You know who thinks writer’s block is bullshit? People who are actually professional writers. If you’re not writing, it’s nobody’s fault but your own, unless you are physically incapable of holding a writing utensil or typing. Real writers don’t always write good material, but they are always writing something, even if it’s just crap they know they’re going to toss.
It doesn’t work this way…it’s…it’s like Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation. There’s always a serious chance of death, even if you don’t die, you could easily permanently injure yourself, you have to keep it secret from those around you, and you end up working with dingy, makeshift protections that are the only thing between you and death. And you’re doing it every day! Even if you could build a noose with a brilliant, perfect failsafe, the parts will wear down eventually. Eventually it will fail, and you’ll be dead from your own recklessness.
Except it’s worse for you, because because of the thrills you’re seeking, you can’t even trust your own brain!
“Eccentric” is wearing bow ties while bathing, or supergluing bumblebees to fishing line and taking them for walks. “Crazy” is talking to people who aren’t there or dialing 911 to report that reptilian extraterrestrials have been beaming thoughts into the homeowners association board members.
Look, if you recognize that some things that you perceive aren’t real, I think you should take great pains to not harm others, considering that there is a real possibility that many of your grievances could be just in your head. And by “harm” I don’t mean just physical harm – causing mental, emotional, or social distress to someone based upon a set of events that could have occurred under conditions that were radically different than your perception at the time is a very, very bad line to cross.
Shouldn’t that be “taking them for flies”?
Oh, I kept writing. Mostly BBS/Internet posts & emails, plus I maintained a music review website for many years. But writer’s block is very real, thank you very much – and that’s gonna be the biggest stumbling block to becoming professional, because I know just how hard it is for me to write when I’m not in the mood, especially when the deadline is ticking away…in the future, that may change (and I’m getting better at “forcing out the words” when needed) so “writer’s block” is an irrelevant distraction, IMNSHO.
Oh, backing away so quickly? Afraid that people will think less of you for supporting poor crazy KGS? Well, fuck off then – go ahead and kowtow to peer pressure, like the weak-willed sorry sack of shit you and your friends all are. (Hmm, maybe I should start reading auras more often – yours is particularly fear-filled right now.)
Why are you linking to a thread I did not post to? This thread’s supposed to be about ME, goddammit!! Stop changing the subject! 
I don’t know…doesn’t brain chemistry affect artistic ability? There was that guy who was hit by lightning and suddenly had a musical affinity. He learned to play piano and now he composes and perform in front of sold-out audiences. (It was in the book Musicophilia.) I don’t know for sure, but maybe drugs could have an affect on creative ability, too.
That said, I think most artistic people with mental illness have actually produced their best work when in treatment. It’s hard to write coherently (or at all) when you are manic or depressed.
It’s uncanny; I’ve heard this rationalization almost word for word from a bipolar ex, despite copious evidence to the contrary. From admittedly enjoying his mania and the “creativity” it brought, to claiming the ability to choose how he reacted to his breaks from reality and/or simply not “cross any significant boundary” – it’s just uncanny. shudder
And lemme guess–in the end, he lost everything, a broken, pathetic shell of a man.
Most people enjoy their mania, until they come crashing down and see the damage. I miss it quite a bit, personally, especially since I only ever had hypomania so it never did anything particularly bad to my life. What’s not to like about having tons of energy, smarts, and creativity? Unfortunately, it’s the price I pay for not falling into a major depression.
Just occured to me, with the whole patient records confidentiality thing, how would the police be able to access this information?
For instance, if a vindictive mentally ill person planted a bunch of kiddie porn at a family member’s house, then tipped off the police that they were a child molester, seems to me that it would take an awfully long time (if ever) for the accused to clear their name. How would the authorities be able to access the accuser’s medical records to ascertain that they are not credible and/or have done this type of thing to other family members in the past?
In the end, he lost me; I couldn’t tell you any more than that because my life doesn’t revolve around looking after him anymore.
No doubt the mania is awesome, yet you still take your medication. Some people can’t see the aftermath of choosing mania over medication.
KGS
I’m not sure how to say this without you thinking I’m attacking you. BUT you do sound manic. If you don’t like your shrink, then find one you do like and trust.
If your family is so evil, then cut them out of your life. But almost everybody needs a support network. Do you have friends you can really rely on?
I don’t know what else to say. I wish I could help you somehow.
Don’t worry, Doc – you’re one of the few GD/Pit denizens who’s been consistently nice to me. I remember who my friends are, and yes I do have plenty of close friends who I can trust. And it goes without saying that I’ll be keeping as much distance between myself and my family as possible – heck, they’re so estranged from me already, it won’t be that hard to do. 
As for my “current” shrink…well, he’s only slightly evil, and he’s probably the best shrink I can hope for (which, sadly, isn’t saying much.) He does believe in Energy Vampires, which is a good sign, but he’s still trying to hook me on medication – this time a drug called Topamax. To be honest, I’m actually thinking of trying it, since it’s not an anti-psychotic and one of the side effects is WEIGHT LOSS, which I could certainly use. 
