I'm not his fucking mother!!

The BBQ Pit
1

yep, my first post in the pit, and yes, I do have PMS, so take that into consideration here…

What is it with some men, who cannot seem to do anything for themselves ?
Why does my husband ask me for things of his, asks me where it is, how the hell am I suppose to know - I don’t use it. Find it yourself.

Yes, I got myself a glass of water. Sorry I didn’t ask you if you wanted something from the kitchen…shoot me.
After all day of doing for others ( kids ) I forgot to ask what I could do for you too.

What’s with the garbage? Is it that hard to take out??
Why wait until it is overflowing to do something about it? Think if it sits long enough, the wife will take it out?
Thank YOU!

Can I make you a lunch, iron your shirt? Why, of course, I am here to please you… wait on you hand and foot, I am your servant. I do not evpect anyone to make my lunch, iron my clothes, I am a big girl, an adult, I can do shit myself.
I don’t expect anyone else to do it for me.

Yes, my husband is spoiled rotten, he knows it. I’m tired of it. It’s my fault. How can I stop this, just suddenly stop doing things for him??

Many times I do remind him that his mother didn’t show up today, he will have to do for himself… ouch, that hurts.

Yep, I’m bitchy, I’m pms’ing, and I’ve had a few beers, ahh I am feeling better already.

Someone get me some midol?

2

hands stormi midol and a glass of water

Hey join the club, but I still live with my parents, to them children = free slave labor. yes, I understand chores and bringing home good grades and all that stuff but having to run from the back of the back yard to the kitchen to the front yard because daddy wants a beer is not a good thing! Why do I have to get it? Yeah, dad, I enjoyed doing this… when I was 5!!! Alright I’ll go cool off now.

Kitty

3

Now, how stupid would a guy have to be to reply to this???

I do this. I do it because, if my stuff isn’t where it should be, it’s probably messing up the house and pissing off my wife in the process. She doesn’t mind (at least I don’t think she does), especially since it solves both of our problems.

BAM!!!

No, shoot him, another problem solved. :smiley:

Next time, just walk into the house and mention whatever woman’s problem is bothering you.* Better yet, make one up. I promise you, you will not have to talk to him for the rest of the night.

*…and in saying this, I realize how far I have stepped over the edge. Uh, just forget I said it… and forget that I could have deleted it in a preview. Anyway, just forget it…

Y’know, my wife and I have the same problem. I think it’s because we my wife thinks the trash is full when she can’t push the flap down. It’s really full when you can’t take the cover off and pack anything else in.

Yep, but don’t tell him I said so.

Oh, get it yourself! (ducks and runs)

4

You’re a brave man, cornflakes. I’ll make sure you get a decent burial. :smiley:

5

I’ve got kinda, sorta an opposite problem - my husband is CONSTANTLY cleaning up - unfortunately, to him, cleaning means he puts piles of stuff where he can’t see it. Nothing like digging thru the bottom of the hutch looking for bills… and HE’S the one who will go make himself a drink or a dish of ice cream without asking if I’d like some. And our dog sheds, but will HE get out the vacuum? naah - he’ll drag his foot across the rug and make a little pile of dog hair… and LEAVE it there…
He’s not spoiled, he just makes me crazy… At least he’s stopped asking me to make meals that his mother used to make…

6

Did his mother wait on him too?

I don’t know how to stop it once it’s well established, without causing WWIII. Unless maybe you could just “forget.” [“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot, guess you’ll have to get it yourself.”]

I like waiting on my s.o. occasionally, and he returns the favor. But it wouldn’t be fun if either of us expected it from the other.

Hope you feel better this morning.

-----:slight_smile:
—////\\

7

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, Mr. Scarlett is pretty good about sharing responsibilities around the house (irons his own clothes, for example; we wait on each other about equally and both say please and thank you), but he does have his “typical male” moments:

“Where are the widgets?” I show him the cupboard where we’ve kept the widgets for the last four years. Yes, dear, the uterus is a tracking device. (the only gag of Roseanne’s I’ve ever liked)

I’m cooking and I ask him to get the eye of newt out of the fridge for me. He can’t find it. I tell him it’s probably on the top shelf. He still can’t find it. I go and look. It’s on the top shelf, behind a jar of toe of frog. I give him The Look. :rolleyes: He says, “I didn’t know it was behind something.” Grrr.

