I still haven’t received my absentee ballot as of today, and it’s too late to be able to receive it and send it back at this point. I am absolutely furious! It makes me just want to scream, “GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING HORSE SHIT!!!” I want to vote, I earnestly want to. I’ve done everything in my power to try to vote in this election short of flying home to cast my ballot. Let me break down the timeline for you:
September 16: I file a request with the Gwinnett County Elections and Voter Registration Office (GCEVRO).
September 19: My absentee ballot is sent out (according to an online service available in Georgia whereby you can check the status of your absentee ballot, and also according to speaking to numerous people on the phone).
September 26: I email the GCEVRO inquiring as to how long absentee ballots typically take to reach their recipients.
September 29: I receive a reply from the GCEVRO informing me to contact them again at the end of the week if the ballot still hadn’t arrived.
October 1: I send another email to the GCEVRO to let them know that I left a digit off of my street address. Admittedly, this was a serious error on my part. I include the corrected address in this email.
October 7: I receive a reply from the GCEVRO informing me that the absentee ballot was returned by the Post Office this day, but that it was being immediately sent back out to the corrected address.
October 21: I still have not received my absentee ballot. I send another email to the GCEVRO informing them of this.
October 22: I call the GCEVRO and speak to someone on the phone, informing them of my problem. I am then told that their system shows that my ballot was issued on September 19 (which I already know, I’ve checked the database myself). I am asked for my name and number and then told that someone will get back to me in 24-48 hours.
October 24: I have not heard back from the GCEVRO. I call them back to inquire as to the status of my absentee ballot. The person on the phone says that he sees that I called two days ago and tells me that someone is investigating the issue and that I should just wait to hear back from them. He says there is nothing more they can do for me.
October 27: I call the GCEVRO office and ask again about the status of my absentee ballot. I am asked again for my name and number, as if I have fallen off the queue over the weekend. Again I am told the expect a response within 24-48 hours.
October 29: I call the GCEVRO office and ask again about the status of my absentee ballot. I am asked again for my name and number, as if my name was never put down only two days ago. Again I am told the expect a response within 24-48 hours.
October 30: I receive a phone call from the GCEVRO. The caller tells me that my ballot was returned by the Postal Service as undeliverable. As this seems unusual, I ask the caller to read the address listed on the envelope. It is indeed the correct address of my residence. The caller then says that the ballot will go out in tomorrow’s mail, rush delivery.
October 31: I check the mail when I get back from work and find that there is no absentee ballot present.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! WHY the FUCK was the letter returned undeliverable a second time? I cannot exercise one of my most fundamental rights because someone somewhere screwed up. I hope whoever it is chokes on donkey ejaculate. I literally cannot vote in this election because someone is incompetent. There is a vessel of vitriolic animosity inside me, and the pressure is building. I am livid. I have nothing but rancorous feelings towards the entire Postal Service and the GCEVRO. I’m going to carpet bomb the office of every politician in Georgia with letters expressing these feelings (but I will do so in a more civilized, articulate fashion so the letters don’t get tossed out for profanity and incoherence).
My ONLY consolation is that McCain will probably win Georgia anyway. But I swear, if Obama loses Georgia by one vote, I will have a vendetta. I won’t harm anyone, physically at least, but someone will have to answer some very uncomfortable questions.