So I might be pregnant

And I really don’t want to be. The date of my last period was April 27, and I haven’t had another one yet, so that makes me a week or so late. I’m not sure what else it could be; my sleep schedule this week has been a bit messed up (I read that a change of schedule could mess with the menstrual cycle), but I’m not banking on that being the cause. I’ve tried not to freak out about it all week, since stress and worry just prevent menstruation from happening. But I’m really losing hope here. I’ll take a pregnancy test tomorrow, and if it so happens that I’m pregnant, I’ll definitely get an abortion. No big deal, right? Yet I still feel panicked every time I think about this. I don’t look forward to getting one, but it’s the only option for me. I’ve never had to deal with a missed period before, and I’m pretty freaked out. :frowning:

Here’s hoping there’s some other, benign reason you’re late, and that you don’t have to deal with it beyond that. But if you do, I wish you the best of luck.




Good luck to you, and take care of yourself.

Here’s hoping your cycle is just screwed up. Stress and other changes can definitely mess with it.

I know it’s easier said, but try not to stress out too much. A couple of years ago, mine was 3 weeks late and I wasn’t pregnant. (Insert sneak brag about seeing a 24-year-old at the time so it could have been really complicated) And a few months ago my bff had one that was 3 weeks late, too. Apparently you can have random months where you just don’t ovulate, and that messes everything up. I knew I wasn’t pregnant, because I had absolutely no other signs, and every time I have been pregnant, I knew it before I’d even missed my period. At any rate, you know it will be okay, no matter what, even though it could be difficult and/or emotional.

I was over two weeks later with my last period. I’m not menopausal and don’t have sex with men, so put it down to either chance or being in a new relationship and having lots of love and sex hormones coursing through my body and confusing it; the same thing happened to me in my last two serious relationships. Don’t suppose that chimes with you at all? Given that you think you might be pregnant…

Sometimes late periods are also the result of very, very early miscarriages. Nothing to be concerned about for long-term fertility as a one-off occurrence (if that’s a concern for you). Either way, your uterus has had at least a week longer to build up its lining so your period might be heavier than usual.

Hope your result is negative if you do have to take a test tomorrow. If not, it’d be an early abortion, not involving surgery, assuming you can get an appointment quickly; it’d be like a really heavy period, physically, and people I know who’ve done it are generally not upset by it if, like you, they’re certain it’s the wrong time for them to be pregnant. And lots and lots of women have done it, including many you’d never have expected to.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, so it’s not a new relationship. I’m not too concerned with future fertility; I actually plan to get my tubes tied as soon as I can afford it (which probably won’t be for a while). Objectively, I know that having an abortion isn’t “murder”, since it’s just a bunch of cells, but the word itself is so heavy and divisive that I’ll probably get emotional no matter what.

It’s okay to be emotional about it and it’s okay to feel how you feel about the pregnancy. For some women, this can be a fairly casual decision (though it does involve a medical procedure, and that’s never a laughing matter) and for others is very hard or impossible. There are no wrong answers here, so long as you are going with what’s right for you.

I hope it’s just a hormonal wonkiness so that you don’t have to deal with anything more complicated and potentially difficult.

Here’s to hoping you’re not pregnant. And if you are, it will…well, it will pass.

Best of luck!

But at least, if you are pregnant and do have to have an abortion, it’ll be early enough that it really will be just a bunch of cells and also the hormonal load will be different - I mean, you know how your hormones affect you emotionally over the course of the month; having a sudden hormonal change like you do with an abortion can really affect your emotions no matter your logical feelings on the topic. The earlier you can get the appointment, the better.

But it’s obviously not completely straightforward for you, even if you’re planning on having your tubes tied. You wouldn’t have started this thread otherwise. Even when an act is completely the right thing to do something it doesn’t really feel it.

How would your BF feel about it?

He would be fine with my choice, since he knows it’s ultimately up to me. I have never wanted kids and doubt that I ever will, and just being pregnant seems like an awful experience (nausea, moodiness, fatigue). I know some women like it but I have a hard enough time with moodiness and tiredness. Getting an abortion, if I have to, will be the right decision in every way. I’m still sort of dreading it, though; I’m not sure I can handle it financially, either.

If I but had the magic wand, your “…please f-cking NO!” would be so. Either way & no matter what, may I be allowed to say that you are a great poster, a terrific writer, and that nothing about this should change this? If you have a little one,
I insist on being so very rude as to hope that we will still find you here posting, no matter what.

Or whom. :wink:

((( platonic hug )))

it’s the cat’sul

If you weren’t dreading it, I’d be worried about you. It’s a huge decision. It requires a lot of thought. Knowing a decision is the correct one does not always make it the easiest one.


You don’t have to justify your choice to anyone, or how you feel about being pregnant.

Good luck, hope it all goes the best it can go.

Well, I hope you’re not.

I once had a change of schedule kick my perfect record of “32d and 6h, except on the equinoxes (shuffles forward one week in September, backward another in March)” into the land of “any time between 20 and 45 days”, so it can happen and in very large amounts.

(Yes, really, my body kept Summer and Winter calendars for over 20 years)

If you are pregnant and decide to get an abortion, the longer you wait to deal with this, the worse and more expensive it will be. Here’s what an abortion would cost in my neck of the woods. (Weeks LMP is weeks from your last period, so you’re at 5 weeks now) Note that the cost goes up the longer you wait. I know you don’t want to deal with it now, but it isn’t a problem that will go away or get better if you ignore it.

A home pregnancy test would be very likely to be positive now if you are pregnant. Dollar Tree has good home pregnancy tests for $1. Here’s hoping it’s negative.

Just chiming in to say that you could be late for any number of reasons, and I hope you’re not pregnant, but if you are, and you want to talk about having an abortion, I’m happy to answer questions, either here or in PMs.

I’m all for choice being a complete personal issue with the mother. I don’t know how old you are, but I’m 54 now and over time in the past I have dated several women in their 40’s who had no kids and had abortions when younger (some more than one). About half of these women, for a number of complex reasons, really really wished they could have a do over and now wanted kids, the other half were perfectly happy the way things were.

Whether they were influenced by their peers with kids, or it it was some late kick on a biological drive, or they felt a space in their heart that was unfilled the reality was that they had these strong feelings of … I guess “incompleteness” would be the best description. If a kid is out of the question that’s that, but if you are considering the possibility of a child your feelings on the matter may change with time. The feelings these women had about it when they had the abortion and how they felt about it later underwent a sea change.

Wondering if you might be pregnant and hoping you’re not is right up there among the worst feelings in the world. ((Stauderhorse)) I’m wishing you the best of luck.