Whenever I ruminate on something embarrassing, I push the thoughts out of my head by spontaneously “singing” This Old Man in my head. I thought I was the only one to do this, but I recently learned my daughter does it, too. Only in her case, it is the I Love You song from Barney–same tune.
See my previous post (#36.) Apparently I’m NOT the only one who does this! 
When I ruminte on something embarassing, I switch to French (and I am not a native speaker). I don’t know why: emotional distance?
Whenever a vendor in Skyrim or Rifts ends the conversation with “Until next time…” I say “… on the Muppet Show! YAYYYYY!”
So awesome. Love. Will take up immediately.
I thought of another one I’m pretty sure NO ONE except my mom, sister or me, does. On occasion, when I arrive at my destination I recite (in somewhat of a 1950s kid’s Saturday morning cowboy adventure voice)…“Here we are, it’s the end of the ride, Pete and his gang are waitin’ inside”. If I’m feeling particularly silly, I’ll recite all of the way up to what I remember nowadays (I used to know most of it).
Here we are, it’s the end of the ride,
Pete and his gang are waitin’ inside.
Here’s my plan be as quiet as a mouse,
I’LL sneak in while you surround the house.
Now you count 'em as I throw ‘em out!
BASH, BOFF! BANG! crash, SMASH!
(make sound of whistling before something hits the ground)
(Make sound of something hitting the ground).
Wunnnnnnn?
Quit countin’, it’s me!
My granddaughter gets a huge kick out of it, and I’m spreading the silliness to yet another generation. It’s from an old kid’s record my mom used to listen to when she was a kid. Wild Bill Hiccup by Spike Jones (our version has, of course, been slightly modified over the years).
Every time I leave the house I tell the pets when I’ll be home and that “I love all of you.”
It’s from when I had my first apartment alone - I made myself a superstition that if I didn’t tell the cats when I’d be back that something bad would happen to me and I wouldn’t return at all, and if that DID happen then at least the last words I said to them would be “I love you.”
I clean my ears by holding q-tips in both hands, and digging in, in the same direction, in both ears at once. Grap q-tips, swirl around the ear with one end, flip through fingers to access other end, repeat.
I work as an English/Japanese interpreter. When meeting people for the first time at work, instead of introducing myself as the interpreter, I smile and say, “Hello! I speak jive” and then start interpreting.
Either one of my legs is longer than the other, or my sloppy posture has resulted in some misalignment; I often find myself standing on one foot, with my other leg bent slightly, creating a pelican-like stance that friends find amusing. It’s not always the same foot, either. Buh.
I’ve had “Born Free” stuck in my head for about twenty years. I learned it for sight singing in a music theory course in college. The first two notes are a descending fourth, so when we had to sing that interval we were taught to imitate (in whichever key it was) those lyrics in your head. Now, when I’m not listening to music or have some other ear worm going on, I will, on occasion, suddenly hear “booooorrrnnn freeee” in my head. I don’t even know the rest of the song, except for “as free as the wind blows…”
I don’t think anybody else has Born Free pop into their heads in quiet moments.
It could be worse: I hear the Happy Wanderer Song in my head when I’m walking. “Val de ri, val de ra, my knapsack on my back…” 
Wanna bet?
No, but there’s a ski run (at Vail? I think it’s Vail. It might be some other ski hill in the Colorado Rockies.) named Born Free. It’s a blue “intermediate” run that’s long and wide and in that sweet spot of just challenging and fun enough that it gets a ton of traffic from skiers of all abilities.
You bet your bippy that I sing exactly the phrase you mention at the top of my lungs whenever I’m skiing down that run. (I don’t know the rest of the song either.) I think it’s required, actually, when you’re skiing down Born Free.
I’ve had it stuck in my head for the past two hours now. But the funky rock version that I recorded back in the mid-80s.
Oh I would like to hear a funky rock version. Anything but Andy Williams (it’s Andy Williams, right? I refuse to look it up).
I haven’t read to the end of the thread, but I have to not be the only one that says, “Well, I DO NOW!”
Grrrrr:p
When I cook, in my head, I play ‘cooking show’. I’m talking to an audience…it’s awful.
It’s awful. I attempt to quip. <sigh>
(And I’m not like a real cook, I started cooking about six years ago. I have no idea what I’m doing and that’s why I love recipe threads.)
And I also replay <in my head>this old commercial for the 'authentic hand hammered oriental wok" that was hosted by some British guy. And he’s showing you how a wok works and how 'the juices run down into the middle, you aren’t frying!"
So at some time during my ‘cooking show’ I say this: “At this point? If you want to add a little wine–add a little wine! 
If you want to add a LOT of wine add a LOT OF WINE-- It’s your wok!”
Unfortunately that recording is long gone. But it might be fun to do another one!
I say “I love you!” out loud when that happens to me. I have no idea why. It’s like an mini reverse Tourette’s.
There’s a town by me named Eliot. Whenever I drive through, I say “Eliot” in ETs voice out loud. I can’t help myself. Sometimes I do the finger thing too.
I also moo at cows and whinney at horses. Pigs get a pass.
I only do this around other people but when I pass Wimauma I sing it like it’s a country song “why mamma, why mamma, why did you have to leave me”.
By myself, I only do a Beavis and Butthead laugh out loud whenever NPR introduces their economist Hugh Johnson. Huhuhuhuhuh.