In some conditions (cystic fibrosis is a great example) there are many, many “bad” versions of the gene. The test may only test for the most common ones. As such false negative rates are fairly high.
Net result is a lot of cases are missed by the screening program. And even with a relatively low false positive rate many times more parents are needlessly worried than actual cases of cystic fibrosis are identified.
Yes - bottom line is that generally a screen is not a test, it’s just a “pre-test” to determine if a real, more accurate test (that may have higher risks) is warranted.
Welcome to the club. I thought I was ready, then I found out I am having twins! I think pregnancy always has a way of surprising you.
My favorite book to read was the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy because its informative without freaking you out. I also love The Pregnancy Journal which has places for you to record your thoughts and feelings, as well as cross-cultural information on pregnancy and childbirth. My favorite websites to visit are Baby Center and r/babybumps. Baby Center is where I go when I want information or to see pictures of how my babies are developing. R/babybumps is the sanest community I’ve found for expectant mothers. So many online communities are full of crazies.
As for what you need, a lot of friends swear by Baby Bargains. I just asked a bunch of friends and family members what they really used and went from there. I also use amazon ratings to pick out what looks best.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: I hated my first trimester. Hated it. I had a lot of women come tell me in secret how much they hated certain parts of their pregnancy. You may get an easy one, you may get a hard one. Don’t feel as though you are less of a woman or doing it wrong because you are miserable. I recently hit 16 weeks and it’s starting to get better, but I still prefer not being pregnant by a vast amount. Despite my misery, I wouldn’t give up my boys!
I had no idea about any of that baby stuff either and we planned ours. It’s awesome and scary and hard and amazingly wonderful. Being pregnant is a breeze compared to having a newborn, but that gets better every day, except for the days that it doesn’t.
All this advice will probably go right over your head though, it’s like trying to describe colors. You simply have no frame of reference for what it is to have a baby until you do. My husband and I keep saying to each other “No one told us it would be so hard!” but I’m sure people did. But “It’s really hard” is just words, having a baby on your boob literally all day because it’s the only thing keeping everyone from a meltdown is hard. Being terrified that your baby isn’t gaining weight and it’s your fault is hard. Being told to call 911 by the nurse line when you called for a simple diaper rash question is hard. (Cooler heads prevailed on the last thing- the doctor was paged and everything was totally fine. Nurse lines are just extremely conservative.)
My baby is 2 months old and I’m just starting to relax. Still checking her when she’s napping to see that she’s still alive, but Dopers assured me that I’ll keep doing that until she’s an adult. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and my husband. You can do it, just trust yourself.
Two things from my experience (though this thread will be long from your head in 8 months): have newborn size disposable diapers on hand for when your baby comes home, even if you think you’re going to cloth diaper. I could have swaddled my baby in those cloth diapers. And have newborn size clothes- 0-3 month clothes are too big unless you have yourself a 10 pounder. Which god help you if you do.
Yeah, the first trimester can really be a big ball o’ suck. Morning sickness is not uncommon. Fatigue is really common. Some women have to pee all the damn time. You might get hormonal and weepy or angry for no reason. Some women get acne. Your breasts might be sore. You might get food cravings and/or aversions. I didn’t get acne, but I got the rest of it.
It’s a catch-22, too. If you don’t get symptoms in your first trimester, you’ll find people saying that’s because your hormone levels aren’t right for pregnancy, and you’re more likely to have a miscarriage (possible, but there are definitely cases of women having few symptoms in the first trimester and going on to have a healthy baby). You can’t win. There is no such thing as a perfect pregnancy.
Just remember, this too shall pass. Do what you need to to get through it, as long as that doesn’t involve doing anything that your OB and reasonable scientific studies say will harm you or the baby.
There is no test that your OB can do that will tell you if your baby will be OK. If you come up with one, patent it, you’ll get rich (assuming your definition of OK is reasonably in line with most other people’s). There are various things they can and will test for, but there is stuff they can’t rule out.
There is generally no point in worrying about anything you did or didn’t do in the past, or before you knew you were pregnant. There’s nothing you can do about it now, unless you have a time machine (in which case, can I please please pleeeeease borrow it?). This applies to things like drinking alcohol or eating swordfish before you knew you were pregnant. All you can really do is not do it again now that you know you’re pregnant. If there’s something you can’t do anything about, let it go, there’s no point in worrying about it.
I have had to remind myself during my pregnancy that I am not keeping my baby alive through the sheer force of my worry and thinking about her. Really, that’s not how it works.
Yeah. I’ve been trying to get them to put a smart phone or a Kindle up there, so my baby could read some of the books and web sites about babies and know what she’s supposed to be doing, but they won’t do it!
Newborns are really easy compared to a three year old. Actually, it gets a lot tougher as soon as they become mobile. Then more when they learn they can ask for stuff…then it gets easier again as they learn to do more and more things by themselves (my daughter is finally at the age she can go get me a can of pop or a snack. )
But I agree with you that the newborn stage (especially for a first child) is definitely the most nervewracking…worrying about SIDS, every little cold, etc…it can take a lot out of you, but it is really awesome. Being a dad is the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I know the vast majority of parents feel the same way (even those who originally didn’t plan to have kids).
In this culture we’re entirely too fast to go “Pregnant? BABY! squeeeeee!” without regard to the fact that not every pregnancy is a welcomed or good thing. I’ve known women who were thrilled to have a surprise pregnancy, and others who came under significant pressure to NOT get an abortion.
There are plenty here cheerleading staying pregnant and having the kid, it’s not a crime for some of us to mention she should consider all alternatives. Or did you blaze past the part where I said it’s perfectly OK for her to have changed her mind?
ALL ancestry puts you at some risk, everyone has the potential to carry a bad gene or genes.
If it’s a disease that there is treatment for or something can be done for by all means go ahead, but if you decided you’re dead-set against an abortion don’t allow yourself to be pressured into tests where the only “solution” is to end the pregnancy.
Goddamn it! Don’t you realize I have my first wedding dress fitting in a week? Do you have any idea how much it’s going to cost to try to predict how much we’ll need to let it out? Why didn’t anybody tell me?!
Seriously, would you believe I’ve been reading “should I have a baby?” stuff all day?
Maybe I should drop by the drug store on the way home. Before I have that post-work glass of wine. And call the doctor to remove the IUD from my zygote’s forehead.
Newborns are really easy compared to a three year old. Actually, it gets a lot tougher as soon as they become mobile. Then more when they learn they can ask for stuff…then it gets easier again as they learn to do more and more things by themselves (my daughter is finally at the age she can go get me a can of pop or a snack. 