It’s not really “mania” with me – I call it an “Event”, and while previous “Events” did result in considerable fallout, I’ve learned how to focus my so-called “Manic/Psychotic” energy towards positive, constructive goals. For example, I’ve spent most of the last two weeks cleaning my apartment, organizing files on my computer (which was complicated by last week’s cyber-attack, but thankfully I didn’t lose anything important), and spending time outside either walking to the mailbox or chatting up random strangers. I’m a new person now, and while I wouldn’t necessarily recommend my methods to others, it works for me. Let me repeat – it works for ME. I know myself better than anyone else on earth, and I scoff at you goody-goods who claim to know what makes me tick based on a few of my nutty SDMB threads. Heck, this message board itself is merely a small subset of my life – I could walk away tomorrow, if necessary, but I won’t because I kinda enjoy the attention here, believe it or not.
And Dripping, you’ll have to speak louder, because for some reason I can’t read your words. (To say more would be a rules violation…I think.) But I do recommend that you get rid of all that kiddy porn on your computer; if the FBI is still watching me, they’ve no doubt zoned in on you as well, or at least they will soon. Even Nathaniel’s rather squicked out by the stuff you jerk off to, and it takes A LOT to disturb Nathaniel! 
Quite frankly, your accusations against Dripping are making me think you’re crazy. Or despicable. Or both.
Do you think that’s funny? Do you think that’s art?
Whatever you think it is, knock it the fuck off. It’s horrible of you to do that.
:: post snipped ::
So, what exactly led you to believe that you have been a victim of a ‘cyber-attack’? Us I.T. geeks really want to know.
Slee
On a side note, you really do seem extremely manic and ought to find a doctor you can trust and talk to him/her.
They had exactly ONE Pepsi Throwback at the Deli. I got a Pepsi with real sugar no less!
+1
Reading this thread, I was wondering why this felt so familiar. Then I realized what I was remembering was your outrageous behavior from this thread dealing with the Lori Drew cyber-bullying case, which was one of the first threads I got involved in on the SDMB back in Nov. '07. The thread where you said that you “can’t help thinking that maybe it’s [Megan Meier’s suicide] for the best”, then moved on to assert that “I think this whole two-parent system of child-rearing (the so-called “nuclear family”) is inherently dysfunctional, and most of the problems of society can be traced back to exactly that. Sometimes parents can be a healthy influence on their children, but it’s extremely rare.” You then continued on to bizarrely posit that “The success of immigrant groups (including the controversial issue of illegal aliens) can be attributed to their non-traditional family structure”, before winding up with the condescending rejoinder that “I’ve made it this far without compromising my talents, my visions, or my knowledge of the truth. And that makes me a lot better off than those of you who gave up your youthful ideology for blissful conformity many years ago, so long ago that you don’t even remember what you sacrificed.”
You’re right that we only know you from your posts. But the picture that those posts paint is of a cruel, arrogant moron who either is genuinely mentally ill, or convincingly plays at it. Either way, as the Lori Drew thread shows, this is a long-established pattern of behavior for you.
Well…good luck, then.
You certainly need it.
OK. This is an extension of the driveby comment I made earlier - I’ve never met you, you don’t know me, crazy, not crazy, whatever, it’s all irrelevant to this central point: Whatever steps you take to heal yourself and make yourself a better person, one absolutely indispensable step in convincing others that you are no longer crazy, vindictive, or dangerous is to stop saying and doing things that make you sound crazy, vindictive, or dangerous. Even in jest. Perhaps especially in jest.
If it’s true that you’ve been railroaded by your family and you’ve never really had mental problems, then cut ties and let 'em go. Don’t taunt them or poke them with sticks “just to be a punk.” You’re just giving them ammo, and evidence, that you’re “still crazy.”
If you have had psychological difficulties, and are working to overcome them but think you’re getting a raw shake from people who knew you back when you were “crazy,” then don’t taunt them or poke them with sticks “just to be a punk.” You’re just giving them ammo, and evidence, that you’re “still crazy.”
You may notice some similarities between those two paragraphs. That’s not a mistake.
In a nutshell you’ve complained that people have forced you into treatment you don’t need, labeled you in incredibly destructive ways, and it’s clear that you feel that you have been wronged by these people. That’s natural, I’d feel the same way.
Then you wrote about trying to force your brother into psychiatric treatment, and announced that certain people in this thread are child molesters and whack off to kiddy porn. What results are you expecting that are different from your reaction to similar treatment and labeling? Would you expect your brother to be happy about being committed or the people reading to say “Well, I’m not a molester but it’s a perfectly valid debate tactic so +1 for KGS”? You’re not so different from anybody else that their reactions are going to be different from yours. You can feel safe in assuming that they’ll be pissed off. Is this OK for you to do to other people but not them to you? Why or why not?
The cycle of “you hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you back” has to end somewhere if things are ever going to change, and you’re the only one you can control. Turn the other cheek. Walk away, and focus less on how you’ve been wronged and how you’re going to get even, than on your future and how you are yourself treating other people, if you want to prove that you are actually different from how you used to be. Doesn’t mean your family will turn around and love you but at the least it does mean there’s nothing for them to show the guys in white coats if they do decide on a whim that you should be locked up.