8

My husband relies on my uterine tracking device, too. “Where’s the screwdriver? Where’s the scotch tape?”, etc. We have places for all of these things. Lately I’ve been saying “Where have you looked?” before helping. After I took a stand about the very same issues, he’s gotten a lot better. Every night for the past two weeks at dinner he’s said to me “Thanks a lot for making me dinner” in a very sincere way. He’s also thanked me for cleaning up stuff and doing laundery.

We do a “fifteen minute cleanup”. Here is the trick. Pick up all of your stuff that’s laying around. Announce that it’s “pick up” time. As he starts picking up, he’ll realize that it’s only HIS stuff that’s laying around, not yours. Eventually he gets the point, and if he doesn’t, at least he’s cleaning up after himself.

I was having major problems getting things checked off of his “to do” list. I was forced to make a list after he just was getting NO house chores done. Every Sunday is “bonus blowjob” Sunday. If he checks off just ONE THING on his list, he gets a bonus blowjob (meaning guarenteed) that Sunday. (He only does chores on the weekend). It’s working great, but it does seem sad that no amount of convincing, begging or crying worked. Blowjobs seem to be the key around these parts.

Anyway, retraining is possible, but don’t take out your frustration at his spoiled status on him- especially because YOU spoiled him. (I did the same thing) Just take it one thing at a time and you can retrain.

Oh, and I think it’s rude for EITHER person to go to get a drink without asking if the other person wants anything, but that’s just me.

Zette

9

Growly growl!!! I too have PMS & a boyfriend who seems to think that I am artificial Mom-flavored substitute.

The MOST IRRITATING thing he does it ask me to PACK HIS LUNCH. I personally began packing my own lunch when I was seven years old, & have not yet died of starvation or even had ricketts. Why can’t HE do it? Why is this MY job? This just pisses me off unbelievably. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!

He can’t find ANYTHING unless it’s right in front of his goddamn face. The flip side of this is that he never ever puts anything away since, if he does, he will never be able to find it again. When I put stuff away so our house does not look like a crackhouse, he accuses me of “hiding” his stuff. (Please don’t anybody jump down my throat about this, but he is quite dyslexic and I have wondered if his difficulty in finding thing si ssomehow related…anybody have any info on this?)

And GOD FORBID I should ever get myself anything to eat or drink without asking him if he wants some. Why must I be the one to offer? Why can’t he ASK ME if he wants something? My mind-reading skills are simply NOT what they used to be, & it would be really great if he could help me out with this one.

Also irritating: what a baby he is when he’s sick. My dad’s a doctor, so I grew up with a very clinical, matter-of-fact approach to illness. You don’t lounge in bed & have someone fluff your pillows, you take your medicine & get on with your life. (N.B. if you refuse to take any medication, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOU WHINING!! I don’t CARE if you are Southern Californian & think that “Western medicine” is insufficiently life-affirming or whatever.)

I really don’t mind that I do all the cleaning & most of the cooking, since my job is less stressful than his & he’s in grad school. & I know that his mom did NOT do those kinds of “mom things” for him when he was a kid, so maybe he’s trying to make up for lost time or something. But I would sure appreciate less whining!!

God it feels good to vent. Now if Fairy Princess Kitty could only send some of that Midol my way…

10

Well, I am glad to see that I am not alone here.

Cornflakes - could you please meet me in the alley on 67th and Broadway… I just have a few words… :stuck_out_tongue:

Zette - I am sure Sunday blowjob rewards would go over real well here, make 'em earn it !!

Scarlette - love the Roseanne line - my uterus is a tracking device too ! I also loved her line about cheetos -
like he can’t lift up the sofa cushion and get them himself !!
I guess I just get moody, or feel overworked sometimes.
What’s frustrating is like asking me if we have any ketchup - before even opening the fridge to look… I mean, come on, does he think I keep an inventory in my head of all the condiments?!!
And his wallet… I do not know where it is, I do not use it. Why should I be expected to find it?
Getting a drink from the kitchen - yes, I will sometimes ask him if he wants something, and he will do the same, but there are times when I am not in the mood to do for others, because I have spent all day doing that, I just want my glass of water!!
Don’t get me wrong - I DO do alot for this man - he gets breakfast in bed occasionally ( when I’m in a goooood mood ) - and I fold his underwear for goodness sakes. Just don’t get pissed when I feel like I don’t feel like waiting on you dear!

