I thought I replied in the same spirit.
/slowclap
Why? They’re not doing any harm. Conversely, when your old ass is counting pennies out one…by…one, you’re actually actively making the world a worse place. But that’s what old people do, innit? “Fuck whoever is inconvenienced by being behind me at the store or on the interstate, I WAS HERE FIRST.”
Hey, I didn’t call them bitches. They gonna beat you with their shoe. Or with a Martin Luther King church fan. I swear, yall aint got no respect.
OK, that right there was just funny.
Wonderful timing for this thread. I broke up a “imma choke a bitch” fight today. An actual, honest to gosh slapfest with canes. Between two geriatric (black) women. Something about a comment one made about the other’s daughter not wearing a slip under her miniskirt in church. I mean…REALLY? :eek:
Then there were the prostitutes (not geriatric) in the elevator of the other Senior Home. I don’t think they were actually hooking today (it’s not the 3rd, social security checks haven’t arrived yet), but they were sniffing and rubbing at their noses rather suspiciously as they came down from the fifth floor.
Later, I got groped by an octogenarian as I tried to listen to his heart sounds. Again. And no, he’s not got dementia. He’s just a horndog and a jerk.
On the other hand, I also got to visit with Mother Jones, who is a hoot and a stitch and I just love her more than butter. She sings me church songs and tells me all about yoga this week. She wants to get a second hole pierced in each ear before her 95th birthday party in September, and asked me to find her a good tattoo and piercing place near her to have it done. I’m so going with her.
You broke that up? Instead of filming it for Youtube? What a waste.
Lawd, chile, they don’t play about wearing a slip under your skirt. I used to have a mean old saved, sanctified, filled with the holy ghost auntie, and the times we stayed the night at her house on a Saturday was the only times in my life that I wore a slip. She did not play.
I never used to appreciate old people until a few years ago I met a man who is a very good friend now. He enlightened me about the gems, jewels and great laughs I was missing by not talking with old folks. He had all his grandparents still, while most of mine were gone, but I borrow other people’s grandparents, now. I’m having dinner and a drink with MOL’s 91 year old dad tonight. Gonna wear my red dress and stilettos.
Better wear a slip!
Seriously, you best. Old people are also dead ass serious about wearing pantyhose to church. My mom would sooner die before she let me go to church without a slip and pantyhose. I’m pretty sure that counts as child abuse.
Sometimes no, I can’t. If my train pulls into the station at 6:49 and the bus to work is up the stairs and across the street and it leaves at 6:50 and the next one isn’t for 25 minutes (as in, exactly my situation today), then I’m running up the escalator.
I was just about to post about the pantyhose!
X1000, especially when they’re RIGHT THERE by the escalator. WTF indeed!
No kiddin’ just what the heck is the deal against Buicks? Here’s mine (well my year and model, my actual car is silver and still in the restoration process).
I was just about to post about lederhosen. I wish I could remember why.
I’m just gonna mostly borrow something from MsWhatsit, making minor corrections where necessary:
It’s [del]the middle[/del] anytime of the day, I’m driving somewhere, and some asshole in traffic is going 20 over/under the speed limit, drifting across the center line, driving with their turn signal on for 5 miles, or pulling some other bullshit traffic maneuver that shows a blithe ignorance that there are other cars sharing the road with them.
It is [del]almost[/del] always:
- A car with California plates, or
- A driver from California.
That’s how it is in Las Vegas, anyway.
I could of written the OP. But now I am the only one of the family to take my almost late stage ALZ mother out. Dollar store, Goodwill, grocery, whatever. I try to leave her some dignity when she pays, or is painfully slow-she’s deaf as well. And she say inappropriate things loudly. For that I have the handy dandy Alzheimers hand out cards. And I hear the sighs and moan when she’s slow and stupid, and all I can do is ignore them the best I can.
I see a lot of people my age with very aged parents in the stores, and I feel such empathy. I run at top speed all the time, but slow it waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy down with Mom-I have to. And sigh all you want, I am giving my Mom some kindness in the last few months/years she can go out.
No empathy…:smack:
So damn sorry to offend, I was emotional writing that. I will try not to offend your eyes any longer.
Harumph! Then you aren’t even close to being old because they start sending out that shit when you turn fifty. Um, if you were a black man being nearly fifty might statistically count you as old… :eek:
Really? Now, I’ve been practicing sos I’ll be ready.
(patting Chefguy’s hand) There there, dear. Some prune juice and Haley’s M-O will fix that right up.