Almost everytime I hear someone complain about going through a quarterlife crisis, they get a couple of cool points subtracted by their name.
Most of the complaints are about work. UMMM HELLO, be thankful that you have a JOB!
No one made you take the career! Why didn’t you do more research about what you were getting yourself into?
Who says that you have to take an ordinary 9 to 5 job? You know there’s other ways to make money. Why didn’t you try and start your own business? Join the peace corps? Become a stripper? Head to the mountains and become a ski instructor? SHUT UP! Fuck the status quo, don’t work at a job that you hate to please your family, friends, and people you don’t even know.
You can’t meet anyone or make any friends? Yes, it is harder to make friends and meet guys/girls outside of college, but it isn’t impossible. Move to a bigger city, work at a part-time job, join a league, take a class, or go to a larger church (if you’re religious). Meet people through other people. HUSTLE!
Many of them sound spoiled. You have to work, pay bills, and live on your own! BOO HOOOOOO! What about people who have terminal illnesses, are piss poor, or have profound disabilities? Some of those people would be glad to stand in your shoes!
This is new to me as well. My quarterlife crisis must have passed unnoticed while I was busy putting myself through grad school working as a cocktail waitress while falling madly in and out of love with musicians. Ah well, my midlife crisis may be just around the bend. Oh wait. I may be too busy to have one of those either.
The first years out of college were the hardest in my life- and I havn’t lived a sheltered life. When you are in school, you always know you are doing the right thing. But in the real world, you gotta figure out your path all alone. In school, you don’t have to worry about health insurance or money or what town you should live in or how fast the years are going by. In fact, a whole world is set up for you with career centers and housing offices and health centers and councilors. So it’s a kick in the pants to wake up and realizes not much of anyone in the world really gives a damn about you.
Yeah sure, it’s a little whiney and ther eis nothing to do in the end but suck it up and figure things out. But it isn’t a picnic.
Are you serious? Just because someone’s situation could be worse doesn’t mean that their complaints aren’t worthy of being heard, or that they don’t deserve to be able to vent about their stresses. If my main stress is feeding my family while yours is worrying about the new scratch in your Mercedes, it doesn’t mean that your stress somehow doesn’t count or shouldn’t exist.
I’ve never heard of a quarterlife crisis, but I imagine it’s just a new collective term for what lots of folks go through shortly after graduating from college (somewhere around mid-20s). In response to your numbered list:[ul][li]“Be grateful that you have a job” is a lazy response that completely misses the point. I don’t think anyone ever really forgets to be grateful that they’re employed, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t allowed to bitch about their jobs.[/li][li] You can’t ever know what a career is really going to be like until you’re in it, no matter how much “research” you do. I am not surprised at all that people in their early 20s are complaining about their chosen careers, because they’ve finally spent a few years working in them. This is a perfectly natural time for someone to realize that they might have made a mistake, and they have every right to stress about it while they figure out what to do next.[/li][li]Most people have to spend at least some time in a regular 9-5 job before they can afford to do the things you suggest (start a business, become a ski instructor, etc.). 9-5 is the only realistic option for a lot of people, especially right out of college, whether they ultimately want to work in that kind of environment or not.[/li][li]It is completely legitimate for someone to complain that it’s hard to make new friends. If you think that all it takes is “hustle,” you’re either incredibly lucky or incredibly naïve. Either way, it’s kind of condescending to imply that if people aren’t making new friends it’s because they’re not trying hard enough.[/li]Having to work, pay bills, and live on your own can be very stressful – not to mention that it can be quite a culture shock to someone who recently graduated from college. Saying that people who complain about that are spoiled just because they’re not all “well at least I have all of my limbs!” is pretty ridiculous.[/ul]
I’d never heard of the term before - it’s better if it doesn’t have a name. But it IS a tough period for a lot of people. A number of my friends had those kinds of problems after graduating, and I guess I had some too.
I took care not to whine too much about what I was dealing with because I’ve got some perspective, but “you’re spoiled” is a bullshit criticism. This may shock you, Diamonds02, but just because you finished college doesn’t mean your life is perfect and you have no problems. Starting out on your own, understandably, can be hard no matter what your background was. Do you think we need to shut the fuck up and listen to you? I’ll pass, thanks.
Also, with life expectancies being what they are, the quarter-life crisis would be at about age 19 or 20, with the midlife crisis at about 39. I don’t know what this bullshit is with people having midlife crises in their 50s.
