Is She Pregnant

One of my very close friends is terrified right now that she might be pregnant. I feel absolutely horrible for her and I really, really don’t want her to have an abortion. I don’t know enough about how a woman’s body behaves to tell if she’s having an off-month or if she’s pregnant.

The last time she and her boyfriend were together was the weekend of July 17, or about three weeks ago. They were “less than careful” one night, thanks mostly to someone else purchasing shots at the bar.

The second week of the month is normally her rag week. She’s experienced the cramps and other stuff that accompany it, but ol’ Aunt Flo has yet to visit. That makes her almost a week late now. As far as I know, her breasts have not become swollen or tender nor is she nauseated in the mornings. She will be purchasing a pregnancy test as soon as she gets paid this Friday.

I know it’s a very individual thing, but what do you guys think…is she probably pregnant?

Statistically speaking, I would say prolly not. Ihe chances of impregnation during any single instance of intercourse are low. Statistically speaking.

I’m afraid the only way to tell is by taking a home pregnancy test. They have ones that you can take as soon as 5 days before your period is due.

Because women’s bodies are all so different, and can even behave differently month to month just going on symptoms and even lack of an expected period isn’t going to get you the conclusive answer you need. Nausea usually kicks in after the 6th week of pregnancy (4 weeks after conception) so lack of that symptom isn’t very conclusive either.

A pregnancy test is only about $7, maybe you or another friend can loan her the $$ until she gets paid? Or she can go to Planned Parenthood who are great folks in this type of situation, whether the mom is pro-choice or pro-life.

Good luck


Unfortunately, one of the evil things out bodies do to us is delay our periods when we’re stressed out. If you friend is completely freaked out, find somebody who’s got ten bucks for a kit. A negative test may be the only way she’ll relax. Does your school have a clinic? If not hie thee to Planned Parenthood. They have sliding scale donations designed for the young and poor.

Guy speaking, sorry.

My wife, when she was on birth control, could have set her watch to her period, it was that predictable. When she stopped, her dates ranged to 7-10 days either way.

Many things can delay your friends period, not the least of which is stressing over whether she’s pregnant or not.

I really, really don’t think that is your decision to make, and I really, really hope that if she is faced with an unintended pregnancy which she does not wish to continue, that you allow her and her partner to make that decision between themselves without your personal feelings being interjected.

That having been said, if it’s been at least three weeks since their last unprotected sex, a test in theory should be accurate, and she should get herself to a Planned Parenthood, where she can have a test done in a couple minutes, and have all her options reviewed, both in regards to an unintended pregnancy, and for birth control.

What do you take me for? It’s obviously not my decision. I’m interjecting my feelings here becaues it doesn’t hurt her feelings here. I meant I hope she ain’t pregnant so she doesn’t have to get one. I’m here seeking a little bit of experience from older and hopefully wiser people than myself to see if she should even really be worried yet.

I know her circumstances and if she’s preggo, then baby will go. She’s probably going to be an emotional wreck. That’s what I’m really, truly concerned about… her state if she has to have an abortion.

Ahem. How many times do you think it DOES take to impregnate?

Pregnancy test’s the only decent way to tell. I’ve talked to some women whose periods are only ever late if they’re worried about being pregnant…

It can take one, of course. But line up 1000 men and women and have them go at it once, then count the number of pregnancies as a result of this one (times 1000 couples) coupling, and you may begin to understand my statement.

This line struck me as an extremely clever and courteous thing to do. If you’re afraid of saying the wrong think in front of your friend, better it be on a message board full of strangers who have no impact on your relationship.

This site seems rather legit, and it says that

That being said, many women (and girls) tend to have sexual intercourse while ovulating, since many women get a bit extra horny at that time, and the chances go up from 3%.

UncleBill, I bow to your cite. It’s just something I’m a little sensitive about…

If your friend turns out to be just late, not pregnant, perhaps you could kindly suggest to her that in the future she should keep the intimate details about her reproductive cycle and her sex life to herself. Look at all the stress she is causing you, and look at how much more stress you will have if she is pregnant, and if she does decide to end the pregnancy. It is possible to be very good friends with someone and not share this kind of information. It spares everyone a lot of angst. It is also not a good idea to blab to all and sundry this type of information. People who are your friends now may not be your friends next week, and a woman puts herself in a vulnerable position by being too open and honest. 5, 10, 20 years down the road she may not want this personal issue brought up at inopportune times by one-time aquaintances. Some issues in our lives, even if painful to deal with on our own, are better dealt with by only the parties directly involved, or with the aid of professionals paid to be disceet.

If your friend is typical, she would ovulate on the 14th day after the start of her last period. The egg only lives for 24 hours, and once it is dead, it is too late. Sperm can live an average of 3 days in the vaginal tract prior to ovulation to cause pregnancy. How old is your friend exactly? The younger a woman is, the more likely it is for her to have fertile mucus where that 3 days is a serious problem. (I am guessing she is young…) When was the first day of her most recent period? If it was July 3rd, odds are very good she is pregnant given her age. “The second week of every month” is awfully vague. If it was after the 3rd but before the 7th of July, she isn’t out of the woods, but it is not as likely that she is. If it was later than the 7th, she is probably late due to stress or something else and very unlikely to be pregnant. I am a firm believer that women tend to sync their periods with other women. I was always really regular except when I would start hanging out with new people. Then I would be a little late or early for a few months until we would get our periods together.

If you don’t believe me, read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weshler. Everything a girl needs to know about how to avoid or get pregnant.

I very much appreciate it guys. Y’know, that $14.95 looks better and better the longer I stay.

So, is she? It’s payday today, right?

Payday is Friday. She’ll find out then.

I asked her what her instincts told her. A woman’s got that intuition, usually. She wasn’t sure. That could go either way, I guess, good or bad. But we’ll see.

I guess it would be sort of mean for me to leave you guys hanging now that I’ve already aired her dirty laundry and piqued ya’ll’s curiosity…

I’m really only here to suggest your friend use an EPT pregnancy test.

Also, don’t consider it rude if you leave us hanging, or whatever. Yeah, we’re interested now, but you really shouldn’t feel as though you have to tell us what happens (especially what happens after the test results are in). If you decide it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay.

Good thoughts to her, and to you also. It’s a rough place to be, I’m sure.

Not always. I was 2 months along before it finally clicked.