I’m guessing this is in response to my post. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be willing to suck it up , or that I wouldn’t be willing to do it under the right conditions. But that lack of respect you see from wife to Bob - it can go both ways. I see that it’s his aim to divest himself of the house so he can go to grad school. He never mentioned whether or not it was her aim, and that may be part of the problem…
Just this very month, my husband was opening bills from Christmas and the normal utilities, installments, and the credit cards that he, for some reason, can never manage to pay before the due date so that the balances increase despite payments, and he says: Eff This. Let’s consolidate. Wanna do the bills? I never want to see another as long as I live. Give me $75 a week, that’s fine.
I took his temperature…I checked for signs of dementia and mania and he’s apparently as healthy as a horse…I bring in very little money at the moment, just enough to cover my 1 small credit card, internet account and pocket money. That way I don’t feel like a household expense. (We always had separate accounts. He spends, I save. He cannot use my checkbook. In fact banks have warned him in the past to stay away from his own checkbook.) So we’re consolidating his old bills, for this new leaf, in which I am Boss.
I feel that he’ll last approximately 3 weeks, but it’s nice to see that it can be done! 
Feminist
D&R 
vunderbob, your wife is shopping, compulsive shopping habits, are being doing to fulfill a void in her life. A deep chasm. Whatever insecurities she has, she is using shopping to balm the hurt.
If you move into a bigger house, she will only drive you deeper into debt and fill up every room and nook and cranny with crap.
It will NEVER get better on it’s own. You have to take away the credit cards, make her responsible for her own debt and charge cards. **You Must Protect Yourself. No One Will Do It For You. **
My MIL is a compulsive shopper and she is the most insecure person I’ve ever met. When my FIL dies ( nice enough guy but extraordinarily old-world demeanor and demanding.) she will be free for the first time in her life. Meanwhile, I live in absolute fear of the ‘gifts’ we get from her all the time and if she drops dead, who will inherit her basement that is just loaded with crap she never uses and her *sewing room * that is crammed with shelves of material that she can’t seem to stop buying. ( and it’s the ugly material, clearance stuff.)
I am sorry for what you are enduring. You seem to have a lot of hate inside of you and I don’t see how it is ever going to get better given the parameters stated above.
yep Doreen I guess I was thinking of your post … on retrospect what I said looks harsh. Sometimes it’s hard for me to express in print what I really mean. 
I agree that there appears to be a lack of respect on both sides.
I’ve also thought about what Shirley brings up. Perhaps the counselor can shed some light on that for bob & wife.