So long story short, I had a raging ear infection in both ears after a SCUBA trip. I was on antibiotics for 3 months and apparently my guy and I were careless. I was a few days late (but my cycle has been all over the place for a year) and decided to take a test. I never thought in a million years I was actually pregnant.
I am 34 and my boyfriend is a good deal older than me. We have been together for years and living together the past 2 but we just never got around to the marriage part.
Regardless, we are both utterly freaked out. I can tell we try to be all smiles and cool to support each other in person, but I am barely keeping it together. We love kids, but we had decided long ago that we did not want any of our own.
The past 24 hours have been so life changing…I feel like most of plans for the future just got rewritten. And I know I sound pathetic and whiny, but I feel like if I open my mouth I am going to let out the internal blood curdling scream that I am stiffling.
I went to the clinic near my office and got vitamins, and I have an OBGYN appt in 2 days, but basically I know NOTHING about babies/toddlers/kids. I dont know about car seats, feedings, or baby furniture. I dont know what to do when a baby is screaming and not hungry or wet. I dont know about any of this!
I am trying so hard to remind myself, women have been doing this for years, and also to not jump ahead and just handle each day, but honestly, I feel like I am walking around in a dream like state of confusion.