Our entire society and economy is built around working too many hours at pointless jobs in order to sustain a lifestyle that only leaves us feeling empty, bored, and a bit used. The quarter-life crisis is an entire generation realizing this and declaring their unwillingness to participate.
What Misnomer said. I had my ‘quarterlife crisis’ a quarter-century ago, when it didn’t have a name; I figured I was getting my midlife crisis out of the way really early!
Got an OK job out of college, let myself get in a rut and stayed there a couple years longer than was good for me because I didn’t know what else I wanted to do with myself, then woke up one day and figured I’d better do SOMETHING different. And eventually did.
But like the man said, the first job you get out of college isn’t necessarily going to be the right one, and it may take a few years to figure it out, and figure out what to do instead. That’s not surprising. You may have made some choices because it was what the people around you said you ought to do, not because it was what you wanted to do. That’s not surprising either - a lot of us are still separating our identity from that of our family, peer group, etc. in the years right after college. And while there’s no better time than your 20s for joining the peace corps or a religious commune or becoming a ski bum, because later on you’ll have gotten too attached to privacy and material comforts to go that route, it’s still quite a jump to make from your more typical jobs.
So people in their 20s, espcially those who’ve been through college, are going to agonize over this shit, a lot of them anyway. What’s the big deal? Remember all the far more inconsequential stuff we agonized over while in college. And sure, we’re always lucky to have our health, a roof over our head, and food on the table, but unless we’re living in a part of the world where war or famine isn’t that far away, we’re of course gonna take that for granted, and be preoccupied with the life decisions in front of us that we don’t have much practice in making yet. That’s life.
You know, I don’t like to get all personal story-esque on Forums, especially ones where I’m relatively new and don’t really know people, so I won’t share my own story, but I will say this:
Not everyone’s having a great time in their 20s. Just because you are/were, doesn’t mean it’s like some Teen Drama for the rest of us.
I was much happier when I was 18, and it’s only been very recently that things have started- only started, mind you- to look up for me. There’s still a way to go yet, though.
Yeah, the whole Quarter Life Crisis thing has become big since Dr. Phil and Oprah latched onto it- but you don’t necessarially have to have graduated college to suddenly ask yourself “What the fuck am I doing with my life, and why is nothing working out like it’s supposed to???”
Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me. This “quarter-life crisis” is actually being thrown around the general population like it means something? QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS?? Isn’t that what USED to be called, “Wow, real life really DOES suck, doesn’t it?”
I’d say the PROBLEM is that people are being told throughout high school and college that they’re SPECIAL and they’re IMPORTANT and they are STARDUST and they are GOLDEN, and then they’re not in school any more and suddenly instead of being Mommy’s Little Angel or Prof’s Favorite Poet, they’re just Another Fucking Human Being.
Wah. Get the fuck over it. Toughen up in your 20s while you’re still on the uphill climb. What was it Drew Carey said? “Your life sucks? Join the club. It’s called ‘Everybody’ and they meet every Wednesday night at the bar.” Something like that.
One bright side, I guess; more money for the psychologists as all of these easily-manipulated fucktards go to get their totally normal feelings “cured.”
You ARE kidding, aren’t you? Or are you that starry-eyed?
This is NOT an entire generation declaring their unwillingness to participate. Even the sixties, where the viewpoint you apparently consider newly discovered was widely shared by college students and post-grads, didn’t see any significant drop in the numbers of people actually participating. And here’s a real laugh for you - the same generation who were absolutely sincere during the sixties about that attitude are the very people who now drive the sixty-hour work week.
The current generation isn’t going to rock the boat. That would require WAY too much effort, and far too little irony. You can’t be “cool” when you’re really enthusiastic, and any kind of movement of that nature requires enthusiasm.
I’m not scoffing at the self-absorbed twentysomethings moaning about paying rent and insurance premiums because my early adult years were wonderful. Nor have I missed the relative aspects of happiness and tragedy. I’m simply suggesting that any recently graduated, healthy 24 year old with a job is in a position unique to his/her age in that they have more choices than most people younger, older, and less educated than themselves. Perhaps if these quarterlife crisis sufferers could pull their empty little heads out of their well examined navels long enough to consider this fact, they’d be out living life instead of complaining about what it’s doing to them.
Best laugh I’ve had all day. Self-important little whining poster, bless your soul. “Entire society” – “Entire generation”? Could you be any hyperbolic without exploding? Ohh - so baby feels “empty, bored, and a bit used”? Well - fuck you - it’s not anyone else’s duty to correct any of those problems. Thanks again for the laugh.