Oooh, I thought of one. When there is a local story about someone that died doing something stupid, like going 100 mph down a city street and smashing their car, or killed someone else doing something stupid, like DUI, I look to see if they have a Facebook page. There’s usually not a picture of them in the news story, and I just want to see what someone that would do something that dumb looks like. Of course, I’d never post on their FB page, even if you could, which you can’t- I’m satisfied to just look at them and their interests and get a small glimmer of what they are/were like. It’s macabre, but there it is there.
My new ‘magic number’ seems to be 12. How does that work, you ask? Well, an example is filling up the cat’s water dish. I try to do it by counting to 12 while the water’s running.
Not ‘12’ related, but…When I’m putting gas in the car, say $10 worth, and when the pump numbers reach $9.50 and start slowing down and slowly tick by to get up to $10, I look away and count in my head: “$9.51, $9.52” etc. and try to reach the $10 just when the pump shuts off.
OCD is something, ain’t it?
I do the “cooking show” thing too!
One of my own - left or downward-pointing parts of letters, and Os, belong to my left foot. Right or upward-pointing parts of letters belong to my right foot. When I’m bored (in a meeting, waiting for a train, etc) I trace them with my toes inside my shoes and count them. If my left foot wins, it’s a good thing. That sounds… even weirder than I thought it would.
Oh, and I eat things “evenly” on each side of my mouth. M&Ms, peanuts, bites of food - one each, alternately.
When I was about 5, I misheard the lyrics to “Rock & Roll, Hoochie Coo” as “lordy mama like my shoes”, instead of “light my fuse”. Now when I get new shoes, I perform my version in my head.
You reminded me of another one of mine. I do something similar only I tell them “no wild parties now”.
I pretend I’m schooling my horse. little bit of half pass here, jump over that kerb, extended trot along here…
I click my tongue as I’m going.
Thankfully I don’t see too many people en route.
:o
Before I leave my house, I step in front the mirror, pull the keys out of my pocket and hold them high. (I once locked myself out, it’s a strategy to avoid this).
Whenever I walk past anyone, regardless of age, race, socioeconomic status, or outward appearance, I hold my breath for a minute, so as not to smell someone’s possible body odor.
I also refuse to watch standard definition TV. I will find something mediocre in HD before I watch something great in standard def.
Because of that scene in “Saturday Night Fever” where you see Tony’s feet from his own perspective as he’s walking down the street, whenever I look down and catch a glimpse of my feet when I’m striding purposefully, I hear “Stayin’ Alive” in my head, and start walking on the rhythm of it.
Yes! I do this. I also imagine scenarios of what to do if I open my door and someone is inside. “I could pick up the toaster oven and lob it at his head!”
When I’m listening to the radio in the morning and they’re giving the traffic report, sometimes the guy will say something like “traffic is backed up at <location> due to an obstruction in the roadway.” And in my head I hear the voice of M. Emmett Walsh from Raising Arizona saying “And it’s not a piece of the car!”
I don’t pretend I do that, but I do have the occasional minor panic attack about it. A few years ago I had a dream that I was in the 1930s and coming home, to some city row house, walking up the steps and getting out my keys, when someone either walked up or drove by and shot me. Ever since then–very vivid nightmare, obviously!–I sometimes get the fantods when getting my house keys out coming home.
Especially when it is very 1930s out.
What a coincidence, I had just been thinking about starting a related thread a little while ago:
"Your humorous parodies of song lyrics."
My friend Jeff says, “It’s a thin line between pole and bait.”
And I can sometimes be caught singing Iggy Pop’s Right To Move – “I gotta right, a right to moo (MOO!), anytime I want, any old time…”
BUT back to the OP. When tying a square knot, instead of what I learned in Girl Scouts – right over left and under, left over right and under – I do it the other way around. You know, so the Right goes under. Hasn’t always worked too well though.
Oh, also, I was thinking awhile back about starting an IMHO poll thread to find out how many of my fellow Dopers also do a muppet laugh. (a la Adam Savage.)
I substitute the phrase “Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there” for a popular three-letter text abbreviation that indicates that something is funny.
I label my socks. I buy only 1 type of sock, and I hate to get older ones paired with newer ones (or ones that have been laundered more with ones that have been laundered less, etc.), so I label each pair before their first use. Happily, my launderers match them up.
That’s awesome! 
(you realize of course, I’ll never be able to look at my feet again, while I’m walking, without also hearing this song).
I often do the “name game” in my head. And not always with proper names. Like when I’m washing dishes I’ll think “dishes dishes bo bishes, banana fanna fo fishes…etc.”
I do this. However, it’s not always when I come home. Sometimes it’s when I’m walking to the car in a parking lot. Scary…
I’m like that with hotel room keys - it must be in my hand and visible before I close the door. (Never been locked out, just don’t want to take the chance!)
I left my headlights on shortly after I got my Jeep so now I have a routine that I recite in my head: “Park…parking brake…off…lights.” And if I lock the doors my keys must be in my hand, see above.
TV adverts for Autoglass are on UK TV all the time, complete with an annoying song/jingle at the end:
“Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace.” [they are a company who replace car windscreens]
Every single time I ‘finish off’ in my head with:
“Jism in my hair, jism in my face.”
Just seems to fit so well, I’m sure the ad writers made it rhyme deliberately…