I guess I should be more thankful ( midol kicking in now?)
I have a husband who works his butt off for the family,has given the kids and I a wonderful home and life.

Better go - got to take the garbage out.

11

Am I the only guy who does most of the chores for his woman? Sure, she doesn’t sound nearly as bad as some of your husbands, but I still do most of the work. If the cats have an accident, I usually clean it up. It’s me scrubbing the toilet every Saturday. I put the dirty dishes that she leaves around the house away.

She does do chores and such, but I just feel like I do a lot more of them. Any suggestions from the womenfolk about this one?

MR

12

Amen sister!

My husband and I both work full time, so clearly it is only fair that we do equal amounts of housework. I must say he does the laundry every week, and it is great to just open my drawer and have plenty of clean underwear - it’s like magic! He also mows the lawn, but not quite as consistently.

Technically, he is supposed to clean our bathroom, too. He sure does - every 4 months whether it needs it or not! This is the main problem with most men - they are dirt-blind. What is horrifically dirty to a wife is not even noticeable to the husband.

Also, I make dinner and do the dishes, while he sits on the couch watching TV - he always complains that I never bring him a drink with his dinner. Gee, couldn’t you drag your ass into the kitchen for two minutes and get yourself a drink?

I think I might try the Bonus Blowjob system - I bet it works great.

BTW, my favorite Roseanne line is, “My husband said I should be more aggressive in bed, so last night he reached for me and I said, ‘NOOOOOOOOOO!!!’”

13

Quote: Sunday is “bonus blowjob” Sunday.

You mean to tell me that this guy only does ONE thing on the list and he gets a BONUS BJ??!!??! A WEEK??? And bonus typically means “in addition to the regular”!!!
I mean he has the ability to get more than 4 blowjobs a YEAR!!!
AAAAAAAHHHHHRRRGGGGGG.

I’m gonna start holding out for at least a blow job for every oil change I do. hmmm. Her van, 4 months or 4,000 mi. Add her motorcycle and that comes out to- Wahooo!! 6!! Yup 6 blowjobs a year! Man I’m gonna enjoy this!

Hey Zette, got any extra jobs to do?

later, Tom

14

I have a question for the ladies: why is it only housework that counts? Many of us spend a good portion of our weekend morning pushing an 80 lb. lawnmower over a space larger than the square footage of the carpeting, and then follow up with walking around the perimeters of the house, trees, swingset, mailbox, driveway, and sidewalks with a 30 lb. edger. Every other day we walk around with a 10 lb. bag of fire-ant killer hunting for the signs of a new colony. Yet when we come back in the house, grass- and sweat-covered, having cleaned the garage, washed the pine pollen and sap off the cars, and repainted the doghouse, we are asked why we haven’t defrosted and cleaned the freezer, vacuumed, folded our underwear, cleaned up your cat’s hairballs and litterbox, toothbrushed the grout in the shower, done your french braid, and gone to the store to replenish your supply of chocolate and maxi-pads.

Excuse me. I’m dirty, I’m sweaty, and you’re bitching that I haven’t done enough? Why doesn’t work outside the house count as helping with the household? I do the laundry, you fold it. I cook–within your diet-of-the-week, none of which include flavor, I might add–you do the dishes. I take care of the outside, you expect me to do 50% of the inside too… OK, maybe this one’s directed at my wife, who thankfully doesn’t read this board. But maybe there’s a valid point or two somewhere in here that could be answered.

15

I got so sick oh my husband asking me where things were i developed a standard response: “It is in my cunt.”

I did not mind it when i kept the house, but since he took over the housekeeping, it began to piss me off. He is the one that puts 99% of things away, he is the one that hides it, so why ask me where it is? He obviously thinks i am hiding what ever it is. (Just to spice things up, i do hide some things on him, but never in the place i tell him.) So i tell him it is in my built in hiding place, my cunt. I was dropped off at home once and he asked where my car was so i told him that too was in my cunt. Responses like this lead to the the song, “The whole world is in her cunt!”

My hubby does wait on me a lot and really seems to enjoy it. I know i enjoy it and do my best to make it worthwhile and let him know i appreciate it.

