can you write my thesis for me?
You could always masturbate.
Porcupine, you don’t know how funny that statement is.
I WAS going to suggest getting “virtually married” to the person posting right above me in this thread…
[sub]But then I realized that one of the individuals in question might try to feed me “pink juice” if we should ever meet in person[/sub]
Check out some of the stuff at http://www.rinkworks.com - I personally recommend the Dialectizer and Computer Stupidities.
There’s also http://www.newsoftheweird.com which is often good for a few minutes amusement.
DRY, Black Hole is so phobic about the whole marriage thing (at least when it comes to me, anyway) that I doubt I could convince him to even “virtually” marry me. He is the one who needs the darn pink juice. 
Hey, I could VIRTUALLY MARRY Cyndar… it’s just the whole REAL marriage thing that gets me. Besides, I’m only 27. I have my whole life ahead of me to waste. WHY would I want to marry ANYBODY? =)
Because I’m not just ANYONE. I’m Michi! And after 6 years you OWE me!
Can you do a little research? I’d like to know if there really is a correlation between too much caffeine and an itchy butt. Okay, off with ya.
well, I have some ideas, but they might not be suitable for the workplace
i think thats where i first learned of The Straight Dope.
“This is the very ecstasy of love!”
–Hamlet, Act 2 , Scene i
Oh, I’m sorry! Looks like you’re married already! 
“No sooner met, but they looked;
no sooner looked but they loved;
no sooner loved but they sighed;
no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason;
no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy”
–As You Like It, Act 5, Scene ii
And you owe me lots of things that are too graphic and suggestive to post on a message board, but you don’t hear ME griping about them… much =)
You’ll get everything you want and more if you’ll just MARRY me dammit! You know you want to. You know no one will put up with you the way I do. How could you not wnt to marry me? I’m so cute!
“Ay me! for aught that ever I could read,
Could ever hear by tale or history,
The course of true love never did run smooth
But, either it was different in blood”
“O cross! too high to be enthrall’d to low.”
“Or else misgraffed in respect of years”
“O spite! too old to be engag’d to young.”
“Or else it stood upon the choice of friends”
“O hell! to choose love by another’s eye.”
Oops.
–A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 1, Scene i
Yeah, you’re pretty cute. But I know this whole routine… “You’ll get everything you want.” Uh huh. Until the “I Do.” Then, EVERYTHING changes. HAH! NO way.
You’ll never know unless you marry me first.
“I swear to thee by Cupid’s strongest bow,
By his best arrow with the golden head,
By the simplicity of Venus’ doves,
By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves,
And by that fire which burn’d the Carthage queen,
When the false Troyan under sail was seen,
By all the vows that ever men have broke,—
In number more than ever women spoke,—”
–A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 1, Scene i 