money.
Sure our house is too small, and has appreciated 25% since we bought it. Yes, it’s going to be sold in the near future. Just wait until you see the shoebox in the student ghetto we move to, you greedy bitch…
What the fuck is going on here? You should divorce the greedy bitch and kick her ass out on the street and then go titty fuck a DD cupped Whooore down on the avenue!
If your relationship with your wife has broken down to that point it’s time to re-examine (with or without a counselor) whether that marriage is worthy of continuing.
Oh, and get a divorce, please. Think of the children! (I’m only half joking with that. God knows I’d be a happier, healthier person if my parents got a divorce long ago.)
I was feeling down, lately, about not being in a relationship. But all of a sudden, a life of solitary TV watching, frozen dinners, and relentless masturbation seems positively appealing by comparison.
Yes it’s a terrible thing when a wife wants a bigger house when the family is coming into money. Imagine the impudence that she would consider upsizing a somewhat cramped house if funds are going to be available to do so! It’s outrageous! You should beat her good! Oh the temerity of that lazy slattern!
Wait I’m getting a vision…it’s hazy, but coming into view… Oh my GOD! It’s your money being spent on a HUGE house! But where are you?.. Oh it’s not you, it’s your lawyer and your wife’s lawyer, and they’re both buying houses! Imagine that!
Y’know, if you spent more time watching cooking shows, you could solve one of those problems. And if you watch Nigella’s, it might improve the quality of one of the others…