16

/hijack

Ummmm… Were you hoping I wasn’t going to read this particular thread? >:( At least you had the decency to mention the fact that yes, I do do chores. Though not as often as you do, because you are really anal about chores. And I clean up cat puke as often as you do.

So I have some advice for you: move out!

/end hijack

17

What is it with men and finding stuff?
My husband will ask, “Where is such-and-such?”
I can answer, “In the hall closet, third shelf, on the right…you might have to MOVE something to find it.” He still can’t find it; I find him with the closet door open, just standing there, waiting for whatever he was looking for to jump out at him. This despite the fact that we’ve lived here for 7 years, and all the stuff is in the same place it’s been for 7 years.
I love when he goes to do the checkbook and pay bills. He ALWAYS asks where the bills are for this month. I always answer, “They’re in the den, on the desk, in the in-box labeled ‘Bills’, right where they ALWAYS are, every freaking month.”

I even have an organizer in the kitchen junk drawer. I always know where stuff is…unless he’s taken it and not put it back. I put up one of those pegboards in the garage for tools. Are they ever where they should be? Only if I have recently straightened them up, they are.

Being sick…my hubby will complain about being sick or having a headache. Moaning and groaning, telling me how bad he feels. TAKE A FREAKING ASPIRIN OR SOME TRIAMINIC AND GO TO BED, IDIOT!!! As Stella*Fantasia said, you take your medicine and get on with your life. How hard it that to understand? Oh, yeah, he can’t FIND the aspirin or Triaminic. It’s in the hall closet, second shelf, on the left side, right where the medicine has been for 7 freaking years!

Laundry. I swear my hubby thinks we have laundry fairies who will come in and pick up dirty clothes from wherever they may be, wash it, fold it, and magically it reappears in his drawers and closet. When I ask him to put the dirty stuff in the hamper, he takes it to the hamper and lays it on top. How lazy is that? You got it TO the hamper, all you have to do is open the lid and drop it in.

In Mr. Kinsey’s defense, he does do nearly all the yardwork, all the car maintenance, and is quite handy at home repairs and remodeling. When he can find his tools, that is…

18

Hey stofsky, it isn’t just housework that counts, at least not for me. I am the designated lawn mower at my house. I also change his oil. (Fortunately, we live in a fire ant-free area.) So much for the standard division of labor…

19

for a better model. lived with a guy for approximately 5 years. tried every which way to convince him that it would be to our advantage if he helped out around the house. i even converted a large storage/bookshelf into a place to keep clothing because it was too difficult for him to put his clothes in drawers. logic didn’t work, sex, nagging, anger, passivity…none of it worked. we decided it would be best if we took our separate ways. (obviously there was more going on…but his no work all play power trip was a big part of it)

my new model comes with a few special features: dishwashing, laundry, taking out the garbage, and an organization feature. oh, and did i mention it cooks! and, he tells me how wonderful i am regardless of my mood swings, which significantly improves my mood swings.

i would rant about my ex, but he’s not worth it.

i DO ask my s.o. where my stuff is sometimes because i have a habit of forgetting where i put things, and my hope is that he just may have seen whatever it is lying about. however, i don’t expect him to know, it’s just a part of my search and rescue technique. and, i always feel guilty because i’m the messy one, but i try not to be.

20

**EXACTLY why this works. **

Grog husband brain: “One chore- blowjob. No chore, no blowjob. Grunt. Do chore”

Zette brain “He finally hung up the house number I bought three years ago! If I’d only known!”

Things are going good now!
I don’t expect him to do regular chores, as he has a very demanding job and I don’t. In fact, I work part time (health reasons) so I do all errands, etc. Sometimes when I get really overwhelmed I say “Honey- tomorrow you’ll have to get your own dinner. I’m taking the day off”, then I do. I go someplace else, relax and regroup. This keeps me from strangling him for asking “Do we have a wine glass?” or other stupid stuff.

At MY house, I do all lawn maintainence. I also arrange for snow removal, so my husband can’t use this bit. My husband spends a good portion of HIS weekend on his motorcycle or playing guitar. He never used to “find the time” to do any of his jobs.

I love him, and now I know. The way to a mans chore list is Bonus Blowjob Sunday. It’s an absolute guarentee. That list is getting shorter every week, I can tell you that much!

Zette
The Negotiator