You could have been writing that about my life – except that I’ve never been on meds (even though my sister thinks I should be). I can’t seem to get enough strength to get help though. Serendipity was right when she said that is the hardest part. You are stronger than you think.
{{{{{Soda}}}}}
Sweetie! I know what you’re going through. I hope you haven’t forgotten my email already. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, so I understand how you’re feeling. If you need a friend to talk to, email me. If you just need someone to shut up and listen while you vent, email me. If you need to actually hear and speak to a person, email me and we can swap phone numbers if you want.
I have had many instances over the past year where I found the people on this board were here for me to help me through the rough spots. Now I’m letting you know I’m here for you if you want.
Crunchy! When did you de-lurk? Shame on you… Now what’s going to happen with your novel? 
I was going to e-mail you one of these days, and I still will. Keep an eye on your inbox, will ya’?
Digital, yeah, that’s what I’m hoping for too. I don’t expect the meds to cure me, but I hope they’ll provide some support while I cure myself.
callie, sweetie, please don’t hesitate! I know how hard it is, when my doc first wanted to put me on meds I was devastated! I felt so humiliated, like I was a weak person. And when the meds actually worked, I refused to give them credit for it. I was determined that I had done it myself, becauset I’d always thought I could do everything on my own. So I got off, and boy did I learn my lesson! Going for help is a big thing, and yes, you might need some help getting there yourself. That’s what we’re here for. Don’t forget, the SDMB is a support system sent from heaven. Take advantage of us, and repay the favor sometime. It all evens out. There are so many people on the boards going through hard times and we all know what it’s like. We’ll send you e-mails and postcards to cheer you on and by leaning on us, you can do it. I suddenly turned into some Dear Soda person, what’s up with that? Maybe it’s because I’m so touched by the support I get that I want to give some back…
{{{{{{Soda}}}}}}
I’m sorry I couldn’t do this last night, but I was already in bed by the time you posted. I hope you think better late than never rather than lack of caring.
Like so many others, I do know what you’re going through right now. Exactly. I’ve had two, hour long plus conversations with friends about just how out of control I’m getting lately, how much the depression is bringing me down. I’d been on Welbutrin for 3 months and it did me wonders, but I moved and got a job without insurance, so I had to come off of it. (Sorry, but $200 a month for meds is something I just CAN’T afford) It’s really tough trying to hold yourself up by yourself. And sometimes you feel like a heel for burdening your friends with your problems. But, as I was told last night by a good friend, if they’re your friends, then they won’t back away when you need them. And keeping that in mind, my e-mail is always open. I even check my home mail from work and will forward it to my work addy to reply if the need arises. So feel free to use it, any time. I may not have even most of the answers, but I try to make a good shoulder to cry on, a good ear to listen… and I do know how impossible the task can feel sometimes.
My arms are always open for a hug, too. I’ve been told I’m good at that, as well as the others I’ve mentioned! 
soda Woohoo, you sound so much happier already! Isn’t this sort of like group therapy, coming here? Others are right; it takes courage & strength to admit you need help & ask for it. You go girl!
I think mrtcult may have been talking about not taking “recreational” drugs. If not, I’m glad you set him straight. :))
[hijack] DigitalMuse I’m on Celexa & Zoloft (Z alone didn’t do the trick.) The combo is great. I made the mistake of quitting lithium because the mood stabilizers made me feel like a zombie after a couple of years. Bipolar people miss the high, dammit! Current combo keeps me hyper but stable, so good luck with it. [/hijack.]
I’ve been on anti-depressants, and I can say that they have worked for me well (not on any right now). I hope you feel better soon.
The Internet is so new that I think it is difficult for people to categorize what the friendships developed here really are, but I believe they are true friendships, and think the technology that made it all possible is marvelous.
I am looking for a specific link on Emily Dickenson, whom I believe carried on a long-term correspondence with a man she never met, and yet she considered him to be a dear friend. Still looking for specific link, may have to get imthjckaz’s kids up and take them to school and look more later.
Soda, what you could use is a friend who has been through what you are going through, so they can show you how to get through it.
That’s ok. I have lots of free time.
in fact, one person believed that Dickenson wasn’t at all reclusive and that staying home and taking care of your parents and their home was perfectly normal for that time and place.
But I did want to stop back in here to post a link to Zenster’s thread about loving yourself, because I believe that is very important for people who aren’t feeling so hot about themselves.
My ISP decided to take a long break. Which was horrible, because I wanted to ge back here and blabber about my life and all that. But it was a blessing in disguise, because I’ve been active! Doing things! Yeay me! I started looking for a yoga class, but they were all midterm and since I’m about as flexible as a refrigerator, I decided to get a Yoga For Beginners video instead. I don’t need to look like a fool on top of everything else. I also called a few friends, and we’re going out for a few beers tonight. Nothing fancy, just beer and maybe pretzels. I called some other friends whom I haven’t talked to in a while, and it turns out that while I haven’t called them because I’ve been feeling so down, they haven’t called me because they’ve been feeling down too. So we’re getting together on Saturday to bake cinnamon rolls and compare notes.
TruePisces, it is expensive isn’t it? That’s one of the benefits of living in a socialist country, I don’t have to depend on insurance companies to help cover the costs of medicine. No one in Sweden ever have to pay more than $180/year for medicine. So you can imagine how it didn’t take long to get it for free. I think it’s sad that you can’t medicate because of your finacial situation. No one should have to give up medicine because they can’t afford it.
Carina, if it’s one thing I learned from this, it’s to never underestimate people. Even people you haven’t even met IRL.
Spider Woman, the meds are doing wonders for me. It generally takes a while for them to have any effect, but I’m feeling so much better already. Maybe it’s placebo, or willpower, but it doesn’t really matter. It works, that’s all.
handy, I have that. I just wasn’t aware of it.
And also, big hugs and smooches to Crunchy and Zenster for luverly postcards. You guys really make my day, you know that?
Thanks for the advice Soda. I’ll have to start doing something soon. Not every day is a bad day. Hanging out here is great - I laugh so much - especially now that I’m getting to know people. I’m so glad to hear that you are doing better - you sound a lot better. Eat a cinnamon roll for me tomorrow.
I’m sorry I didn’t get to your thread earlier, soda, but the important thing is that you’re feeling better about yourself and your life. You’re way too sweet, funny and dear to be down on yourself.
Sounds like you have an excellent approach to the meds; they’re just helping you cope while you heal yourself. I’m glad you’re enthused about the yoga idea. It’s good for body and spirit. I recently started working out, combatting the “winter pounds” that crept on and the “winter blahs”. It’s helped immensely. Seems like it blows away the cobwebs and gives rather than drains energy.
The important part is that you’re feeling more positive. We may just appear as characters on your monitor but there are real people behind the words. You’ve very wisely (IMO) chosen to get a little more immediate life balance but you can still count a lot of far-flung friends AS friends.
Wishing you all comfort and joy,
Veb
Glad to see things are looking up.
Hugs, Soda! I hope things continue to get better… but if they don’t we’re here for ya!! (not just a platitude! The truth!)
Still: don’t rule out friggin’ giving up and flying to Asia… worked for me!! I can give you a floor to sleep on while you look for work…